For Once in My Life
by sitarra
Summary: EO. "Now I stand before you with my heart in my hands. I'm asking you to take me just the way that I am."
1. Be My Baby

Title: For Once in My Life

Author: sitarra

Rating: PG-13 for now for some language.

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own anything in this story. Elliot Stabler, Olivia Benson, and fellow recognized characters are not my own. 'Be my Baby' is performed by the Ronettes and is not mine.

Summary: AU story with a mix of Elliot and Olivia's high school and college/marine life and everything after.

A/N: I realize a lot of people are doing high school stories. The only high school in this story will be flashbacks of Elliot and Olivia's time in high school together. Most of the story will focus on college and getting through the marines and school. Also, Motown songs will be featured predominantly in this story as that was a great era in music.

Big shout out and thanks to Darkalley29 for helping me build confidence to post this chapter!

* * *

'_I'll make you happy, baby_

_Just wait and see_

_For every kiss you give me_

_I'll give you three_

_Oh, since the day I saw you_

_I have been waiting for you_

_You know I will adore you_

_For eternity'_

May 27, 1981

Hundreds of families assembled on Washington High School's football field. The class of 1981 was finally ready to graduate. Dozens of flashes went off at once as parents took pictures of their child walking across the stage, diploma finally in hand. It was the perfect day for the occasion. After raining nonstop the week before, the current week held nothing but beautiful sunshine and blue skies. There had been worry that the field wouldn't dry in time but a heat wave had cleared up any worry.

As Elliot Stabler listened to the valedictorian drone on with his final speech of the morning, he glanced around at the sea of loving families and looked for the only person he wanted to see. A broad smile crossed his face when he spotted her. Her – the reason he was even graduating high school with honors. She was probably the reason he was even graduating in general. Her study ethic had always made him want to work harder. Plus her study methods for him were very encouraging.

She smiled back at him when she caught him looking. Her beautiful white smile matched his as they looked at each other under a cloudless sky. She mouthed something at him and pointed toward the front where the stage was located. He thought about shaking his head no but decided he could attempt to wait until the end of his classmate's speech before holding her in his arms.

Olivia Benson just chuckled to herself as she watched her boyfriend turn around again. That was the third time she had caught him looking at her while he was supposed to be watching the stage.

She would forever be grateful for the day she met Elliot Stabler three years ago. She had just been a shy freshman when she had been paired up as the sophomore football player's biology lab partner. He had been rude and crass and they only spoke when necessary. For two months almost, she thought he was the epitome of a jackass.

Until the day she was unable to hide the bruises.

He had been so concerned. He asked about it during class and throughout the school day but she was tight lipped. At least, she was until he pulled her aside after school. She was vague but she had assured him she wasn't in an abusive relationship.

"You're in some kind of abusive relationship to be sportin' bruises like that," he had told her. "Boyfriend? Or parents?"

As her eyes had turned down when he said parents, he had received his answer.

"It's complicated," she had said.

Slowly, he had nodded. "Yeah, I know all about complicated."

When their eyes met after his statement, a friendship had been born.

She never even told him the truth until a year later after a party they both attended. He was off again with his girlfriend and the guy she had been with had ditched her so Elliot and Olivia decided to take a walk instead. They learned a lot about each other that night and now, a year later, she was his girlfriend.

She would never forget the day he finally asked her out. Or the nervous look on his face.

E

O

November 10, 1980

It wasn't exactly the most beautiful of days. It was raining, not a drizzle but not a downpour. It was that annoying level in between. And it was windy.

"Do you think it'll let up soon?" Olivia asked, staring out the window in English class. Class hadn't started yet but she was one of the few who actually went to class promptly instead of clowning around in the hallways.

"Probably not," Elliot answered, leaning in close to her. He had been touchy feely lately, which was fine by her, but it was unusual for him. "I think it's supposed to rain nonstop for the next couple of days."

She glanced at him. "I just wish it would stop. I don't feel like walking in the rain today."

"You know I can give you a ride, right? I drove today because of the rain."

"That death trap?" she teased. "No, thank you."

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Liv, it is not a death trap."

Elliot's uncle Bobby had helped him purchase a used 1974 Chevy corvette by letting Elliot work at his bar for the last few years. The seats were falling apart, the doors would stick, when it was too cold out it was questionable whether the engine would actually start half the time, but he loved his car.

"Come on, Liv, think of the hair," he tempted, knowing her affinity for her hair. "You don't want it getting all wet, do you?"

Olivia contemplated what he was saying. Her love of her hair, the occasional make-up, and sometimes dressing like a girl should was about as girly as she ever got. She was tomboyish most of the time. She enjoyed sports and she didn't mind if she actually happened to sweat. What she didn't know was that Elliot loved this about her.

"I suppose I'll let you give me a ride home in the death trap," she finally relented. He smiled broadly at her. Her heart fluttered in her ribcage. "But only if we can make a pit stop."

E

O

"You have an odd relationship with ice cream," Elliot noticed as he watched Olivia devour her chocolate ice cream cone as they sat in his car.

They had kind of a tradition. Whenever he drove her home, nine times out of ten they would stop by a popular ice cream shop and find a place in Central Park to sit and talk. Most of the time, it was so Olivia wouldn't have to deal with her mother right away. He didn't mind; he got to spend more time with her. Alone.

"It's not a weird relationship," Olivia corrected. "I'm just probably the only girl you know who's not afraid to eat anything other than a salad in front of a guy."

Elliot chuckled. "That is probably true."

A comfortable silence fell over the two, except for the car's radio playing in the background. They enjoyed listening to the old classics together, the classic Motown. All of the other kids at their school kept up with the latest music. Well, most of them anyway. A common group of friends they hung out with shared their musical interests.

"Shayne's having a party this weekend," Elliot remembered. "He told me to pass along the news to you."

Olivia shrugged. "I don't think I'll go."

"Got a hot date I don't know about?" he teased. She usually told him about any guy that even asked her out.

She smiled. "No. I just don't feel like it."

"Your mom drinking again?" he guessed.

She glanced over at him. "Again implies that she stopped at one point. She's always drinking but no more than usual these days."

"So why don't you want to go then?" You love going to his parties."

"I don't know. I just…" She flung her head back against the headrest. "I'm tired of doing the same thing every day. I'm tired of life. I'm tired of dealing with my mother. I'm tired of everything."

"Even tired of me?" Elliot asked timidly. Surely she couldn't be tired of him. In his opinion, they didn't see each other enough for her to be tired of him.

Olivia smiled over at him. "I'll never be tired of you, El. You're my best friend."

Inside his ribcage, Elliot's heart fluttered rapidly. "Then what's wrong, Liv?"

But she only shook her head. How could she describe to him what she had been feeling lately? Her mother had been on her case lately, not that there was anything new about that. She was simply getting fed up with her mother's threats and accusations. It was like a repeat of last year when her mother had found out about her relationship with Thomas. Her mother simply knew, insisted even, that she was involved with a boy and was planning to run off with him to get away from Serena.

No amount of denying it on Olivia's part would convince Serena otherwise. So Serena continued to yell and hit and beat Olivia until Olivia begged her to stop and promised her she wasn't going anywhere. Olivia would cry herself to sleep at night, wishing for someone to talk to and take away her pain. Sometimes she would call Elliot, usually with a stupid question about a homework assignment, just to hear him talk and take her mind off of the hell that was her life. She had a feeling he knew her questions were all just a ruse. After all, he was the one that usually called her with questions about their homework assignments seeing as how she was the one that took pages of notes. But he humored her and eventually he would have her in tears of laughter.

She was starting to worry… well, not worry necessarily, that she was developing feelings for Elliot. Romantic feelings. But she didn't know if her feelings were coming from the right place. What if it was a repeat of her relationship with Thomas? No, it couldn't be. But what if it was transference: she wanted to love and be loved by Elliot since her own mother couldn't seem to love her. No, it couldn't be that either. She felt different feelings than she felt with Thomas every time she looked at Elliot.

She didn't quite know when her feelings for him had changed, only that it was in the spring. He had touched her shoulder after a jog one day in gym class to ask her if she wanted some water. Her skin had tingled for hours afterwards and she had gone to sleep that night with a goofy grin on her face.

Okay, she definitely had romantic feelings for Elliot.

But she was positive he didn't feel the same way. Although, he was more touchy feely lately and they were hanging out more.

No, he just saw her as one of the guys. Didn't he?

Although, he had broken up with his on again off again girlfriend Kathy.

But how long was that going to last? It usually only lasted a few weeks.

Although, it had been four months so far and Kathy had really fucked up her relationship with Elliot this time. There was no way Elliot would take back someone who had cheated on him.

"Liv? Earth to Liv," she heard from her left. She shook her head to shake her thoughts away. There was no use in dwelling on her life now. She turned her head to see Elliot looking at her like she had three heads.

"Are you okay, Olivia? You disappeared on me there."

She reached over and patted his leg. "I'm fine, El. I was just thinking."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

He was looking at her so tenderly and loving; oh, she had it bad when he looked at her with those icy blue eyes of his.

"I promise I'm okay," she told him one last time with as much conviction she could muster up. "Maybe I just need more sleep."

"You know, you gotta stop staying up so late studying," he teased. "You're gonna start making me look bad when I bomb on tests and you pass them flying colors. I might have to start looking over your shoulder."

She punched him in the shoulder. "You already do that."

His smile disappeared from his face. "Oh, you know about that?"

He succeeded in his goal of making her laugh. Her sweet chuckle filled the interior of the car, causing him to smile. He loved the sound of her laugh and the sight of her smile. It brightened her face; her tan skin would glow radiantly. But in his opinion, she didn't smile or laugh nearly enough.

He wanted to change that.

Elliot watched as Olivia leaned over to fiddle with the radio. His eyes traveled her features. Her dark brown hair reached down to her shoulders; she had been letting it grow out. She had styled in the current popular fashion, the feathered look, and oh, how he longed to run his hands through it. His eyes followed the smooth slope of her nose. It suited her face well. He wanted to cup her cheek in his hand, it looked so soft. And then he would draw his lips closer to the supple lips he longed to taste.

"Hey, um, Liv?" Elliot stuttered out.

She glanced his way. "Yeah."

Suddenly, he couldn't look at her as he said this.

"I, uh, I was, um, wondering. Would you… what I mean to say is would you be interested in… um, I mean, do you want to… ugh…"

Olivia chuckled. "Spit it out, El. You're starting to remind me of when Tommy from chemistry asked me to go out with him."

"Exactly!" he blurted out. Olivia only stared at him blankly, confused. "What I'm trying to say or ask you is uh… do you want to go out with me one night? Like, to dinner or a movie or even a walk in the park. Or it doesn't have to be any of those. You could pick what we do or we could just play it loose. Or…"

"Elliot!" Olivia practically yelled to get him to stop babbling. He looked at her nervously. She would have laughed if she didn't think it would crush him and his ego. "Elliot, are you asking me out on a date?"

"Um, yeah, yeah, I am."

She was going to say no, he just knew it. She was either going to laugh in his face or slap him. Either way, his reaction to the rejection of his best friend wasn't going to be pretty.

But then she did something he never expected.

She smiled.

"I would love to go out with you, Elliot."

E

O

May 27, 1981

Elliot made his way through a crowd of families with their graduates. He hadn't spotted her yet but he knew she was near. She was the only one that had showed up today for his graduation. He expected it but he was still a little hurt. Sometimes he wished his mom wasn't as sick as she was. And he wished his father cared more about him or that he was at least proud of him. Not that giving him broken bones, ignoring him, and beating him didn't make him feel like he was bringing honor to the family name.

But none of that mattered to him anymore. Not when he had Olivia at his side. He hated leaving her every night but he loved seeing her every morning before school. He had gotten in the habit of dropping her off later every night and picking her up earlier every morning. With his father away from the house most of the time and his mother usually on another one of her creative ideas, his home life was normally no problem anymore. But Olivia on the other hand… He practically counted down the seconds until he was able to remove her from the hell of her apartment. He had only met her mother once and it had been from a distance. Olivia had finally told him about her mother's reaction to Olivia's relationship with Thomas, one of Serena's students. Elliot had been the one to suggest that he stay out of Serena's knowledge and sight until she was back on the wagon for more than six months. She was a scary woman, Serena Benson, but for some reason Olivia still loved her no matter the shit she was put through.

"I hear you just graduated from high school," a familiar feminine voice said from behind him. Smiling to himself, Elliot turned around.

"Yeah, I did. That interest you?"

The female stepped closer to him, her hands going to the sash that hung from his neck.

"A little. I kind of have this thing for slightly older guys."

"Oh, yeah! Well, I'm also going into the marines in the fall."

"Ooh, a man in uniform. I bet none of the girls will be able to keep their hands off you."

"Probably not."

Olivia laughed and punched his shoulder. "You are so cocky. Why'd you have to ruin it?"

"Hey, I have you," he reasoned. "I can afford to be cocky."

She raised her brow. "Oh, is that right?"

He pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her tightly. He drew his face closer to hers but didn't yet press his lips to hers.

"That's right. I thank god every day for bringing you into my life."

Olivia brought her hands up to the nape of his neck. She threaded her fingers through his brown locks of hair and nipped at his lips with her own.

"Do you spend your nights thinking of those cheesy come on lines?" she asked teasingly. "Because I've got to tell you…"

Her words were cut off by Elliot's lips on hers. Every single time, it never failed to take her breath away. She had kissed boys before but most of them had been all over the place and a little too grabby. Not to say that Elliot wasn't occasionally all over the place but she understood the hormone surges. Elliot was gentle and rough and everything in between. She imagined he was the type of man that women were reading about when they read those romance novels. Although occasionally his hormones would get the best of him, and she would have to tell him to slow down. He always apologized and they always returned to business.

Slowly, he pulled away so they could catch their breath. His eyes had a sparkle about them; a sparkle that she liked to think was because of her.

"You were saying?" he said smugly.

She smiled sweetly at him.

"You've already got the girl."

'_So won't you please?_

_Be my, be my baby_

_Be my little baby_

_My one and only baby_

_Say you'll be my darlin'_

_Be my, be my baby_

_Be my baby now'_

* * *

I'm just putting the feelers out with this chapter. Let me know if you like it.


	2. The Way You Make Me Feel

Thanks to everybody who reviewed the previous chapter! It means a lot to me that you guys take the time to read and review this story.

The song in this chapter is "The Way You Make Me Feel" by Michael Jackson

* * *

'_Hey, pretty baby with the high heels on_

_You give me fever like I've never, ever known_

_You're just a product of loveliness_

_I like the groove of your walk, your talk, your dress_

_I feel your fever from miles around_

_I'll pick you up in my car and we'll paint the town_

_Just kiss me baby and tell me twice_

_That you're the one for me'_

**May 29, 1981**

"Explain to me why we're looking at colleges now."

"So you have an idea of what each school has to offer and which one is best for you."

Olivia gave him a look. "The one that's farthest away from home is the one that's best, Elliot."

He smirked. "Maybe it's just my excuse to get you alone for a weekend," he murmured. "We can hang out together with no interruptions one last time before I have to leave for basic."

"El, you don't leave until the end of the summer," she gently reminded him. She had the date circled on her wall calendar. "We have plenty of time together."

"Yeah, yeah, I guess," he grumbled. There would never be enough time as far as Elliot was concerned. He was working part time at his uncle's bar all summer, which meant he never really saw Olivia past five o'clock every evening. She worked most days with a tour service showing people around New York City. By the time she was getting off work, he was just starting work. Most days, the only time he could see her was when he drove over after his shift and she snuck out of her room.

They tried to spend as much time together on days off but it wasn't always possible. A few times, Elliot had even taken a tour just so he could be around Olivia for a few extra hours. It was worth it, too. He would try his damnedest to make her crack a smile at his corny jokes while she was explaining monuments to overseas tourists.

The next few years would be trying. Elliot would be going to the marines in a few months but Olivia would be staying in the city to finish out her last year of high school. Then she would be off to college wherever she pleased while Elliot would be at the mercy of the marines. He already knew of a possible ten days they would get to spend together while he was in the marines but beyond that…

Provided they even stayed together through all of this.

He wasn't blind. He knew Olivia was a very attractive young woman. They were opposites and yet so similar. He was lucky to have her. She could have any guy she wanted but for some reason she chose him. Him. Elliot Stabler. He was a teenager with a bad haircut and an almost lanky build. Anger sometimes got the best of him and he had an ego that sometimes became inflated. He hadn't had the best childhood but then again, neither had she. Olivia practically had the rest of her life mapped out while he had no clue where he wanted his life to go but, for some reason, she still wanted to be with him.

Yeah, he had himself one hell of a girl.

E

O

The car couldn't have pulled into the parking space any faster for Olivia. Elliot hadn't even put the car in park when she shot out from the passenger's side. He chuckled to himself as his eyes followed her figure as she all but ran to the restroom.

He took his time exiting the car. He gathered all necessary items before climbing out of the car and locking it.

They were at the last of their college stops: Siena College. They had started close to home, going to colleges and universities on their days off from work. They had both taken off work for a weekend to go on this road trip. They had decided to drive up early Friday morning, spend Saturday looking at the college, and spend Sunday together in the area before driving back home late Sunday evening. It was also a way to get away from their parents for a little while as well. Elliot's father had been in a foul mood lately, taking his anger out on his children and yelling at his wife. Serena was drinking again as a result of the end of the school year and the loss of a boyfriend. Olivia treasured every minute she was out of that apartment.

He stepped into the lobby of the hotel just as Olivia was coming out of the women's room.

"Feel better?" he asked as she came up beside him.

She punched his bicep as she said, "Why did you get me the thirty-six ounce? And why did you let me drink it all?"

"You said you were thirsty," he laughed, rubbing his arm.

"Yeah, well, you didn't have to let me drink it all," she repeated softly.

Elliot's arm settled around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. Her arms snaked their way around his waist while she sensed his change of mood. He placed a gentle kiss to her temple before she pressed her cheek into his chest, cuddling up to him.

"I'm glad we took this trip," Elliot spoke softly near her ear. She titled her head up to look into his icy blue eyes. She loved looking into his eyes. She always saw his love for her reflecting back and she knew he saw the same thing in her eyes.

"Me, too."

E

O

"This place has another plus going for it. The scenery is beautiful up here," Olivia commented from the window of their fourth floor window. She had been in Manhattan all her life. To look out the window and see green, leafy trees everywhere was surreal. It was beautiful. Everything had color. It wasn't drab like the city. In the city, everything was gray from the buildings to the streets. The only color was the cabs and cars on the streets. Here, she could see rolling hills of green grass from the window. There were a few fields of crops she could see; she couldn't tell what was growing there though.

"What's the other plus?" Elliot dropped their bags onto one of the two queen beds in the room.

"It's far from home."

She moved elsewhere to continue her search of the room. She wandered into the bathroom, flicking on the light as she went.

"Aww," she cooed. "Look at the little shampoos."

Elliot chuckled. "Baby, have you ever been in a hotel before?"

"Nope," came her response from the bathroom. "Been in Manhattan my whole life. I have been to Jersey once, though, but it was just a day trip. I went to a bakery in Hoboken to get a cake for my best friend's birthday."

She looked up from the shampoo and soap when she saw his reflection in the mirror. He had a wide smile on his face.

"You went all the way to Hoboken just to get me that cake? I loved that cake," he confessed.

"I know." She turned around to face him only to find him a step closer as well. Before she knew it, she was wrapped up in his arms. "And I kinda love you."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

If possible, his smile widened even more. "That's good because I kinda love you, too."

He met her halfway as his lips met hers. Her arms wrapped underneath his and up his shoulders so she could squeeze him tightly to her. He gladly returned the favor. His mouth smoothed effortlessly over hers, months of practice coming into play. He timidly brought his tongue into the equation. He gently prodded her lips with his tongue and was happy when he felt her eagerly open her lips to accept.

It was amazing. Kissing Olivia was like sticking his tongue into an electrical outlet. It was dangerous but oh, so appealing. Once he had a taste and saw the fireworks, he knew he had to do it again and again.

E

O

**November 14, 1980**

"I can't believe you had never been to the Central Park Zoo?" Olivia said Elliot, incredulously.

"Well, I went once," he remembered, "but it was a class field trip in elementary school. I don't remember much about it, though."

"I come here at least once a month. It's pretty relaxing."

Elliot had decided to let Olivia pick their activity for the day. The weather was still fairly decent with highs in the seventies. It was unusual but people were enjoying it knowing that the brunt of winter would soon be upon them. They had had an entertaining time at the zoo. They shared a pretzel and a coke, but Elliot said Olivia had eaten more of the pretzel than he had. It was a great day but it wasn't over yet. Elliot was more than thankful that he had finally gathered the courage to ask out his best friend.

"So," Olivia began. She kept a slow pace as they began to walk the sidewalks of Central Park. "Elliot Stabler. What is your agenda?"

Elliot laughed out loud. "Agenda?" he repeated. "I don't have an agenda."

Olivia gave him a long side glance and said, "Every guy has an agenda."

"Yeah, well, not me. I'm not like most guys."

"No, you're not," she agreed. She wagged a finger at him. "But no funny business, buddy."

He laughed softly. "Okay, okay. If I do anything, you have my permission to hit me."

"I don't need your permission. I'll just hit you when you least expect it."

He knew she was serious but the look on her face caused him to laugh harder. She bumped her shoulder into his but joined him in his laugher. This was why she loved hanging out with Elliot. He could always get her laughing no matter what kind of day she was having.

"You should have seen your face," Elliot laughed. He bent at the waist to help breathe.

"Shut up! You're such an ass sometimes." But she was still laughing with him. Even on her lowest days when she wanted no one else around, Elliot would always make sure he was there to make her laugh.

Elliot stood upright again and put his arm around Olivia's shoulders. "But you love me anyway," he reminded her with a cheesy grin.

"No comment."

There was no need for him to know how right he might have been about that statement.

"Hey, you want to get some hot chocolate?" Elliot wondered. Olivia nodded that she did and resumed walking with him. He dropped his arm from around her shoulders but kept his body close to hers. They had always walked close to one another – in the hall, in gym class, on walks after school – but he noticed that lately, their hands had been brushing together more often. So many times, he had wanted to scoop her hand up in his but he'd been afraid she would slap him. They were both pretty relaxed today; maybe he could finally make his move.

He waited for his hand to brush against hers again before he made his move. He didn't have to wait long; a few seconds later, their hands collided. He stuck out his index finger to stop her hand from falling victim to gravity. He carefully but fluidly gathered the rest of her hand in his and laced their fingers together.

'_Please don't slap me_,' ran through his mind. His palms were a little sweaty but he was hoping she wouldn't notice. He felt like his entire life was riding on this one moment.

He kept his gaze down but as he glanced over, he saw a smile on her face as she also kept her gaze down. He felt her squeeze his fingers. Slowly, he exhaled.

They walked this way in silence for a while. As much as he loved talking to Olivia, he loved the silent moments, too. They were never awkward silent moments, either. Once, Olivia had called him around eleven o'clock to make sure he knew exactly what he needed done by way of homework the next day. Elliot was constantly forgetting but it was hard for him to call her since Serena would hang up on him if she answered the phone before Olivia. Quickly, the topic had moved away from homework and onto topics from that day – gossip, jokes, and such. They had been talking for a good hour when Olivia began to yawn. Elliot had told her to go to bed but she insisted on talking to him until she fell asleep.

He had chuckled but kept on talking. Mostly he talked about silly random things that he thought was funny. Until she had told him to shut up, at least. She had expressed her desire to sit there with him in silence until she fell asleep or he hung up.

"I could never hang up on you, Liv," he had told her softly. Sweetly.

Ten minutes later of the best silence he'd ever sat through, her deep breathing quietly flitted through the telephone wires and into his ear. He hadn't wanted to hang up on her so he kept the phone pressed to his ear for the rest of the night.

That was the best night's sleep he had ever gotten.

"You know," Olivia's voice broke through his thoughts, "I gotta say. This is really no different than hanging out with you on a normal afternoon. Except now, we're holding hands."

Elliot nodded and teased, "And now you'll have expectations on me. 'Will he pay? Will he hold the door?'"

"I don't expect any of that," she told him softly. "It's always been 50/50 between us. I don't expect that to change now."

"Well, at least let me pay and get the door most of the time," he attempted to compromise. "I need to feel like a man sometimes."

Olivia chuckled. "Okay, I can do that."

A thoughtful silence fell over them again. Did that mean Elliot wanted them to be a couple? She had meant what she said before. Their date really was no different than a normal afternoon with them. They joked around no differently. They looked at each other no differently. They spoke to one another no differently.

Maybe she was expecting too much out of this one date.

She knew she wanted something to happen between them. And since Elliot had asked her out, he obviously did, too. But she also knew she didn't want things to change between them. What if a romantic relationship didn't work out and their friendship was ruined forever. She didn't know if she could handle that. He was the closest friend she'd ever had. He was also the longest friendship she'd ever had.

It was hard to have friends when she had a mother unable to resist the bottle.

"Hey, El?" She waited until he looked over at her. "Why did you ask me out?"

That brought out the nerves in him. He cleared his throat loudly and stuttered through a few words before anything cohesive came out.

"Can we sit for a minute?"

Olivia nodded and let Elliot lead her over to a bench. She noticed their hands never parted.

Elliot angled his body towards her so that their knees touched. The warmth of their connected hands comforted both of them.

"I really like you, Olivia. And you're my best friend," he told her. She could have laughed at the nervous look on his face but she knew it would devastate him if she did. "And I'm kinda… just a little..uh…attracted to you."

Olivia only stared at him.

"Okay, I'm a lot attracted to you," he conceded. He was awarded with a wide, bright smile from her. "I just never wanted to tell you because I didn't want you to think that was the only reason I was friends with you. It's not, by the way."

She tapped one of his fingers with hers. "I know. We have too much in common for you to be sticking around just because you think I'm cute."

"Uh, no. That's an understatement. I think you're hot."

He mentally slapped himself for letting that slip. '_Now she's going to think I'm an asshole, you idiot!_' He continued to mentally berate himself, completely unaware that Olivia had taken it as a compliment.

She was glad Elliot thought she was hot but so many guys had called her hot during her time in high school so far. She wanted to hear that she was beautiful and pretty and gorgeous. She had heard the words so infrequently from people who cared about her.

Although, it did send a certain thrill through her knowing her best friend thought she was hot.

"Liv, I'm so sorry," Elliot rambled on hurriedly. "I didn't mean that."

He watched her eyebrows shoot to the sky questioningly. He realized what he had said and quickly back peddled.

"I mean I did but I didn't. I mean… you are hot but… Olivia, you are such a beautiful person," Elliot spoke gently, a smile gracing his face. He took both of her hands in his. "On the outside and on the inside. You have the most beautiful laugh I've ever heard. And I love the color of your eyes. People give you so much shit but you're still the nicest and most caring person I know. I don't know how you do it but I love that about you. And you're.."

Olivia's lips on his cut his rambling short. Neither one of them moved at first – him from shock and her from nerves. As Olivia shifted in her seat, reality came flooding back to Elliot. He slowly returned pressure on her soft lips. He let her set the pace since she had insinuated the kiss.

There was no way this was actually happening. Elliot had dreamt of this moment before with her but it was never this good. It was just a simple kiss; there wasn't even any tongue! But there was something about kissing his best friend that just set his heart on fire.

He had been wrong before.

This was the moment he had been waiting for his entire life.

E

O

**May 30, 1981**

"We have over twenty clubs and a campus senate here on campus," the Siena College ambassador was telling them. "And there is also the Student Events Board that organizes the dances, charity week, parent's weekend, and so forth."

"What kind of sports do you offer?" Elliot questioned. He and Olivia were walking hand and hand as they followed the ambassador around the campus.

"Well, we don't have a football team if that's what you were wondering," the man said with a sympathetic look on his face. "We have everything else but football for both males and females."

"So you do have cross-country?" Olivia confirmed. The man nodded. "What about swimming?"

"Swimming and diving," the man nodded again.

Olivia smiled over at Elliot who just smiled and shook his head. They had a bet going. Elliot had bet her that the school wouldn't have any of her favorite high school sports because it was an "artsy" school, as he had called it. Elliot said she wouldn't be happy without her constant exercise and would have to go to school in the city where Columbia offered her sports and so she was just a little bit closer to him.

"You owe me dinner," she whispered to him happily.

"Yeah, yeah," Elliot grumbled. He gently pushed her smiling face away. She only laughed. "Shut up."

The ambassador interrupted their quiet joking.

"Do you have any questions?"

Olivia, still chuckling, answered. "No, I think we'll just walk around some, but thank you."

"All right, well if you guys need me, I'll be in the Welcome Center. You have the map still, right?"

After confirming that they wouldn't get lost, Elliot and Olivia were on their own. They strolled leisurely; they had all afternoon. They had already seen most of the buildings on the large campus. Ahead of them was the library. It was the largest building on campus with three floors of books and studying space in it. Next to it on the left were a series of dorm rooms, mostly for incoming students and sophomores. If Olivia chose Siena, she would most likely be in one of the three buildings. The cafeteria was next to the dorms on the right. The campus was spacious with trees and empty expanses of grass all over for those students who liked to study outdoors.

"So what do you think so far?" Elliot asked his girlfriend. Even he had to admit that the school was pretty nice. It offered great programs and sports. Plus, the air was easier to breath and it was far away from Serena.

"I like it," she responded with a smile. Despite his thoughts, Elliot's face still fell. He had still been hoping she would choose Columbia.

While he was away at Parris Island in South Carolina, he would be thirteen hours away from Olivia while she was still in the city. Granted, he didn't know where he would be after basic training, but it was four hours from the city to Siena. He knew their professional lives and choices would always keep them apart but their romantic relationship was still so new.

Olivia had seen his fallen expression. She stopped in her tracks and stepped closer to Elliot.

"El, Columbia's nice but I think I might want to go here," she told him slowly. She framed his face between her hands. She further explained, "I've never been out of the city, El. I wanna see what it's like."

Elliot didn't say anything. He knew she would fit in great there. Also, her mom did work at Columbia. He hadn't remembered that detail before. With her grades, she would certainly be accepted when the time came to apply. He needed to let go of his fears and let her live her life at whatever college she chose. After all, she wasn't his to control.

Not getting an answer, Olivia nodded his head for him.

"'Yes, Olivia, I know you'll be happy here,'" she spoke for him. "'I'm so happy for you.'"

That succeeded in making Elliot laugh. He pulled her hands from his face and laced his fingers through hers.

"You know I'm happy for you," he said. She nodded that she did. He leaned forward and kissed her briefly. "It's just so far away."

"Elliot, it's four hours from the city," she laughed. "And there is this thing called a telephone."

"I know but I'm going to miss you. You're too far away when you're at your apartment even."

"Trust me, I know that feeling," Olivia agreed. "But we both have to go out and live our lives. And with our careers, we may never be in the same place for long."

"And think of how great it'll be once we finally see each other after a long time apart, too?" Elliot added with a leer. He hugged her closer as a smile spread across her face. He groaned, "Why are you always the logical one?"

Olivia chuckled. "Because I'm the girl. Now come on. I'm hungry."

E

O

His hand ran up the outside of her thigh, enticing a moan from her. He ran his hand back and forth slowly for a moment, relishing in the softness of her smooth skin. He dug his fingers into her flesh, wanting to feel more of her. Her loud moan and gasp that it produced didn't hurt his ego either. He pressed his body further into hers as he rolled them over so he was almost all the way on top of her. Her hands were roaming through his dark brown hair, and oddly it was reminding him to get his hair cut. But he pushed that thought to the back of his mind as her tongue met his for the umpteenth time.

Olivia slowly ran her hands down the length of his bare back. She had seen him shirtless a few times before they started dating and a few more times once they started dating, but it was still rare when she got to run her hands over his naked flesh. Every time, it sent a little thrill through her. Her heart started beating faster and her breath came a little slower. She loved feeling the muscles beneath her fingers. He had started working out more to be better prepared for boot camp. Over the months, she had run with him daily and worked out with him at the gym while she watched his physique change. At the time, she was a little sad. He looked perfect to her anyway. But now, feeling him very intimately pressed up against her, she was more than grateful for all of his hard work at the gym.

His hand roaming to her backside caused her to squeal. "Elliot!" she giggled. He was the only one who had ever caused her to act so… giddy. She felt him smile against her skin as he trailed kisses down the left side of her face to her neck. She felt his teeth scrape along her neck. "No marks, El. I don't need to explain that to my mother."

"Yeah, I know," he grumbled. He feathered soft kisses over the pulse in her neck. "I can't wait until I _can_ leave a mark."

"Well, by then, I won't be living with my mom and I won't have any objections," she promised.

His eyes met hers in the darkness. His face slowly inched closer to hers. Her hands framed his face, her fingers outlining his ears. Blue eyes blazed into her brown ones as they stared at one another. He could feel her heart racing under him.

"Good," he whispered. She leaned up and captured his bottom lip between her teeth sensuously. He groaned in frustration at the slowness of her actions, but it was driving him crazy. Everything about her drove him crazy. Everything about her was just so… sexy. It was funny. When he first met her, he thought she was a little tomboyish but still kind of cute. That had all changed when he saw her the next year at the homecoming dance. She had looked absolutely gorgeous in her red strappy dress. Her hair had been done up in curls and she had even put make-up on for once. Her dress had only hit her legs mid thigh and her shoulders had been bare. She had later told him her mother had no idea she had even bought that dress. He had been ready to break up with Kathy right then and there. He was also fairly positive that was the exact moment he realized he had developed feelings for his best friend.

After several slow kisses, Olivia pulled back to look at him again. Her arms had wrapped around his shoulders to effectively pull his upper body closer to hers. "I love you," she murmured against his lips.

She always enjoyed the slow smile that graced his face every time she told him that.

"And I love you," he whispered just as softly. With one last kiss to her lips, he continued on his road of exploration.

His lips made their way down her body, stopping and watching her reaction for her permission first. Her shirt, his shirt really, was still on so he placed kisses down her torso over the thin fabric. He didn't want to make her too uncomfortable so he avoided her breasts for the moment and moved down to her stomach. He knew that didn't make her uncomfortable at all. They had both had a little experience but with other people and only a few encounters. Well, at least on his part. He knew Olivia hadn't had a… fun first time. What should have been a memorable and romantic first time had actually been embarrassing and regrettable for her.

He continued to kiss her stomach over the fabric of her T-shirt while his left hand moved away from her backside and up towards the hem of her shirt. His eyes met hers for permission. Through half lidded eyes, she gave him the faintest of nods.

He inched the shirt up her torso, kissing the newly bared skin exposed to his eyes. She had opted to keep her bra on and her underwear was still on as well so she wouldn't be completely bared to his eyes. Even though he longed to see everything she had to offer, he was willing to take everything she had to offer in between then.

She lifted her arms above her head so he could remove the shirt from her body entirely. He flung the shirt to the ground, discarded without a second thought. His eyes stayed focused on hers. His fingers laced together with hers above her head, their arms outstretched against one another. She raised her head up to take his lips with hers again. His breath caught from surprise as she took control of the embrace. He would never tell her, but he loved it when she got a little rough with him.

Her right leg lifted to wrap her foot around where his knee was on the bed. She needed to feel him pressed against her. She could feel his erection pressing into her leg but forced herself to relax. It made her nervous to know how much he wanted her. She wanted him just as badly; she could feel her desire pooling.

But one bad experience was enough to put her nerves on high alert.

She could feel Elliot moving his hand down her body, along her side, and down to her thigh. She kept her attention on kissing him so she was slow to notice his hand moving to the inside of her thigh. She tried to go with it; their relationship was moving towards this. She knew it was only a matter of time. But the feel of his hand inching further and further up her thigh was causing her to hyperventilate.

"El, stop," she urged breathlessly. She moved her hands out of his and started to push him away from on top of her.

A deep growl came from the back of his throat as he shot up off of her. "Damn it, Olivia! Why do we even do any of this if you're just gonna shoot me down?" he yelled.

He removed himself from her embrace and began pacing across the floor. Olivia pulled the sheet over her scantily clad form and huddled her knees up to her chest. She bit her lip to keep her tears at bay. She could see him pacing out of the corner of her eye but she didn't know what to say to make it better.

Elliot took several deep breaths to stop himself from yelling again. He hadn't meant to yell at her. She didn't deserve it. But he was tired of the constant back and forth with them. He knew she trusted him but she would never let him take it any further.

He glanced over at her huddled on the bed. Something inside him broke at the sight of her curled up into a fetal position. Because of him.

God, he was being such a jackass.

He slowly put one foot in front of the other. "Baby, I'm sorry. I feel like such a jerk," he spoke softly to her. "I know you're not ready yet but once I get started…it's hard to stop. I don't want to stop."

Olivia sniffled from the bed. "I know. Neither do I."

Elliot continued moving closer to the bed. He set on knee on the edge and waited to see her reaction. When she didn't even flinch, he eased the rest of his weight down onto the bed and slowly lay out next to her. He gathered her body into his arms and placed a whisper of a kiss on her temple.

"Then why do you?" he wondered. "What is it? Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't know," she insisted with a strained whisper. "I don't know. I just get nervous, but it's an excited nervous, I guess."

"Then why won't you let me go any further? We don't have to do anymore than touch each other if you don't want to do anything else," he promised her.

"Because I get scared, El," she revealed, pushing him away a little. "I made a horrible mistake once by having sex with Jordan and now I can never get that "first" time back. I just want it to be special. I don't know; I think it means more to girls than it does to guys."

"That's not true," he defended. "I want it to be special, too. And Olivia," he pulled her close to him again, "our first time will be special whenever it happens."

She smiled a little. "I know. I guess…" her words were lost for a moment. "It just doesn't feel like the right time yet. It's close, just not yet."

"Well, do you want to plan something?" Elliot suggested.

"No, El, it's just supposed to happen. We can't plan it."

He nodded that he agreed. "Okay."

She settled in next to him, knowing very well their "moment" from earlier had been ruined. She pressed her cheek against his bare chest. She could hear the sound of his heartbeat through his ribcage. It was a comforting sound.

"Um, do you want me to sleep in the other bed? I don't want to make you uncomfortable." They had slept in the same bed since they had arrived, but he didn't want to make her feel obligated to stay in the same bed with him tonight.

She glanced up at him. Her look got rid of all his fears. "No, I want you to sleep next to me. It's comforting to have you next to me. You're like… my teddy bear."

"Oh, well, thank you," he said sarcastically. He reached over his side of the bed and rooted around for something on the floor.

"No, really. I never had a security object growing up but I always felt like I needed one," she confessed. "Nothing just ever really seemed suitable. Bears are cute but I didn't want one because everyone else had one. A blanket just seemed weird. I am kind of attached to my pillow but I wouldn't call it my security object."

He came back up with her T-shirt and offered it to her. She accepted it and kept on talking.

"What do you think a good security object is for me?"

He watched her slip on the T-shirt. "This shirt for one. You stole it from me last year and I always see you wearing it."

"I don't always wear it," she denied. "You just happen to be around me every time I decide to wear it."

She cuddled up next to him again, resuming her earlier position. He pulled the bedspread over them as well as the sheet. He stretched his arm out and let her use it as her pillow. His fingers threaded through her brown locks; his nails lightly scratched at her scalp to soothe her.

"I don't know. I think you're the stuffed animal type. I just don't know what type of animal yet. I'll have to get back to you on that."

"Okay," she murmured. Her arm wrapped around his waist as her legs tangled with his. The hair on his legs tickled her but she ignored it. Warmth was seeping into her limbs as sleep settled into her bones. "El?"

"What, baby?"

"I'm sleepy."

He chuckled. "Go to sleep, Liv."

"Okay."

If possible, she cuddled even closer to him while he did the same to her. She could feel the warmth of his hands on her back. She loved when he wrapped her up in his arms. She felt so safe and protected like nothing could ever harm her. Not even her mother.

The last thing that registered to her before sleep claimed her was the sound of the air conditioner humming silently in the still night.

'_I like this feeling you're giving me_

_Just hold me baby and I'm in ecstasy._

_Oh, I'll be working from nine to five_

_To buy you things to keep you by my side._

_I've never felt so in love before_

_Just promise baby you'll love me forever more._

_I swear I'm keepin' you satisfied_

'_Cause you're the one for me'_

* * *

Let me know what you guys think!


	3. Mama Do

A big thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! It always puts a smile on my face! The song 'Mama Do' is written and performed by Pixie Lott and not mine.

* * *

'_Every night I go_

_Every night I go sneaking out the door_

_I lie a little more_

_Baby, I'm helpless_

'_What would my mama do?_

_(Uh-oh Uh-oh)_

_If she knew about me and you?_

_(Uh-oh Uh-oh)'_

**June 18, 1981 8:00PM**

**Lower West Side**

Elliot observed the people on the street as he waited patiently. A woman was walking her dog, undoubtedly trying to get it to use the bathroom one last time before morning. A couple walked hand in hand down the sidewalk with the man holding a take-out box. An elderly woman was sweeping her front steps and smiling at everyone who walked past.

It wasn't the best part of town. The buildings weren't the fanciest. Some of the people were a little shady. But for the most part, everyone was friendly to whoever came around. There was always a smile on everyone's face and a greeting on their lips.

But for some, this neighborhood was a hellhole, a place to escape from but with nowhere to go. No one answered the yells and screams. No one paid attention to the sounds of bottles crashing against walls. People turned their TVs up louder while they obliviously watched the ten o'clock news every night.

The car door opening broke his thoughts.

"Sorry I took so long," Olivia said as she climbed into the car. "My mom was in the living room on the phone so I had to wait until she left the room long enough before I could leave."

She put her bag on the floor next to her before shutting the door behind her. She turned and faced Elliot with a smile on her face. He smiled at the sight of it. She leaned over the middle console and met him halfway with a kiss to his lips. He thought it was just going to be a quick 'hello' kiss so he began to pull away. Olivia had other ideas. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him back to her. She glided her lips over his for several long seconds before pulling away for air. She opened her eyes to see his confused stare. She laughed as she noticed his hands hadn't even left their spot on the steering wheel.

"Hi," she greeted at last, still chuckling at him.

The corners of his mouth slowly curved upward in a smile. "Uh, hi. What was that for?"

"I haven't seen you in three days, El," she explained as if he should have known. "That's what that was for. I missed you."

Elliot had been working extra hours for his uncle since some of the employees had been out sick with summer influenza. Normally, Elliot's shift was only from three in the afternoon until eleven at night, or midnight depending on the day. The last few days, he had been working from open to close. Elliot hadn't really minded; the extra money would really help him out. But Olivia had been going through a hard time with her mom lately. She hadn't realized how much she depended on Elliot to be there when she needed an escape from home until he wasn't there to whisk her away from it all.

"I missed you, too," Elliot expressed, patting her leg. He gave her thigh a gentle squeeze to further express his words. "We don't have to hang out with everybody tonight if you don't want to. We can do something together, just the two of us."

She smiled at the leer on his face. She knew exactly what he had in mind but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of a make out session just yet.

"No, I want to see everybody," she concluded. "I promised Lucy we'd hang out."

"Okay." Elliot started the car and put it in drive. "Just tell me if you want to leave and we'll go hang out or do something else, okay?"

Olivia sighed. He always did this when he wanted her to tell him about the trouble with her mom. "El, I'm fine. I just want to hang out with our friends and forget about everything shitty in my life, okay?"

He waited for a car to pass before pulling out into the street. He shrugged his shoulders in an innocent gesture. "What, I didn't say anything. All I said was…"

"I know what you said, Elliot." Olivia took a deep breath. She softened her tone. "Look, I'll tell you when I'm ready. You don't understand it anyway."

"But I want to understand, Liv. I want you to help me understand," he explained, approaching a stop light. He glanced over at her but she was staring out the window. Great, now she was going to hate him for the rest of the night. He just didn't understand why even though her mother caused her so much pain, Olivia still continued to defend and love her mother. If he had been in her shoes, he would have left long ago. The military would have accepted him; they were always looking for able bodies. Maybe Olivia simply felt obligated to stay with her mom. The bottom line was that he simply didn't know why she put up with everything. But he wanted to know and understand. If she would ever tell him.

"Look, I'm sorry," Elliot finally said, apologizing for his hidden agenda. He put his hand over her thigh again. "I promise I won't bring it up again until you're ready to tell me, all right?"

Olivia sat quietly in her seat and for a moment, Elliot thought he was going to get the silent treatment all night. The last thing he needed was all of their friends wondering why they weren't talking or even sitting next to one another. Their friends always joked around saying that Elliot and Olivia were the perfect couple. They were hardly ever seen fighting and they seemed glued at the hip sometimes. His friend Shayne always joked that it was like they were already married.

Just as he was about to pull his hand away, he felt her fingers lace through his. But he was not expecting what she said next.

"The light's green."

He looked up and sure enough, the light was green. He accelerated quickly before the driver behind him could honk. Well, she had at least spoken to him. And she was touching his hand. Maybe she would forgive him before they got to the park. He could only take so much of the silent treatment before he was practically groveling at her feet, begging her to forgive him.

"El, I will tell you eventually," Olivia finally spoke. She squeezed his hand but didn't move her eyes from the passing scenery. Bright lights passed before her eyes; the images of gray building after gray building blurring together after a while. "It's just… I feel like if I tell you everything, then it'll all become real. You know?"

"Yeah, but don't you think it'll be good to let everything out?" he pointed out to her.

She finally looked over at him. The look on her face was one of puzzlement. "When did you become this guy?"

He looked over at her. "What guy?"

"This guy that wants to talk about feelings."

He smiled. "When I started dating you."

He was still looking at her so she had to fight to keep her smile hidden. Elliot always liked to put up the front that he was the tough guy, but Olivia knew otherwise. Deep down, she knew he was just a giant teddy bear that needed to love and be loved.

"Well, stop it," she joked. "You're starting to freak me out."

His loud laugh was enough to cause the edges of her mouth to turn upwards in a smile.

E

O

"Did we really come to the park just to watch the guys play catch?" Lucy asked the group while they sat on some rocks in the North Meadow.

"No, we came to the park to hang out because pretty soon, half of us will be going our separate ways," Olivia reminded her friend, watching as Elliot threw the football back to his friend Kyle.

"Right," Lucy drew out. She watched as Olivia stared at Elliot. She rolled her eyes at her friend. There was a good and bad side with Elliot and Olivia as a couple. The bad side was that more often than not, their eyes were always on one another when they were in the same vicinity. They didn't always have to sit next to one another but if the other so much as moved a finger to scratch an itch, the other's eyes followed. The good side was that they both smiled more; they were both happier, more bearable to be around.

Lucy pinched Olivia's arm to get her attention.

Olivia snapped her head over to the source. "Ow," she expressed, giving Lucy a dirty look.

"Well, stop looking at Elliot for five minutes and pay attention to me, then."

"You haven't said anything for me to pay attention to," Olivia told her, rubbing her arm.

"I would have if you weren't busy staring at Elliot."

"Would you both just shut up?" their friend Melissa practically yelled over. "I can't concentrate."

Melissa was the artist of the group, her sketch pad the constant reminder of that. She was always carrying it with her everywhere and today was no exception. She was focusing on drawing Kyle and Elliot throwing the football around. If she liked it enough, she would use it for her art class in college.

"Hey, Liv, you're in my art class next semester, right?" Lucy wondered.

"Yeah, and you're going to have to help me," she begged. "I suck at drawing but I need an art credit."

"You don't suck at drawing," Melissa tried to assure her. "You just need a little help."

"Which is just a nice way of saying you suck," a voice said from behind them. The group turned around to see their friend Shayne approaching the group. Lucy jumped up from her spot next to Olivia to be the first to greet Shayne. She had always had a bit of a crush on Shayne but had never had the courage to tell him she liked him. Her time was running out, though. Shayne had graduated alongside Elliot and was going to Columbia in the fall. Lucy was stuck with Olivia and Kyle in high school for their senior year.

"Hey, Shayne, I'm glad you made it," Lucy greeted, walking up to him.

"I got stuck at work but I hurried over here as soon as my boss let me off," he explained, giving Lucy a brief hug. He thought she was cute but he didn't want to be tied down to one woman at this stage in his life. He had college life in front of him, after all.

He walked over to the rocks the group was sitting on and sat on the rock with Olivia, taking Lucy's spot. Shayne would never tell Elliot but he had always had a crush on Olivia. But he valued his life far more than ever telling Olivia, so he settled with just being friends with her. Besides, it was only a little crush and he couldn't wait to meet all the other fish in the sea once he went to college.

"Hey, Olivia," he greeted his friend. "How's life?"

Olivia laughed. Sometimes she wondered why she was friends with Shayne; their views were so different sometimes. But then he would do something stupid or say something crazy and she would remember why he was one of her good friends.

"It's not great but I'm alive," she answered.

"Ooh, trouble in paradise?" he teased, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey," Elliot called over. The two glanced up at him. He threw the football to Shayne, who fumbled to catch it. "You'll stop hitting on my girl if you know what's good for you."

The smile on Elliot's face showed that he was only joking, but Shayne knew from firsthand experience that Elliot would follow through on his threat.

Olivia grabbed the football from Shayne and threw it back at Elliot. "He's just confirming our date for tomorrow night," she joked with a straight face. "I told you I was seeing Shayne on the side, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Shayne played along. He slid his arm all the way around her shoulders just as Elliot threw the football back at Olivia. "I was going to take her on a romantic boat ride. Maybe bring her some flowers, too."

"She likes geraniums."

Olivia huffed and hurled the football towards Elliot's stomach. He grunted and doubled over with a sputtering cough. Their friends laughed behind Olivia. Shayne's arm fell from her shoulders as she stood. She picked up the football from the ground where it had fallen.

"Jerk; I was joking." She was trying to keep her face serious but it was getting harder, especially when Elliot started laughing.

"So was I," he laughed. He put his hands on his knees so he could look at her. Her smile was starting to show but she caught herself and forced herself to have a straight face. She did that several times and almost had a hold on herself. Until he stuck his tongue out at her, that was. Olivia lost it. Her musical laugh filled Elliot's ears with a tune he could listen to all day; her contagious smile was unleashed on his eyes. He put his arms around her shoulders and drew her into him. Their friends looked at each other like the pair was crazy.

"Do you ever get the feeling they're in their own little world?" Shayne asked the group.

"Yeah," Lucy said somewhat dreamily, watching the pair in question. "But I think it's cute."

E

O

"Liv, why are you playing football with the guys?" Melissa complained. "You're supposed to be hanging out with us girls."

Olivia threw the football to Shayne. "Because it's fun. Because it's relaxing. Because I want to. Take your pick."

"Come on," Lucy whined. "Hang out with us."

"Guys," Olivia chuckled, "I can only talk about Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney for so long. I don't care about either one of them and we did ask you to join us, you know."

"Yeah," Elliot joined in, catching the football. "Catching a football isn't going to break your nails, girls."

"Shut up, Elliot," Lucy yelled over. She watched as Olivia caught the ball with ease. She would have joined but she didn't want to make a fool of herself in front of Shayne. "Come on. Besides, Kyle's back with the booze."

"Yes!" Shayne practically shouted for joy. With a quick toss of the ball to Elliot, he took off in a jog in the opposite direction. "Have fun, guys."

The couple looked at one another with curious expressions.

"I think we've been out voted," Elliot stated the obvious.

"Yeah," Olivia agreed. In a voice soft enough so only Elliot could hear, she said, "Why do we need liquor to have fun, again?"

He came up to her, his hand finding its way to the back of her neck. He squeezed once, soft enough that she knew he understood what she was talking about.

"We can leave if you want," he offered her an escape.

She shook her head and turned to look at him. "No, the most that happens to them is that they start telling corny jokes and laughing non-stop. It's fine."

He shut up on the subject and walked with her towards the group. They had spread some blankets around by the rocks they were already occupying. Shayne was laying on one of the blankets, his limbs all sprawled out while he listened to Melissa answer Lucy's questions. Kyle was getting the liquor out of his bag still.

Olivia took a place on the other blanket closer to the girls, wanting to be part of their conversation instead of the guy's conversation on their cars.

"How's your relationship going with Rob, Melissa?" Olivia wondered. She felt a touch on her shoulder and looked over to see Lucy offering her a bottle of rum. After a moment's hesitation, Olivia accepted the bottle and took a swig of it. She coughed as she passed the bottle on to Melissa, who took the alcohol with much more grace than Olivia had.

"It's going great. It's been six months now and while we have our moments, I think I love him," Melissa confessed. She looked over at Olivia. "When did you tell Elliot you loved him? Who said it first?"

"I did, actually," she recalled. "In March, so that was at…five months into our relationship."

"And you knew you loved him?" Lucy piped up.

Olivia nodded. "Plus, we had been best friends for about three years, too."

* * *

**March 27, 1981 4:07PM**

**Central Park**

"Hey, El, let's sit here," Olivia called out over her shoulder. "We can see the baseball game going on from here."

"All right, watch out." Olivia moved to the side while Elliot stepped up and spread the blanket he was carrying on the ground. Olivia kicked off her tennis shoes, her eyes on the pee-wee baseball game going on her right. From the scoreboard, she could see the team's names – the Little Cubs and the Little Mets. Olivia chuckled. The young boys playing looked like they were about seven or eight. She watched one step up to home plate, a bat in his hand and ready to swing away at anything that came near him. An older boy was the pitcher; he was probably one of the player's older brother and involved in little league. She watched as he winded the ball up, all for show, before gently lobbing it towards the hitter. She thought it would take the boy a few tries to hit the ball but boy, was she wrong.

"Damn, he knocked that thing out of the park," Elliot said from behind her, the amazement obvious in his voice. They watched as the ball sailed over the heads of every player standing in the outfield and landed on another baseball diamond on the left hand side. The hitter took off, running around the bases with a huge smile on his face while his parents cheered him on.

"He's got quite a swing for such a young boy," Olivia commented. "I wouldn't be surprised if he goes pro one day."

Elliot agreed as he kicked his shoes off also. With a groan, he tumbled onto the blankets, his sprawled limbs taking up most of the space. Olivia chuckled to herself while she shook her head at him.

It was a rare day in Manhattan. The harsh claws of winter had been loosened by a warm front coming in from the south, carrying the head of spring with it. The winter hadn't been too harsh; temperatures had actually been lower than average. But everyone was still grateful for the seventy degree weather. Children got to go outside to play again, saving their parents from going insane from being in such close quarters for so long. Adults were outside jogging and roller skating again. A light jacket or sweatshirt was still required for some to keep from getting too chilly, but it was a small price to pay.

The sun was out on this day with large cumulus clouds filling the sky with their various shapes. It was right before dinner time for most; school had let out a few hours ago but it was Friday so kids were out playing their numerous sports while adults got ready for a night on the town. The birds were soaring through the sky, chirping a happy song that told all they were relieved that the warm weather had returned. Squirrels scampered along the ground, stopping frequently to make sure they weren't being followed. Several people were out and about walking around the park, either cutting through on their way home or just on a leisurely stroll.

"Scoot over, blanket hog," Olivia commanded of Elliot while nudging him with her foot. He tried to grab at it several times, Olivia pulling her foot away every time, before he was successful. She screamed when he acted like he was going to yank her down onto him roughly. He laughed loudly when he reached up and managed to grab her arm, too. He pulled her down next to him, catching her body with his as she fell onto the ground.

"Jerk," she laughed, looking over at him while she settled into the crook of his arm. "Always have to do things the hard way."

"Well, I wouldn't if you weren't so difficult," he teased. He laid his head back on the blanket, using his right arm as a cushion. His left arm wrapped around Olivia's shoulders, her head pressed up against his chest. Her left hand found its way to the top of his chest, her fingers playing with the buttons on his blue button-down shirt.

"I'm only difficult because I know how much you love a challenge," she retaliated with a smug grin. Too bad he couldn't see it.

He grumbled and tightened his arm around her shoulders. "Are you warm enough? I have a sweatshirt in my car if you need it."

"No, I'm fine." She nuzzled her nose against his shirt. "You're keeping me plenty warm enough."

Her leg found its way on top of his, just resting there in an attempt to make herself more comfortable and to bring herself closer to him. Her eyes found their way to the sky, scanning the clouds for shapes of any kind. It was something she had always enjoyed doing ever since she was little. On her way from school when she was a little girl, sometimes she would stop and just look up trying to find the weirdest shapes she could. In those moments, she felt like a normal little girl who had the perfect parents and the perfect house with a dog that she would play with every day.

"Hey, look, it's a poodle," Olivia noticed of one particular cloud. It had the poof on its head and the fluffy ears. On its tail, it even had that ball that groomers shaped onto it.

"Wow, it really does look like a poodle. That has got to be a first," he chortled. He scanned the blue sky for a shape of his own. This was a favorite pastime of theirs. Often times during an outside gym class, they would find themselves looking upwards to pick out a funny shape while they ran. Once, Elliot had pointed out a dinosaur/chicken/lizard shaped cloud and given a ridiculous commentary as he explained to her what it was. It had resulted in Olivia almost running into a trashcan but it had been worth it.

"That one looks like a kangaroo," Olivia pointed out to their right.

Elliot gazed over to their left. "I see a face in that one."

Olivia glanced over to where he pointed. She scrunched up her nose. "How do you see a face in that one?"

Elliot used his index finger to point it out to her. "There's the bushy hair. There's the nose and there's the chin. How do you not see the face?"

"Because it's not there. That is a turkey."

Elliot looked at the shape again. "A turkey?" he wondered, incredulous.

"Yeah, a turkey sitting down." It was her turn to illustrate for him. "There are the tail feathers all bushed out. There's the body, a little skinny but it's still early in the season. And there's the head with the beak."

Elliot gave it a second look. Sure enough, there is was. Damn.

"Yeah, all right," he reluctantly agreed. "But I still say it's a face."

Olivia laughed, her stomach bouncing from the effort. Her arm wrapped around the expanse of his chest as she pulled herself tighter into him. She tilted her head up to look at his face. He had a little stubble on his chin that she could see. It just screamed for her hand to reach out and touch it. Before she knew it, her hand was running over his face in a gentle caress. He turned his eyes to hers, smiling when he saw her smile. Her hand ran up the length of his nose and over his forehead.

"I still can't believe you cut your hair," she told him, running her hands through his now short brown hair. He had decided to go ahead and get a crew cut, knowing the military would just do it for him when he got to boot camp. This was, he prepared his friends and family with the new look.

"You still like it, don't you?"

"Of course I do," she reassured him. She ran her hand over his head. "I still think it's incredibly sexy."

Elliot grinned. "Just wait until I get the uniform. Then I'll be irresistible to you."

She dragged her hand over his face in a silly gesture. "You're already irresistible to me," she murmured near his ear. She kissed his ear lobe and shrieked with joy when he rolled over suddenly and started peppering her face with kisses. Her arms snaked their way over his shoulders as she enjoyed the feel of his warm body pressed against hers. She loved being with him this way. They could be themselves when they were around each other. She could be silly and goofy and stupid with him and she knew he would never judge her. She could cry on his shoulder and he wouldn't call her a weepy female. She could yell at him when she was mad and he would sit there calmly and take it or shout back at her until the subject was resolved. She could cuddle up with him for hours and not have to say anything. She could stuff her face with food in front of him knowing he was doing the exact same thing. She could talk about and enjoy sports with him and the guys and not be told to shut up and simply look pretty while they talked. She could tell him about her dreams of being a cop and he wouldn't call her incapable and out of her element.

She returned the kisses he was now peppering on her lips, returning each and every one with equal passion. Her fingers traced invisible patterns up the back of his neck and into his hair. She scratched lightly on his scalp, something she had discovered he liked just last month. She could feel her heart constricting with joy, with love, with happiness just waiting to burst.

"Hey, El?" she said in between kisses.

"Yeah?"

She continued to return his kisses, not speaking right away. Should she…? Was it too soon? Would he…? Would anything…?

"I love you."

Elliot paused mid kiss, his lips poised above hers. His ears must have been clogged. No way did she just tell him she loved him. They'd never told one another that before. He knew he felt that way but he had no idea she did, too. Every day with her was…uplifting. He could let go when he was around her. He didn't have to be so stoic with her. He could be a gentleman but she wouldn't get upset if he didn't hold the door open for her. He could play sports with her and he didn't have to let her win; although they were highly competitive with one another. He could talk honestly with her about his fears. Once she hounded him enough, at least. He could watch chick flicks with her and she wouldn't laugh at him when he got caught up in the plot.

It suddenly occurred to him he hadn't said anything in a while. She was looking up at him with such a wide eyed expression. He could see the fear hidden in her eyes, thinking he didn't love her back.

He kissed her once. "I love you, too."

Olivia released a heavy sigh of relief and let a smile spread across her face. She pulled him down to her again and kissed him deeply. Her lips glided effortlessly over his, no longer aware of her surroundings. The world could have been ending around her, lava spewing about and the ground cracking beneath her, but it wouldn't have mattered. Not when she had all she needed right there in her arms.

All her life she had felt like nobody loved her. Here, with Elliot, she knew she had found the love of her life.

* * *

**June 18, 1981 Midnight**

**Lower West Side**

Elliot put the car in park and shut the engine off. Olivia reached for the door handle but didn't pull on it just yet. Her eyes followed the numerous windows up the building until she found the ones that belonged to her apartment. Her hope that her mother wasn't home faded when she saw a faint light coming from her mother's window. She gave a loud sigh and leaned back into her seat, closing her eyes.

"Mom home?" Elliot guessed, leaning over her to look up at the apartment building's windows. Sure enough, the lights were on. So much for him walking her to her door.

"Yeah, she is." She rolled her head over to look at him. "Is it wrong that I wish she was at a bar getting drunk?"

He chuckled. "A little, but I understand where you're coming from," he sympathized. His face was only inches away from hers and she couldn't help that her eyes kept lowering to his lips. They were just begging for her to touch them, to bite, to kiss, to caress. Her eyes travelled upwards to his eyes, which to her surprise were staring straight into her own. "Busted," those lips uttered in a low, husky tone.

She smiled shyly and tried to hide her face in the seat. Her hair fell in her eyes but he brushed it aside in his attempts to pepper her face in kisses. His mission was to make her laugh but if he got a few sensual kisses along the way, then he was fine with that, too. She giggled while she continued to evade his lips.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to stare?" Elliot laughed out, his fingers finding their way to her chin. He pulled her eyes to his and saw the laughter dancing in them.

"No, she didn't," Olivia shot back. "But your mother should have taught you to keep your eyes solely on a girl's face when she's talking to you."

His eyes inadvertently fell to her chest. Her index finger pushed his chin back up so he was looking in her eyes. They stared at one another, both trying to keep a straight face as brown met blue. She made a goofy face so he would crack a smile and break first. She saw the corner of his mouth turn upward just slightly before he caught it and forced it back down. He did this a few times while she changed the face she was making before his smile was forced from him. His hand moved from the dashboard to her hip. His fingers slid under the hem of her green tank top and up the slope of her lower back.

"I can't help it," Elliot explained. His eyes roamed over her figure. "You look good in that tank top, Liv."

She rolled her eyes at the dreamy look on his face but inside she had to fight back a large grin. Butterflies flew around wildly in her stomach. He always managed to make her feel beautiful when he made comments like that, no matter the look on his face.

"Thank you," she said, her face leaning closer to his and her fingers finding the waistband of his jeans. "Now, shut up and kiss me."

"Gladly," he murmured against her lips. He nipped at her pink lips, catching a hint of the lip gloss she had been wearing earlier. He was surprised to feel her tongue reach out to meet his. Normally he was the one who initiated it, but lately she had been taking the initiative when it came to their romantic endeavors. He felt one of her hands push his head closer to hers and he eagerly obliged. He managed to get both of his hands under her tank top, his rough hands running up and down the long length of her back, occasionally tangling in the strap of her bra before resuming his path. Her tongue licked at his lips, sending a shiver down his spine. She felt it and smiled against his lips.

Her hand lazily moved along his leg, her short fingernails scraping along the denim. She hesitated for a moment before moving her hand along the inside of his thigh. She could tell he wasn't focused on her actions because the last time she had tried this, he had tensed up and had to walk around for a half an hour. Her fingers collided with the large bulge in his pants, palming him and squeezing gently. She heard a strangled noise come from him as his hips jumped back away from her. His lips pulled away from hers with a smack. She noticed he was breathing heavily from his nostrils, hot puffs of air chilling her moist lips. He didn't take his hands off of her yet, though.

"You, uh, you'd better get up there before it gets any later," he tried to tell her, his eyes not meeting hers. His hormones were going into overdrive. She had never done that before. The last time she had tried, he had freaked out when she got to his inner thigh. He'd had to push her away before he lost it right there.

"I'm already late. I'm in no hurry," she told him lazily, her eyes watching him. He was still breathing heavily, getting his control back. She used her hand to pull his face back to her, drawing his eyes to hers. She placed a kiss on his unsuspecting lips and smirked at him. "Problem?"

He laughed at her cockiness. "No," he informed her. He smoothed a finger along her lower lip. "But I will not be held responsible for my actions in the next few minutes."

She playfully pushed his head away, a sarcastic laugh coming from her lips.

"You think I'm kidding?" he questioned rhetorically, glancing over at her. His face was serious but his eyes were laughing. "I'm serious. Get ready; I'm about to jump you."

"Maybe next time. I'm on a schedule," she dead panned. His jaw dropped. She laughed, a deep belly laugh, and kissed his cheek. "God, you're so easy, El."

He huffed and leaned down to kiss her. She accepted his open mouth kiss and slid her hand to the collar of his black polo shirt. He had it unbuttoned as far as it would go so she slid her hand inside and brushed it against the light hair he had on his chest. His hand slid along the expanse of her leg, thoroughly enjoying the fact that she had on some short shorts. His lips trailed a path from her jaw to her neck, suckling lightly so as not to leave a mark.

"I made an appointment at the clinic by Columbia."

He pulled away, his mouth wide open and his eyes panicky. "Why? What's wrong?" he asked in a rush.

She gave a breathy chuckle. "Nothing. I'm going to talk to them about birth control pills," she explained, patting his cheek with a gentle palm. "I have to go somewhere where I can pay for it with my own money. Insurance won't pay for it because if I got it from my doctor, I'd have to tell my mom why I need it."

He closed his mouth and licked his lips. "Oh, well, baby, you know I could just buy condoms."

"Yeah, but what if you forget to one time but we start to get busy and decide 'it's just one time, no way I'll get pregnant after one time' and then I end up getting pregnant?" she suggested hypothetically. She held up a hand in a stop gesture. "No, thank you, El. I'll just get birth control."

"Okay, but what if you forget to take your birth control?" he questioned hypothetically.

She patted his chest with a smile. "Then you'll have to always have condoms handy so we never run into a problem."

Elliot nodded. "Okay, seems fair. Have you…" He paused, unsure of how to word his question. "Does that mean your closer to being ready?"

Olivia gazed at him thoughtfully before answering. "I just want to be prepared for when it does happen. I don't want to have to worry about whether or not I'll get pregnant because we weren't careful."

Elliot coughed and shifted uncomfortably. "Do you… Is that…Do you ever think about…having kids?" He coughed nervously. "With me?"

"That… is really a conversation for another day."

E

O

Olivia winced as the front door squeaked as she tried to ease it closed as quietly as possible. Of all the times for it to squeak, it had to be now. The entire walk up the stairs, Olivia had been praying her mother was already asleep, that she had accidently left the lights on. Surely the pillows Olivia had arranged on her bed looked just like her and Serena had been none to wiser.

Olivia crept slowly along the floor, turning the kitchen light off on her way. She took in the clean kitchen, something it never was unless Olivia did it. But maybe Serena had gotten into a cleaning mood and decided to tidy up. She side stepped into the kitchen, grabbed a glass from the cabinet above the stove, and poured herself a drink of water from the faucet. She enjoyed it leisurely despite Elliot waiting outside for her to turn her light on so he would know she arrived safely.

She had left him hanging for an answer to his question but he had kind of sprung it on her. She had never really thought about having kids before but she knew with great certainty that she did not want to get pregnant before she even got a chance to accomplish her career goals. It was too important to her to become a cop, to help people and get the scum of the earth off the streets.

But kids with Elliot wasn't such a bad idea. She had no doubt that their kids would be absolutely adorable. His eyes, her coloring, their hair.

However, it was all a thought for another day.

Olivia rinsed the glass when she was done and set it in the sink. She turned slowly, trying to keep her flip flops quiet, when her heart suddenly dropped all the way to the floor.

"Mom!"

Olivia winced and quickly closed her eyes when Serena turned on the overhead lights.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Serena asked in a low voice, arms crossed and dressed for bed.

"Um…late?" Olivia stalled. She opened her eyes to see Serena staring back at her looking ill amused.

Serena took a step closer to her daughter. "It is nearly twelve thirty in the morning. I thought you had gone to bed hours ago. But then I realized, you never go to bed so early, not even when you have school. So I think you might not be feeling well. I go into your room, touch your shoulder to ask if you're feeling all right, and surprise! You had molded your pillows to look like you're sleeping."

Olivia remained silent. Her eyes had found the linoleum tile of the floor.

"What the hell were you thinking, Olivia?" Serena demanded to know. "Do you know how worried I have been waiting for you to come home?"

Olivia's eyes snapped up to her mother's, fiery anger showing through. "No, I wouldn't know because most of the time you never seem to care that I exist," Olivia all but yelled at her mother.

Serena's mouth dropped open, from the shock of it or the truth of it Olivia couldn't tell.

"I care greatly for you, Olivia," Serena murmured, her anger lessening.

"Yeah? Well, then you should show it more often," Olivia bit back sharply. "How long did it take you to notice I was missing? A couple hours?"

"I noticed as soon as I was done with my phone call, which is when I'm guessing you snuck out."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, it was."

Mother and daughter stared at one another, Olivia with anger and Serena with concern. She didn't want her daughter to go down a destructive path, not that she thought Olivia was but still. She didn't know her daughter's friends and that bothered her. She had no idea who Olivia was around on a daily basis.

"Who were you with tonight?" Serena asked quietly, her eyes never leaving Olivia's.

"My friends," she answered with no hesitation.

Serena's blue eyes stared into her daughter's brown ones, trying to find the lie in her words.

"Don't lie to me, Olivia. Were you with a boy?"

Olivia scoffed. "I'm not lying. I was with my friends this whole time." She still wasn't lying; Elliot was her best friend and they had been friends before they started dating.

Serena only shook her head. She stepped closer to Olivia until they were within an arm's distance of one another. "I don't want you making foolish decisions..."

"I'm not doing anything stupid but even if I was, it's my choice and it's my life," Olivia interrupted. She stood her ground, arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

Then it happened.

Olivia's heart started beating faster when her mother leaned forward and sniffed the air around Olivia. Her breath grew shallow and she silently prayed her mother wouldn't smell the liquor on her breath. But when she saw Serena's eyes grow wide, she knew she had.

"Have you been drinking tonight?"

Olivia's eyes dropped to the floor and Serena had her answer. She exhaled loudly, her hands going to her hair and running her fingers through it. That was not what she wanted for her daughter.

"Are you out of your mind, Olivia?" Serena yelled at her daughter.

"You're one to talk," Olivia began to say when Serena's palm connected with her cheek. Olivia and Serena stood there shell shocked. Olivia's own palm went to her cheek while Serena's went to cover her mouth. Olivia felt her cheek stinging from the impact of Serena's palm, a feeling she had never wanted to feel again. Her breathing quickened from her anger, debating whether or not to fight back. In the end, it just wasn't worth it.

"Olivia, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that," Serena apologized, her arms reaching out for her daughter. Olivia moved quickly out of her mother's path.

"Yeah, you never mean to do it, don't you?" she said sadly. She moved at a near run to the door, bolting out of it and down the hall as fast as her long legs would carry her. She bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt to ignore the burning side of her face.

"Olivia, wait!" she heard her mother call out from behind her. She ignored her and ran down the stairs as fast as she could.

She had sworn this wouldn't happen again. After their fight two years ago, Serena had promised she would never lay a hand on her again. Olivia had actually believed her. She felt so stupid now. She should have known.

She saw Elliot's car still parked there and choked back a sob at the sight of her boyfriend.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Elliot asked, starting to get out of the car. "You never turned your lights on."

Olivia jumped into the car before he could get both legs out of the vehicle. "Drive," she commanded tearfully.

Elliot's brow furrowed with concern. "What happened? Why's your cheek red?"

"Don't ask questions, Elliot. Just drive," she commanded again. Softer, she added, "Please drive."

Elliot hesitated for a moment before pulling his leg back into the car and complying with his girlfriend's wishes. He peeled away so fast the tires squealed loudly in the quiet night air. He didn't even look in his rear-view mirror. If he had, he would have seen Serena stepping foot on the sidewalk looking around frantically for her daughter.

Serena had taken off after Olivia as soon as she had come to her senses. She couldn't let Olivia get far; she didn't want to lose her daughter for good after her mistake. She had promised she wouldn't harm her daughter anymore. She had promised.

Running down the stairs as fast as she was able wasn't good enough. She looked around for any sign of Olivia, scanning left then right. She looked on the opposite side of the street but saw nothing but the empty night. At the end of the street, her eyes were glued to the brake lights of a car. In her heart, she knew Olivia was in that car.

Her chest heaved as she sucked in a large gulp of air. Why had she slapped her daughter? Of all the horrible things she could do, she had to do the one thing she promised her daughter she would never do again. She would give all she had to turn back the hands of time and undo what she did. What she wouldn't give for a bottle of vodka right now. At least the vodka would make the hurt she was feeling numb all around.

Should she go after her daughter? Was she safe with whoever she was with? Was she happy elsewhere? Was she just making Olivia's life worse by being her mother?

Serena sighed and turned back to the front door of the apartment building.

'_Why should I feel ashamed?_

_Feeling guilty at the mention of your name_

_Here we are again_

_It's nearly perfect_

'_What would my mama do?_

_(Uh-oh Uh-oh)_

_If she knew about me and you?_

_(Uh-oh Uh-oh)'_


	4. Slide Show

The song 'Slide Show' is property of T.I. and not mine. I hope everyone is still with me!

* * *

_'Don't forget that impossible is nothing_

_Your environment's irrelevant  
Just don't let your emotions overpower your intelligence  
Refuse to give up; your mistakes don't define you  
They don't dictate where you're headed, they remind you  
The time keeps ticking, let your mind keep clicking  
Never stop thinking, be aware of your decisions  
And be aware of the collisions and the potholes sitting  
On the road that you travel on your life long mission  
Just listen every day is like a snapshot taken  
If you live, you can learn to have faith, be patient'_

**June 30, 1981 6:21PM**

**Benson Apartment**

"Are you sure I can't come over?" Elliot whined in her ear as Olivia moved about her kitchen.

"Yes, El, I'm sure," she smiled at him through the phone. "She said she was going to be home late but she hasn't been drinking much lately so that could mean she'll be home at any time."

"I'll chance it," Elliot said bravely. "I can finally meet her face to face and she'll fall in love with me."

Olivia chuckled. She put the phone in between her shoulder and the side of her face while she reached down to empty the dishwasher. She gathered the ceramic plates in one hand and set them on the countertop. "You are not meeting her until hell has frozen over and pigs are flying through it."

"Liv, I'm gonna meet her eventually because I have no intention of giving you up anytime soon."

Her heart melted a little at that. "I know; I'm not giving you up either," she murmured quietly into the phone. She ran a hand through her short, shoulder length hair. "But I want to wait until she isn't drinking anymore so I know she won't go off the deep end. She didn't like it when I was going out with James and she's not going to like that I'm going out with you."

"That was different," Elliot reminded her. "James was one of her students. I'm not and I'm only a year older than you. You made a dumb mistake but you've matured a little more since then. I don't see what the big deal is. "

She could tell by the sound of his voice that he was becoming frustrated with her reasons why she didn't want him to meet her mom yet. Her mom's drinking was a large part of it but another part of it that she hadn't told him about was that she didn't want to let her mother in on her happiness. Elliot was only in the city for another six weeks. She didn't want to share him with anyone else in between now and then. She wanted to be selfish for once in her life.

"The big deal is that when she found out about James, she started drinking heavily again," Olivia revealed. "I told you, she hasn't been drinking as much and she's been home more and actually talks to me these days. I'd like to have a relationship with my mother first before she knows about my own relationships."

Elliot sighed on the other side. She made sense but he wished she would just tell her mother already. But if her mother knowing about him was going to cause her to drink, which would in turn cause her to possibly beat Olivia, then he didn't want that. He didn't want Olivia to have to worry about anything except how to spend as much time with him as possible. He couldn't exactly judge, as it were anyway. She still hadn't met his mom, and as far as he was concerned, she was never going to meet his dad.

"Yeah, okay," he reluctantly agreed. He stretched out on his bed. The house was his for the night. His brothers were out on dates. His mom was visiting her sister in Long Beach, New Jersey. He never knew where his dad was these days.

"Besides, I thought you weren't giving me up anytime soon?" Olivia reminded.

He smirked. "I'm not."

"So you'll have plenty of time to finally meet her."

He heard the smile in her voice. She did have a point there.

"Well, if I can't come over there, how about you come over here?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Elliot," she warned.

"What?" he said innocently.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," she recited.

"But I want to see you," he whined. She could practically see the pouty look on his face.

She continued putting dishes away, sorting through the silverware this time. He could hear the clank of it through the ear piece. "And I want to see you but we agreed that we would spend at least one night a week apart to better prepare ourselves."

He groaned loudly. He ran his hand over his face. He would give anything to go back in time and take back his words. "Fine."

There was silence over the line, each having no problem being on the phone but not talking to one another. Often times, they would be on the phone for hours with one another but only speaking maybe half of that time. It was comforting to know someone else was there.

"Hey, Liv?"

"Hmm?" She started taking her groceries out of their paper bags.

"What are you wearing?"

She laughed loudly, almost dropping the package of chicken that was in her hands. He always caught her off guard with that.

"I'm wearing clothes, Elliot. Just like always." This was part of their game. He would ask her what she was wearing and, at first, she wouldn't tell him anything. But eventually, he would wear her down and she would play his game.

"Come on, Olivia," he cajoled. "What kind of clothes?"

Olivia looked down at her attire. She was barefoot and had on blue jeans that hugged her legs. She had on an old navy blue sweatshirt she had stolen from Elliot during a chilly day in school. It was too big for her and hung off one of her shoulders but it was soft and warm.

"I am wearing blue clothes."

"Liv, come on," he grumbled.

"Did you ever stop and think that maybe these blue clothes are what I wear under my clothes?"

She heard silence from the other end and had to smile to herself. She knew she had finally beaten him at his own game. She did a happy dance around the kitchen, her arms moving in a circle away from her body as her hips followed.

"You still there, El?" she asked when she settled down. She heard a strangled affirmative from the other side and smiled wider. _Sucker, _she thought.

He cleared his throat and tried to sound suave. "Describe 'em for me, Liv."

His voice came out more throaty and turned on than suave. She rolled her eyes. What she did for her hot and bothered boyfriend out of love.

"Well, they're blue," she began slowly. She switched ears with the phone. She listened around her for a moment. The last thing she needed was her mother sneaking up behind her while she was describing her underwear to her boyfriend. She heard some footsteps out in the hall, but she paid no mind to them. It was probably just her neighbor. She glanced at the clock. Six-thirty – same time her neighbor always came home. She returned her focus to Elliot. She tried to make her voice as soft and seductive as possible while she said, "And there just might be a little black lace along the edges."

Elliot gulped on the other end, his throat suddenly as dry as the Atacama Desert. His hand gripped the pillow on his bed tightly, so tight his knuckles were turning white. His jeans were growing uncomfortable from his erection but he didn't move. He would at least give her the respect of waiting until he was off the phone with her before he relieved his tension. He focused on the sound of Olivia's words and the image of her in his brain.

"Keep going," he whispered, unable to speak any louder.

The footsteps in the background grew louder until the next thing she knew she was listening to the jangle of keys right outside her door. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest while her face flushed from the heat coursing through her. She knew it was too good to be true when her mother said she would be home late. What she should have said was she would only be a few hours late.

"Liv?" she heard Elliot question.

"I gotta go," she hurried out, running across the kitchen so she could hang up the phone in a hurry. The cord had become too tangled though so she had to spin and untangle it frantically. "My mom's home."

Elliot sat up quickly. She couldn't hang up yet. "Wait, no, just finish describing," he pleaded.

Olivia laughed. "Maybe later, you perv."

"No, come on, Liv. Please," he continued to plead.

She listened as the key finally made its way into the lock. Despite the panic she felt, it was still hard to hang up on Elliot.

"No, I have to go. I'll talk to you later," she rushed out. She started to hang up the phone when she heard his voice tell her to wait. She brought the phone back up to her ear. "What?"

"I love you," he said, his voice soft and sweet. Her heart melted a little more.

"I love you, too," she whispered. She heard the door knob turn. "But I really have to go."

She hung up quickly as she saw the door open wide. She quickly jumped back to the kitchen counter, removing the rest of the groceries while her heart thumped wildly in her chest. She tried to make herself look calm and relaxed, but she didn't know how well she was pulling that off.

She heard the door click shut and the locks move into place before she turned to look over her shoulder. Her mom was wearing the same beige pantsuit she had seen her leave in earlier and carrying her brief case. Her brown hair was put up into a bun and everything seemed in order.

"I thought you said you were going to be late," Olivia said by way of greeting. She folded up the paper bags and placed them under the kitchen sink.

Serena grinned. "Have a boy hidden away somewhere?"

Olivia couldn't help but smile at that. She knew her mom was just joking but what Serena didn't know was how right she could have been.

"No, but you had said you were going to be late so I wasn't expecting you until at least nine or ten," Olivia explained. She continued on with arranging her dinner, setting aside the cheeses she needed to slice for her pasta dish.

"The student that I was supposed to talk to never showed," Serena began to explain. She set her briefcase down on a table next to the couch before trekking into the kitchen to see what her daughter was up to. "And the meeting I was supposed to be in was cancelled so here I am. What are you up to?"

Olivia motioned to the array of food on the counter. "Making dinner," she said as if it were obvious. "I'm making some pasta with cheese, some garlic bread, and some fried chicken strips."

Serena took it all in with her blue eyes. It seemed like more than Olivia could eat alone or even more than they could eat together in one sitting. She told her daughter as much.

"I'm not going to make all of the chicken and I was going to cut the French bread in half so we'd have some leftover. I know you like French bread with your coffee in the mornings," Olivia told her mom in a small voice like she had just been scolded. "And we'll have leftovers with the pasta so if you came home late over the next few days, you'll have a meal ready."

Serena looked over at her daughter but Olivia kept her eyes on the pot she was filling with water. She set it on a burner on the stove and turned her attention to the cheeses she had to cut but still didn't look up at her mother.

She had grown up so much in what seemed like such a short amount of time. One minute, she had been in diapers and Serena hadn't known what to do. Another minute flew by and Olivia was starting school, excited to go to class everyday and learn something new. One more minute passed and Olivia was entering high school and really becoming her own person. She was a little more defiant, a little more caring, a little more beautiful. Pretty soon her baby would be going off to college. Serena knew Olivia wouldn't choose Columbia simply because she worked there. No young adult wanted to go to college where their mother worked. No young adult would want to live at home with their parents while they were supposed to be out living the best years of their life. No, she knew Olivia wanted to experience dorm life and being on her own. But Serena was nervous. Oh, she was beyond nervous. She didn't want anything bad to happen to her daughter, like it had happened to her while she had been in college. She also didn't want her daughter to do anything foolish. Numerous friends of hers in college had taken to drinking and partying every night, sleeping with any man that had crossed their path. She didn't want her daughter to do the same. However, she knew it was illogical to think her daughter would stay in every night and study instead of going to parties.

Olivia took in her mother's silence. Obviously she had something on her mind but what that was, Olivia never knew.

"Do you, uh, want to make dinner with me?" she branched out to her mom. She looked over at her with wide eyes, silently begging her mother to say yes.

Serena's heart constricted a little at her daughter's words. It was then she realized just how little time she actually spent with her daughter. She put a hand on her daughter's shoulder and patted.

"Just let me go change and I'll be right back to help."

E

O

"So what have you been up to this summer?" Serena asked her daughter over dinner. They had made a fun time of it making dinner together. They talked about nothing in particular, just little subjects about daily events around the city and the neighborhood. Olivia had actually had a great time but she knew the hard hitting topics would come while they ate.

"Just working," Olivia answered honestly. "Hanging out with some friends. Nothing major."

"Are you still working for Tom at the diner?"

Olivia took a sip of her water. "No, I quit in April because management changed and they wanted all the girls to wear really skimpy uniforms. I'm at a New York tour service for the summer right now. When school starts, I'll go back to working for Mrs. Caputo at the flower shop and I'll start walking the neighborhood dogs full time again."

"What's the tour service?"

"I go on bus and boat tours and show tourists around the city. I tell them about landmarks, about popular places to eat and shop. That kind of thing. The people there are really nice and some of them are my age."

"I didn't realize you worked at the flower shop and walked the dogs around here all while going to school," Serena commented, somewhat taken aback.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders while she cut a piece of chicken. "I like it. It keeps me busy."

Serena hadn't realized the amount of work her child did in school and out of school just to stay busy. _And away from me,_ she thought to herself.

"Well, maybe when you go away to college, you won't have to work as much," Serena hinted. She didn't want Olivia to worry about making money or keeping busy. She wanted Olivia to enjoy herself and live her life to the fullest.

Olivia chewed a piece of pasta thoughtfully. She knew her mother thought she was working too much already by the sound of her tone. But to live in New York City when she was done with college, she knew she was going to have to make a decent amount of money now before she even thought about renting her own apartment.

She chose her next words wisely. "It's nice having money and knowing I have to depend on myself a little more," she spoke slowly and deliberately, hoping nothing hurt her mother's feelings. "Besides, I'm just preparing myself for real life."

Serena had to smile at her daughter's grin. She did have a point there. She wished someone had told her how difficult real life was going to be when she was still in high school. Although, most women entering adulthood on their own for the first time didn't have a brand new baby to deal with as well. She watched as her daughter ate with a healthy appetite. Looking at her now, she noticed how beautiful her daughter was. She saw a little bit of herself in Olivia's face; their noses were the same and they had the same bone structure. But she knew that Olivia got most of her looks from her father, whoever he was. Her complexion was dark and very unlike Serena's. Her eyes were brown; none of Serena's family had brown eyes. Her thick hair was dark brown and silky smooth whereas Serena's was more blond and stringy. Her daughter was tall and all legs while Serena was a few inches shorter. She was beautiful young woman that Serena hardly knew.

"So how are your friends?" she asked out of the blue, taking a drink of her water. She watched as Olivia paused mid-bite and just looked at her.

"They're fine," she spoke slowly before she finished chewing. "Working this summer just like I am."

"Have I met any of them?"

Olivia blinked at her mom, wondering why the sudden interest in her social life. "Um, yeah. You've met Melissa once, but she's the only one."

Serena nodded. She dabbed at her mouth with her napkin before folding her hands in her lap. "Is there anyone special in your life?"

Olivia's brow furrowed. "What do you mean, like a boyfriend?"

Serena nodded. "Yes, you're an attractive young woman. I'm sure many boys think the same."

Olivia felt her palms growing sweaty under her mother's scrutiny. Now, she had to figure out how to lie her way through the rest of the conversation.

"I have guy friends, but that's about it," she fibbed. She avoided her mother's gaze and focused on the few morsels left on her plate.

Serena watched her, more than positive she was lying. She never had asked where Olivia had run off to after their fight a few weeks ago. She knew she had come from meeting her friends before coming home earlier that night, or at least she had said she was just meeting friends. But while she waited up for her daughter to come home after their shouting match, she had promised she wouldn't ask where Olivia had run off to. She had waited in bed for hours wondering what could have happened to her baby girl. She hadn't known if she was safe with a friend or lying half dead in a back alley somewhere. When she had heard the door open at 2:47 in the morning and Olivia slowly and silently creep into her bedroom, Serena had to force herself to stay put. At least her baby had come home safe, she had told herself.

"Olivia, I've been meaning to talk to you," Serena told her daughter. Olivia's hands twitched with nerves. "We haven't really talked much over the last few years."

"We haven't really talked much in general," Olivia couldn't help but blurt out.

Serena chuckled. "Yes, I suppose you're right. But I'd like to remedy that. You're growing older and I can talk to you about more subjects now than I could when you were a child."

"Yeah," Olivia drew out slowly, still trying to figure out where her mother was taking this. Her mother appeared nervous as she shifted in her seat. She placed her arms on the kitchen table to lean closer to Olivia.

"I…I'd like to get to know who you are now and ask you a few things about your life."

Olivia played with her fork on her empty plate. All her life she had wanted her mother to talk to her and this was when she finally decided to it? "Okay, what do you want to ask me?"

_Please don't ask about Elliot! Please don't ask, _she thought to herself.

"A few weeks ago," Serena began softly in her raspy voice, "when you came home late and we had that fight…"

"Yeah?" Olivia strangled out. _Oh, my god, she knows about Elliot! _

"You don't make it a habit of drinking, do you?"

Olivia's heart dropped into her stomach with relief but her anger was boiling up inside. "A little hypocritical of you, isn't it?"

She stood from the table and carried her dirty dishes to the sink. She rinsed them off before loading them into the dishwasher.

"I know; I shouldn't judge," she heard from behind her. "But I don't want you making the same mistakes I did."

Olivia whirled around. "I just had a few sips, mom. I don't drink bottles of the stuff at a time," Olivia informed her, anger in her eyes. "A few sips and I'm done. I swear."

Their eyes challenged one another for a long moment. Serena knew she had no right accusing her daughter of drinking binges when she knew damn well Olivia was a good kid. Olivia was always cleaning up after both of them, getting to school on time and receiving wonderful grades, going to work and earning a living for herself.

Serena stood, her dishes forgotten on the table, and walked over to her where Olivia stood. She took her daughter's hands in her own, focusing her eyes on them as she spoke. "I believe you. You're a wonderful human being, Olivia. I'm so sorry I haven't seen it until now. And I'm so, so sorry I hit you after I promised you that I wouldn't. I let you down."

Olivia's eyes watered at her mom's words. She bit her lip and inhaled sharply through her nose to keep from crying.

"Then stop drinking, mom," Olivia begged in a strangled voice, squeezing her hands.

Serena glanced up into her daughter's chocolate brown eyes. She knew her own eyes were equally as red from her own unshed tears. She pulled her daughter closer but not quite into an embrace yet.

"I want to," Serena confessed. She sniffled as her emotions got the best of her. She pressed her forehead against Olivia's. "I will. For you. I want to get to know my daughter."

E

O

**July 3, 1981 9:15AM**

**Morningside Park Basketball Courts**

"She said that?" Elliot asked incredulous, bouncing a basketball next to him.

"Yeah, she said that."

He passed the ball to Olivia. "Well, do you think she meant it?"

Olivia bounced the ball a few times before taking a shot at the basket. "I don't know." She watched as the basketball bounced off the rim and bounced towards Elliot. "I hope so. I want her to be the mother I never had, you know?"

It was a rhetorical question so Elliot didn't bother to say anything. He dribbled the ball a few times before taking a shot of his own. He listened as the ball went swoosh through the net but refrained from pointing it out to her. He jogged after the ball before it rolled too far away. When he turned around, he saw Olivia staring blankly at the ground. Her mind was still on the conversation she had with her mother three days ago. Today was the first Elliot was hearing about it, though.

He was glad her and her mother could be headed on the right path toward a better relationship, a real relationship. He knew Olivia longed to have a mother she could tell her deepest secrets to, but Serena had never wanted to hear what Olivia had to say. He wondered what was making her change her mind now.

"Hey, Liv, think fast!"

She turned her head quickly, hands up like she expected the basketball to come flying at her. But Elliot still held it in his hands. He hadn't really expected her to turn. As if in slow motion, he pushed the ball to the ground and they both watched as it bounced to her. It hit the black top three times before reaching Olivia's waiting hands. Elliot walked towards her, his knee length shorts sticking to his legs as a gust of wind blew past them. His hands went to her face, framing it in his hands.

"Baby, you can't worry yourself sick about it," he told her in a soothing voice. "If she really wants to change for good, she will. Talk to her more. Tell her what's going on with your life."

"Because every time I've tried in the past, she's always turned to alcohol because she can't handle that I'm growing up," Olivia explained her fears. She turned her eyes upward to stop the prickling she felt at the back of her eyes. She didn't know why she was so emotional lately. _Must be my period or something, _she thought randomly.

"Hey, now, none of this," he said in a firm voice. His hands slipped down to her shoulders, giving her a light shake. "We're supposed to be having fun and shooting hoops, not feeling depressed. We'll talk about this later tonight at dinner. I'll let you cry on my shoulder."

Olivia chuckled and punched said shoulder. She knew he was teasing her just to make her smile. This was why she talked to him about her problems. She couldn't go to her girl friends with her problems. They made her dwell on it and remember the bad times. They didn't let her talk it through all the way. The glossed over her issues and acted as if they weren't a big deal. Elliot was upfront with her about the tough times in her life, told her how she could improve the situation. He got her to laugh when she thought she wouldn't be able to handle it anymore.

She pressed the basketball into his stomach. "One-on-one until your brother gets here," she explained when she caught his bemused stare.

"Want me to spot you twenty?" he smirked. He grabbed the offered ball.

"How 'bout I spot _you_ twenty?" she countered, hitting the ball out of his hands. She made a fast action, grabbing it quickly. She spun around so he wouldn't stop her and made a shot for the basket. She cheered, her arms shooting up and past her head, when the ball bounced off the backboard and went through the red rim. "Better hurry up, Stabler. I'm already kicking your ass."

He shook his head at her and jogged off after her, making a grab for the ball. She squealed when he beat her to the ball and tried to block his path when he began waving the ball around above his head, trying to make a shot at the basket.

"Hey, little bro. I didn't know we were inviting females to this game," a voice called out behind Elliot. Olivia stood on her tip toes to look in the triangle Elliot's arm created to see who it was. Coming towards them was someone she had only seen in pictures before. He looked like an older version of Elliot. His hair was shaved in a buzz cut in a manner similar to Elliot. She could see shades perched on his face, completing what she assumed he thought was his tough look. He had on what she would call a muscle shirt so all around him could see his rippling muscles. His khaki shorts were probably a poor choice for the basketball court but she doubted he cared. He seemed more like he was dressed for a day at the beach than a day to hang out with his younger brother. Olivia could practically already hear the cheesy pick-up lines she had no doubt he used on all the girls.

Elliot coughed to clear his throat before turning around. He ignored Olivia for a second as he stepped up to greet his brother.

"We're not," he assured his brother. His right hand clasped his brother's right hand before embracing him in a half hug. Elliot then motioned back to Olivia. She stepped up to join them. "John, this is my girlfriend, Olivia Benson. Liv, this is my older brother John. Olivia's just waiting for her friend to get here."

John pushed his sunglasses up and onto his head, his eyes taking in the female form in front of him. Olivia lifted her brow as she watched his eyes rake up and down her body. _You're cute but you're not that cute, buddy,_ Olivia thought to herself as she mentally rolled her eyes. Beside her, she felt Elliot tense at his brother's actions. She bumped her elbow into him before raising her hand to his.

"It's nice to meet you, John," she greeted politely. He accepted her outstretched hand and shook it slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. "Elliot's talked about you a lot."

"I really wish he had talked about you a lot," John said in a cocky tone. His eyes continued to rake her body. He had never been so jealous of his brother.

Elliot removed John's hand from his girlfriend, putting his body in between them as a barrier. "Okay, okay. Get your hands off my girlfriend before I punch you in the face."

Though he said it with a smile on his face, Olivia knew he wasn't joking in the least. At a party not long ago, Olivia had been dancing with her girl friends when a guy decided to side right up to them. Olivia had told him she was seeing someone but the guy insisted he was who she wanted instead. After unsuccessfully trying to pull away from his grabby hands, as well as an unsuccessful jab at his groin with her knee, Elliot had appeared behind him out of nowhere. She had watched as his hand clamped down hard on the other guy's shoulder and forcible removed the other guy's hand from Olivia's hip and then proceeded to snap his wrist all the way back. Olivia was almost positive Elliot had broken the guy's wrist that night but they hadn't bothered to stick around to find out. They left shortly after that and spent the rest of the evening alone.

At the time, Olivia had had mixed feelings about the event. A part of her was thrilled that he had swooped in and claimed ownership, protecting her from the scum of the earth. The other part of her was mad as hell that he thought she wasn't able to protect herself from the slime ball.

"Calm down, little bro," she heard John say. "It's a compliment."

She tuned out the brothers as they bantered back and forth and glanced around. It was a nice day outside. Fluffy clouds filled the sky. It was warm but it was still early so it wasn't terribly unbearable. She watched as leaves seemed to float in the air every time the breeze in the air would brush up against the trees. She looked around the large community basketball court. There were several people out playing this morning at each of the court's six baskets. There were some kids shooting around on the court next to them, practicing for when school started Olivia guessed. There was a team of mixed races playing a few courts down, laughing and joking around with each other while they played. Olivia smiled when her eyes caught sight of some black men playing at the other end of the court. She could tell they had been there for a while; their shirts had been forgotten on the sidelines and their skin was glistening with sweat. She recognized some of them; they often played games with Elliot. They were nice men who often paid Olivia compliments.

"Liv?" Elliot nudged her. She looked over at him and saw he was pointing to something in front of him. "Lucy's here."

She looked over and sure enough there was Lucy waving away at her. She waved back before holding up her index finger, telling her to wait a minute. John had moved on to shoot around with the basketball so it didn't feel awkward when she pulled Elliot close to kiss him goodbye.

"Are we still on for dinner tonight?" she murmured.

"You bet. You can tell me everything that's bothering you," Elliot promised, his arms wrapping tightly around her.

"I'm gonna hold you to that." She brought her lips to his again, taking her sweet time telling him goodbye. She moved her lips slowly against his, not quite ready to leave him. She suckled his lower lip, biting gently, enticing a guttural groan from him.

"Olivia!"

She tore her lips from Elliot's to glance over at Lucy. She rolled her eyes when she saw her friend pointing to her watch and tapping her foot with an exasperated expression.

"You'd better go before Lucifer has a heart attack," Elliot said with a nod of his head, calling Lucy by his nickname for her.

Olivia sighed. "Yeah, I know." She gave Elliot one last peck on the lips. "See you later."

"Have fun."

"It was nice to meet you, John," she called over to Elliot's brother.

He waved at her. "Nice to meet you, too."

Both men watched as Olivia walked away, both with equal appreciation.

"Damn, Elliot!" John exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. "How the hell did you get her?"

Elliot looked over at John and covered his brother's eyes. "Stop staring at my girlfriend's ass," he ordered.

"I can't help it, bro. She is hot," he stressed, moving Elliot's hand from his eyes. They immediately found the backside of Olivia still walking away from them. Her red rose sundress seemed to make her skin glow and look darker than normal. He would have whistled but he was pretty sure Elliot would hit him if he did. "Looks a hell of a lot better than Kathy ever did."

"Yeah, well, I know you and you'd better back off," Elliot warned. More than once, John had swooped in and tried to steal away Elliot's girlfriends. Why he was fixated on high school girls when he was twenty-four and could have any woman he wanted, Elliot would never understand.

John held up his hands in peace but his smile remained. "Relax. I'm a changed man. I don't do that anymore."

"Since when are you a changed man?" Elliot asked, his face scrunched up with disbelief.

"Since I met Rachel."

"Who the hell is Rachel?"

"My new girlfriend."

Elliot paused retrieving the forgotten basketball. "When did you get a girlfriend?"

"I met her a couple months ago on the beat," he started to explain, obviously excited. "She saw a robbery in process and when I was questioning her, I couldn't stop staring at her. She called me on it and asked me out."

"She asked you out?" Elliot repeated. "I thought you hated that?"

"I do but you haven't seen Rachel. She has got an ass that goes on for days and her breasts…"

Elliot waved his hands around to stop John. "Stop, stop, I don't want to hear the details." John just shook his head. "Where's she from?"

"She's originally from north Jersey but she moved here to go to college," John recited. He snatched the ball away from Elliot and ran towards the basket to do a lay-up.

Elliot stared at his brother like he had been replaced by an alien. He had never seen him like this. Normally, he treated women like shit – never called them back, picked them up late for dates, was far from a gentleman. He used them as booty calls and that was it. But if he had been going out with Rachel for two months and was still talking about her like he had just met her…Maybe his jerk of a brother was finally in love. Elliot chuckled to himself. He never thought he'd see the day.

"Tell me more about Olivia," John said, putting emphasis on her name. He passed the ball to Elliot who promptly made a shot at the basket. "I assume she went to your school."

"Yep, she was my biology partner my sophomore year. I thought she was a dork for about the first two months of school and then we just kind of connected. She's amazing. She understands me and doesn't act at all like Kathy did. We're good for each other, I think."

John's mouth hung wide open. "You've been going out with her since your sophomore year? I thought…"

"No, we've only been going out for eight months, ass wipe. I was going out with Kathy during those years," Elliot reminded his brother. He tossed the ball to him.

"Oh, well, Olivia seems really cool. Do you think it'll last?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, in ten years, do you see yourself with her?"

Elliot paused. He didn't like to think too far into the future; he was more of a 'now' kind of guy. But when he looked into the future, all of the pictures of him had Olivia standing right there next to him. He could see them sharing an apartment together somewhere in the city, or maybe a house. He didn't know exactly what his future would be like, but he knew he needed Olivia there to get him through it all.

"Yeah, I do," Elliot finally answered somewhat dreamily. "I can't imagine my life without her."

John clapped his brother on his back. "You've got it bad, little bro."

Elliot chuckled. "Sounds like we both do."

"Let's play a game," John suggested. "It'll give us a chance to get some masculinity back."

E

O

"That was a foul!"

"On what planet? That was in!"

"It was a foul," John insisted, his face red with anger. He walked over to the sidelines and got a drink of water from his water bottle. "This is why I don't play sports with you."

Elliot growled but didn't bother saying anything. He followed his brother's example and sat down on the ground. They sat quietly next to one another, both still fuming over the play. They were always getting into riffs when they played sports – basketball, football, air hockey, cards. Elliot was amazed they hadn't come to blows yet after one of them disagreed with a call. Although, Elliot had been hit in the forehead once with an air hockey puck after a game got too heated.

But they were still brothers. And they were extremely competitive with one another. As long as there were sports in the world, Elliot and John would always play them.

Elliot's body jerked to the side when John punched him in the shoulder. His water swished out of his bottle and he smiled. Just like that, they were back to normal.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Elliot began hesitantly.

"Shoot."

"Uh.. have you ever had trouble…controlling yourself…with one of your girlfriends?" he said shyly.

John scrunched his nose. "What do you mean, like going too far or something?"

"No, I mean…" Elliot licked his lips and took a deep breath, "Have you ever gotten too…excited and…you know?"

John still looked puzzles. Surely he couldn't mean…?

"A little premature there, Elliot?" John grinned.

"No," Elliot growled. "We haven't have sex yet so I can't be premature."

"Why not? It's amazing," John boasted.

"Because I don't want to pressure her only to make her regret it," Elliot explained. He shook his head to come back to his senses. "Do you get what I'm asking or not?"

John laughed and patted Elliot on his back. "You guys haven't had sex yet but you're exploring a little above the clothes, am I right?"

"Yeah."

"And you get excited but when she touches you, you can't control your, uh, reaction," John finished.

Elliot looked over at his brother. "Yeah. Has it happened to you?"

John laughed like that was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. "God, no, but it happened to a friend of mine."

Elliot shook his head. "It wasn't this way with Kathy," he remembered. "She touched me and it was nice but I never felt like I was about to explode with one touch. With Olivia…I can't even let her touch me half the time, I'm so nervous."

"You just gotta relax, man."

"I am relaxed!" Elliot exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

John shook his head. "No, you only think you are. You just…You have to relax and let things progress. Don't have any expectations. Just enjoy the moment, wherever it may lead."

Elliot looked at his brother like he had grown another head. "When did you become mister sensitive caring guy?"

John smiled charmingly. "It's the new me."

Elliot shrugged his hand off his shoulder. "Change back to the old you," he recommended. He stared straight ahead at the people playing basketball, thinking about his brother's words. Six months ago, his brother would have laughed his ass off at Elliot's problem. Apparently, his brother having a girlfriend was like having an entirely new brother, one he could actually talk to. "Thanks, John."

But John waved it off. "Don't mention it. Have you thought about going into the Academy? You'd be a shoe-in."

"No, it's settled. I'm going into the marines," Elliot reminded firmly. He was tired of everybody doubting his choice. Everybody except Olivia. "Besides, Olivia's going into the force."

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute," John held up his hands. "You're gonna let your girlfriend become a cop?"

Elliot looked at him, bemused. "You think she can't do it just 'cause she's a female?"

John remained silent. The last thing he wanted to do was insult his brother's girlfriend but a cop? She seemed more like the school teacher type.

"Let me tell you something," Elliot began, his anger rising. He was tired of people thinking Olivia wasn't strong enough to be a cop just because she was a female. "Olivia has been through a lot of shit in her life and she is damn capable of becoming a cop. She's tough, tougher than me most of the time, and she'd make a damn good cop."

"Calm down," John interrupted before Elliot could start again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't judge; I don't even know her. I'm sorry."

Elliot nodded and wisely kept his mouth shut before he made himself angrier.

"So…are you ready for boot camp, at least?" John asked, trying to get back in his brother's good graces.

"Yeah, I think so. I've been lifting weights and running more to get myself ready."

"What do you see yourself doing with the marines?"

"I don't know," Elliot answered honestly. "I chose to enlist because I didn't really have any other options open for me. My grades weren't good enough at the time and I don't want to be a cop so I enlisted. All I know right now is that I'm going to boot camp for thirteen weeks. I have time to decide what I want to be with the marines then."

"You gonna do career?"

Elliot shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

"Olivia knows about all of this, doesn't she? She knows what she's signing on for?"

Elliot laughed. "Yeah, she knows."

''_Cause life is like a slideshow  
All the places I go  
And I the things that I know  
Through all the highs and low  
'Cause life is like a slideshow  
And all things that I've seen  
And all the things that I've dreamed  
You can't take away from me  
'Cause life is like a slideshow'_

* * *

Reviews make life better...


	5. Dynamite

A/N: Sorry this chapter took a little extra time. I was stuck and then I had to get settled back into college. In other words, expect a few delays, but I'm so grateful to my faithful reviewers!

The song 'Dynamite' belongs to Taio Cruz and not me.

* * *

'_I came to move_

_Get out the way of me and my crew_

_I'm in the club so I'm gonna do_

_Just what the f**k I came here to do'_

**July 9, 1981 8:13AM**

**Bus Lot of New York City Tours**

"Hey, yo, ma!"

Olivia turned around slowly, ready to cuss out whoever had just spoken to her like that. She smiled when she saw her friend DJ.

"I thought you were working the boat tour today," she said to him as he came down the aisles of the bus. She was cleaning the inside windows before the first tour of the day.

"I changed my schedule around with Chris," DJ explained. "I know you don't really like him and frankly, you and I work best together."

"So I get the 'brother from the hood' from now on?" Olivia hoped, calling DJ by a name he frequently called himself.

DJ smiled widely, his white teeth sparkling against his black skin. He put his hands on his chest. "You get the brotha from the hood. Try to contain yourself."

She threw her rag at him. "You're such a knucklehead."

"Only around you, ma."

She stepped back to look at the window she had just done. "Why do you call me that?" she wondered, her tone gentle, indicating she wasn't insulted.

He threw the rag back at her only to have it hit her in the arm. "It's a sign of respect," he explained. "Basically, it means you're cool and you can kick it with anybody."

"Oh." She liked to think of herself as a people person but hearing someone else say that no matter where she was, she would probably be accepted with welcome arms was beyond reassuring.

"And it means I think you're attractive," DJ added confidently.

Olivia looked over at him, taking notice of his cocky smile. Elliot had a smile very similar to that.

"You know I have a boyfriend, D," she reminded him. This was not the first time they had been down this road.

"So you say but I have yet to actually meet him."

"It's not my fault you don't work on the days he visits me," she defended. "And besides that, we live on opposite sides of the city. I only ever see you at work."

DJ shrugged. "That just means we should hang out more," he solved. He took the cleaning spray and sprayed it on one of the windows in front of him. She offered him the rag and sat down in one of the seats behind him. "Maybe I could finally meet this boyfriend of yours."

"And why would you want to do that?" she smirked.

"So I can make sure his intentions are good."

She shook her head, laughing. She watched as DJ pursed his lips, trying to make himself look manlier. She couldn't lie – she did find DJ attractive, but not enough to leave Elliot. DJ's chocolate colored skin made his yellow T-shirt pop, the same yellow T-shirt she was wearing as part of their work uniform. His face was smooth of blemishes but he was scruffy from the beard and mustache he was trying to grow. His nose was a little large but the right size for his face. He had on a blue MLB baseball cap, not a part of his uniform, just something he was never without. Her eyes looked over to his hands, currently moving in a circular motion to wipe the window clean. His hands looked just like Elliot's, only darker.

They had been working together on tours since her first day on the job. He had started the summer before her as an escape from the street life of the Bronx. He hadn't wanted to end up like so many before him. He couldn't rap to get out or play ball so instead he went to school, got good grades, worked, and danced to make sure he kept his life pointed in the right direction. He was a good guy, always flirting with her and keeping her spirits up. He was a gentleman, much like Elliot. He could be street to talk to his friends and uptown to talk to businessmen. He wasn't vulgar when speaking to women he found attractive; she could attest to that. She enjoyed watching him try out his dance moves in between tours. He always tried to get her to dance with him but most of the time, she turned him down, preferring to watch. He made their work environment ten times more enjoyable than it should have been.

"I can assure you his intentions are good," Olivia responded. She thought about Elliot. She checked her watch; he was probably still sleeping, his shift at his uncle's bar not starting for another two and a half hours. She had plans to meet him there later. She looked up when she felt like someone was watching her. DJ was staring down at her, a smile on his face.

"Get lost somewhere?" he wondered, the far off look on her face a dead giveaway. She only grinned. "Hey, what are you doing this weekend?"

"Um, nothing as far as I know. Why?"

He turned to face her, his excitement written all over his face. "How'd you like to come see me and some of my boys dance in Columbus Circle?"

Olivia's eyes sparkled with excitement for her friend. "You're dancing in Columbus Circle?"

"Yeah, we want to show people that not all black guys are thugs or drug dealers," he explained.

"Well, I would love to come. What time are you guys doing it?"

"We thought we'd get there around noon on Saturday, that way people would be awake and out shopping and happen to see us. You should bring your boyfriend."

Olivia smiled. "I will. I promise."

E

O

**9:38PM**

**Frank's Bar**

Olivia pulled open the heavy, nondescript door to the bar, stepping inside feeling light and carefree. It had been a great day at work and the day was about to become even greater.

"Hey, it's Olivia!" Frank, Elliot's uncle greeted as soon as he saw her. He set down the glass he was cleaning and motioned toward the card game going on in the corner. "I'm waitin' for you to kick their asses so I know my money's goin' to good use."

"How much did they get you for?" she asked, smiling at him.

"That's not important," he shrugged. "Just go win it back."

"Will do, Frank," she promised. "Where's Elliot?"

Frank pointed to the back and picked up another glass. "He's bringing up some bottles for me. I can't do all that heavy liftin' these days. He should be done soon."

Olivia nodded and turned around only to see Elliot setting some bottle-filled crates down next to the bar. He looked up and smiled when he saw her.

"Hey, baby, you're early," he said, his tone surprised but not disappointed. He made just a few quick strides to reach her, wrapping her up in his arms and hugging her close to him. Her arms wrapped under his larger ones, keeping his upper body pressed flat against hers.

"I wanted to see you," she admitted before pressing her lips to his. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," he uttered against her lips.

They were close to equal height but she was a couple of inches shorter. He was able to reach her mouth without bending his head too much and without her standing on her tip toes. He was always hesitant to kiss her in the bar; his uncle's friends always gave him a ribbing. But she hadn't seen him in days and she wasn't willing to wait a good hour before she finally got to kiss him.

Behind her, she heard a strange noise coming from one of Frank's friends. It sounded suspiciously like coughs mixed in with a few choice words directed at them.

"Whipped," Duke coughed out.

"Pansy," Garvin joined.

Elliot pulled away from Olivia as the rest of Frank's friends began to laugh at their friend's antics. His arms began to tense around her so Olivia held him firm in her arms so he was unable to get away. He was always getting crap from his uncle's friends, especially when Olivia was around. They loved Olivia; never said a bad word about her, were perfect gentlemen with her. He knew they didn't really mean any harm but a man could only take so much before he started punching people in the face.

Olivia opened her mouth to say something but was stopped by the sound of Frank's voice.

"Hey, hey, hey, leave 'em alone. Don't you remember being young and in love? Or are you so old that you've forgotten?" Frank chastised. Duke and Garvin grumbled and turned back to the poker game. Frank shook his head and went back to his work. Olivia couldn't help but laugh at it all.

She rested her head on Elliot's chest, inhaling his natural scent mingling with sweat. "You almost done?"

"I still have a few more crates to bring up and then I have to organize everything for tomorrow." He rested his chin on the top of her head, his hands rubbing up and down her back. "It shouldn't take me too long. You should play a few hands with the guys; kick their asses and take their money."

She chuckled. "I plan on it."

Her grip loosened when she pulled back to look at him. He leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. "I am going to get back to work we can get out of here faster."

"Sounds good," she grinned.

He slowly slinked out of her arms and headed back to work. With a goofy grin on her face, she headed towards the table next to the bar.

The establishment itself was a hole in the wall. Only locals knew it was there, which was fine by Frank. His locals were loyal; coming by every week and even bringing their children by once they finally became of age. The bar had a homey feel to it. The ceiling was low, giving it a basement bar feel. The atmosphere was dark – dark mahogany tables and bar top, dark green felt on the pool table and poker table, dark lighting over the tables. The floor was even dark red linoleum, dented from years of wear and tear. Overhead lamps were dim and not harsh on the eyes. On the walls were framed newspaper clippings depicting important historical moments and a few articles about the bar. There were some old metal signs with humorous sayings and brought memories of the good ole days. There was one that reminded people beer used to be five cents a pint. The walls were painted a nice tan color. The wooden base provided a nice look on the walls and was harder to bash a fist or a leg through as some patrons found out when they were too drunk.

"Hey, there she is!" Martin, a friend of Frank's greeted when he caught sight of Olivia. "'Bout time you got over here."

"Here," Duke said on the left side of Martin. He pulled out the empty chair and motioned for her to sit in it. "Sit next to me, beautiful."

She smiled at his epithet. At first, it had been odd having men twice her age call her beautiful and pay her compliments. But once she sat down and started playing poker with these men, she had come to realize that they spoke to all females like that. It was an old school thing, their way of showing respect and praise.

"What are we playing today, guys?" she asked, taking the offered seat.

Phil's hand touched her forearm. "Did you bring cash?"

Olivia pulled some money from the back pocket of her blue jeans and set it on the table in front of her. She crossed her arms on the table and gave him a pointed look. He nodded and motioned to Garvin to deal.

"Okay, five card draw, everybody ante, jacks are wild," Garvin recited, dealing out cards to everyone.

E

O

**10:17PM**

**Streets of New York City**

"I can't believe you won two hundred dollars from them," Elliot said for the third time.

"And that was just from today," Olivia reminded him from his right. It wasn't the first time Olivia had claimed a large sum of money from Frank's friends.

"You are officially my hero," he said in all seriousness.

She bumped into him with her shoulder. "Shut up."

He laughed. "No, I'm serious. You are my hero. I have never seen anyone put them in their place like you do."

"Please, I wouldn't be surprised if half the time they let me win."

Elliot shook his head. "I don't think they do. They'd rather cut their own arms off than lose a poker game, especially if there's money on it," he assured her. "And especially not to a female."

"I don't know," Olivia waved off. "You've seen the way they act around me."

He squeezed her hand in his. "Trust me. You're beautiful, Liv, but there's no way they'd lose on purpose."

She knew he had a point. They liked her. They taught her everything she knew when it came to poker. They wouldn't placate her by letting her win a few hands. And she certainly wouldn't keep their manly pride intact by letting them win.

She snuggled further into his side, trying to keep the warm feeling coursing through her body. The weather had been acting crazy. It would warm up to the eighties during the day; humidity would rise and annoy everyone, before cooling off in the evening to the low seventies. It was nice, but after a day in the humidity Olivia found herself wishing she had a light jacket just to retain the warmth she had been harvesting all day.

"Oh, DJ did the funniest thing today," she exclaimed out of nowhere. She laughed to herself as she remembered. "There were some tourists from somewhere in Asia today and they asked me if I could take their picture in front of the Empire State Building. I said I would and I told them where to stand. I look through the lens and next thing I know, I see DJ in the back ground with a cheesy grin and his arms in the air. I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't laugh and let them in on it. DJ told me it would be their reminder of their tour."

Through her laughter, Olivia failed to notice that Elliot wasn't laughing with her. He set his jaw and squared his shoulders with anger. He was getting tired of hearing about this DJ character. A day couldn't go by without hearing about DJ and something funny he did that day. He was beginning to seriously hate the guy and he'd never even met him! This DJ person spent more time with his girlfriend than he did lately. It was a lot easier when they were in school. He got to see her every day for at least eight hours. Now, he was lucky if he got to talk to her every day for maybe an hour on the phone. What if she decided to leave him once he was away at basic training? Or worse, what if she cheated on him while he was away? He would be able to accept her leaving him; it would take a few years, but he would accept it. But he would never be able to handle it if she cheated on him.

Olivia looked over at him. He hadn't said anything when she told him her story. She thought she'd at least get a chuckle out of him. Instead she was met with an angry Elliot. "What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

She blinked, not believing him for a minute. She had a feeling she knew what was bothering him but she knew he would never admit it. He was fine with her having male friends if they were his friends, too, but a male he didn't know? That was just begging for his anger.

"All right," she said slowly, trying to let him believe she wasn't going to push the subject. "When you figure out what's bothering you, I'm…"

"It's just…" Elliot interrupted, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. "Every time you work with DJ you never stop talking about him. It's always DJ this, DJ that."

Olivia covered her mouth with her free hand. "Oh, my god, you're jealous."

"I am not," he vehemently denied, looking down at the ground.

"Yes, you are!" She couldn't help the smile that came over her face. She had never seen him get jealous before. Well, the type of jealous where his answer was emotional instead of physical. "You're jealous."

He didn't say anything, choosing to remain silent. He would never admit his jealousy, not to his friends, not to his parents, and certainly not to Olivia.

Olivia framed his face in her soft hands. She pressed her lips to his to try and calm him.

"Baby," she began softly. "You have nothing to worry about. I think he's attractive but it's the same as how you think Miss Beverly Hills is attractive. Nothing's ever gonna come of it. It's harmless. He's just a friend."

"You say that now, but what if he makes you an offer you just can't refuse? You don't know what this guy is thinkin', Olivia."

"I know he's probably thinking I've told him that I have a boyfriend and I love said boyfriend, no matter how jealous he gets."

"I'm not…" he bit his tongue to keep from yelling. Her pointed stare also told him to find another outlet for his anger. "He's a guy, Liv. You don't know what he's capable of."

"And neither do you," she pointed out. "You've never even met him."

He held up a finger. "That's another thing. I've never met him. Don't you think I should meet the guy who spends so much time with my girlfriend?"

"Yes, I do," she said brightly. "What are you doing this weekend?"

He shrugged. "Nothing. I was gonna ask if you wanted to do something."

Her hands traveled down his arms until their fingers met once again. She laced her fingers through his one by one until their palms were flush against one another's. "You are spending Saturday with me at Columbus Circle."

"Okay, why Columbus Square?"

"Because DJ is dancing there and we are going to watch and support him. This is your chance to meet him."

He only stared at her quizzically. It wasn't exactly how he had envisioned spending his Saturday.

"I'm tired of you judging him when you don't even know him," she further explained. She poked a finger into his chest. "Besides, he wants to meet you, too. Maybe this way, you guys will finally understand the intentions of the other and I won't have to be in the middle anymore. Or, who knows? Maybe you guys will become friends."

Elliot waved his hands frantically in front of him to stop her. "All right, all right. Can we stop talking about this?" he asked, starting to become irritated. Olivia only smiled.

"Best friends," she snuck in. She tried to duck when he moved to put her in a headlock but she was too slow. "Best friends who share everything with each other."

She squealed when he ruffled her hair. She struggled to get out of his grasp but her laughter was slowing the process. "Elliot," she whined, attempting to kick him in the back of the leg so he would let her go.

He grinned, his chuckles mingling with hers. "Are you gonna stop talking about him?"

"Yes, I promise."

"All right." He lifted his arm from around her neck when she made a sudden move and trapped his arm behind his back. He groaned when she dug a hand into his lower back. He felt her lips move next to his ear as she spoke.

"Are you going to accept that I have guy friends that you don't know?"

He chuckled instead of answering and was rewarded with her digging her knuckles and his hand further into his back. "Is it wrong that I'm totally turned on by this?" he wondered aloud.

"Answer the question! "

"Yes," he growled. "I'm going to accept it. I'm not going to like it but I don't think I really have a choice."

"No, you don't," she agreed. She released his arm and wrapped her arms around him from behind. She softened her tone as she rested her cheek against the firmness of his back. "I'm going to have male friends just like you're going to have female friends. Neither one of us is going to like it but we both have to accept it."

He nodded. He laid his hands over hers on his stomach, finding her fingers and lacing them once again. She always had to be the voice of reason. It was one thing that she was friends with his guy friends but he wasn't sure how he felt about her going off to college and meeting guys he didn't even know. But she did have a point. They were both going to meet people of the opposite sex and possibly even find them attractive. They were only human.

He crouched down suddenly. "Hop on," he told her, his hands out a ways from his body so he could catch her. She smiled widely and did as he said. His warm hands caught her legs when she hopped onto his back. His fingers closed around her short clad thighs, making sure he had a tight grip. Her arms wrapped around his neck, trying not to squeeze to tight.

"My knight in shining armor," she commented after he took a few steps. She pressed her face next to his, kissing his cheek.

E

O

**July 11, 1981 12:02PM**

**Columbus Circle**

Olivia made her way through the crowd casually. Most people in New York, and on the east coast, were always in a hurry but not her. She had no where she needed to be in a hurry. She preferred to enjoy life and watch it pass by, not let it pass her by like so many other people did. She loved stopping and watching children play on playgrounds with their friends or their parents. She enjoyed watching flowers bloom in the spring and leaves fall in autumn. She liked listening to street musicians and singers when she walked the streets of her city. She had found more of a reason to live and love life when she began dating Elliot.

She could see a crowd up ahead where she knew DJ and his friends would be. It was a mixed crowd; that was the beauty of living in New York City. She got to mingle and experience all walks of life.

She maneuvered through some people to try and find DJ, standing on her tip toes to see over people's heads. She spotted him with his back turned to her. "DJ!" she called out. A couple of people next to her covered their ears and turned to look at her, harsh expressions on their faces. She cringed and moved forward toward DJ.

He turned when he heard his name, smiling when he saw Olivia moving towards him. He stepped away from his friends. "Hey, girl, I'm glad you made it," he called over to her.

He weaved his way through some people, stopping to say hi to ones he knew before finally reaching Olivia. He pulled her into a quick hug, unsure if her boyfriend was around to witness it or not. He tried to subtly browse the people around her as he stepped away from her, trying to guess which one could be her boyfriend. Was it the kid with the funny ball cap? No, she would need someone more serious, more mature. What about the guy who had just pulled out the small black comb? No, there was no way she would be dating a guy **that** into his looks.

DJ had only a slight clue as to what type of man Olivia was attracted to. He hoped he was a part of her type; after all, they did flirt a lot at work. She was always quick to stop it if it went too far, though. He knew she had a thing for guys with muscle. She had positively commented on his changing physique one day after he had spent months working out to enhance his biceps. He also knew she liked her men intelligent. Which would probably rule out the hair comb guy he couldn't stop staring at.

"Thought you were bringing the boyfriend," he commented, looking at her and acting like he hadn't just been surveying the crowd.

But Olivia had seen. She smothered a grin and glanced around. "He'll be here. I told him to be here by noon, but there are a lot of people out today."

"Uh-huh, right," DJ drew out, looking at her suspiciously with a grin. "You're lying; he doesn't exist."

She punched him in the chest, but her laughter took the severity out of it. "He exists, you knucklehead!"

He rubbed his chest and took a step back away from her. "You packing some heat with that punch there. Maybe I should tell your boyfriend to watch out."

"Don't bother," she murmured seductively, a glint in her eyes. "He likes it rough."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "See, that's why I like you," he told her, leading her over to where he had been standing before she had called out to him. "You play my game. You don't give me a dirty look and tell me to shove it where the sun don't shine."

She smiled and let him lead her. She felt safe with DJ, like she didn't have to worry about anything. She knew he had a crush on her and that she had a boyfriend but she trusted him enough to never push that issue.

She watched as DJ's friend called him over so they could start. She wished him good luck and pushed him off toward his friends. She glanced around her for Elliot, standing on her tip toes yet again to scan over some particularly tall heads. She heard the music start behind her and turned her head to look. The saxophone and trumpet had people nodding their heads and moving their hips. Olivia couldn't help but do the same. Some of DJ's friends were moving in a circle, getting a feel for the music before taking their turn. DJ went first, moving his feet and hands in a swinging manner, alternating sides. He made different faces as he did different moves, enjoying his craft and making it fun.

She startled when she felt hands push down on her shoulders.

"Don't hit me," Elliot's voice said over her left shoulder. He rubbed her tense shoulders, trying to calm her before she swung around and slugged him.

To his relief, she turned around with a smile on her face. She wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning into him to receive his kiss.

"I was beginning to think you weren't coming," she said, a cocky grin on her face.

Elliot shook his head. "I told you I'd be here and I am."

"Good," she murmured, nipping at his lips.

She turned in his arms to continue watching the dancing, but kept his arms around her. He pulled her body close, enjoying the feel of her. "Which one's DJ?"

She pointed to DJ, who was watching his friend dance at that moment. "The one with the blue ball cap and the white shirt."

Elliot followed her finger, looking through everyone to find the one she described. There were a couple of others with white shirts but only one had on a blue ball cap. Elliot found his palms growing sweaty. Olivia had never really described to him what DJ looked like, just that he was black and had a nice smile. The other day, she had said he was cute but he hadn't quite realized…

Before him was an attractive male, even he had to admit that. He had really been hoping the guy's smile was the only thing that made him cute. And he could dance!

He watched the dance demonstration silently, his eyes following every move DJ made, sizing him up. _I can take him,_ he thought to himself. _He's not that big_.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts he failed to hear the song ending and see DJ coming towards them. He grunted when Olivia nudged him with her elbow on the side of his ribs. He felt his arms falling from around her waist when the fog around his head cleared. He watched as his girlfriend hugged her friend, a large smile on her face as she praised him on his performance. His fingers closed into fists, his nostrils flaring as he watched the display play out in front of him.

Suddenly, he felt Olivia's fingers manipulate his fist, forcing him to relax his hand as she put her hand in his.

"Elliot, this is DJ," she introduced, squeezing her boyfriend's hand as a warning for him to behave. "DJ, this is my boyfriend Elliot."

The two men stared at one another, sizing each other up. Elliot automatically puffed out his chest, setting his shoulders back on his frame. He saw DJ make a similar move, trying to match Elliot's frame. They were similar in build but Elliot had a little more muscle on him and he was a few inches taller. DJ was closer to Olivia's height. He could definitely take the guy.

DJ took in the man in front of him, not exactly surprised he was Olivia's boyfriend. He seemed like the type of man to handle a no-nonsense Olivia—big, strong, hard-headed, stubborn. He looked like he could be a major jackass given the chance but then again, he really didn't know anything about the man.

He had a feeling they brought out the best in each other.

"Keep that testosterone in check," Olivia warned, her voice soft but carrying straight to his ears. He glanced down to see her hard stare and forced himself to calm down for her sake. His body relaxed just looking at her, curling his fingers around hers. She leaned her weight into him, trusting him to support her.

DJ observed their body language with one another. He felt an attraction to Olivia but now he could see that he would never stand a chance. He could tell by the way she was looking at him, the hard stare now replaced by one of love. He could tell Elliot genuinely cared for her, would eagerly put her needs before his own just as she would do the same for him. No, he didn't stand a chance in hell.

He felt the pull of her every day at work, like the tempting song of the Sirens. She had everything a guy could want—brains, beauty, a sense of humor, a love of sports, compassion, strength. She was perfect. And they had a lot of fun together when they were at work. She was the only one who had really encouraged his dancing. Everyone else had told him it was just a waste of time, it wouldn't take him anywhere. But Olivia…Olivia had faith in him. He didn't know if he could just stop fighting to have a chance to be with her. But he wanted her to be happy. Elliot made her happy.

DJ extended his hand outward toward Elliot. "Nice to finally meet you."

Elliot looked at the outstretched hand and debated whether or not to accept it. He knew it would make Olivia happy but he still didn't trust the guy. He looked honest enough but so did most people.

Slowly, Elliot extended his hand to accept. "Nice to meet you, too."

'_I throw my hands up in the air sometimes_

_Saying a-yo; gotta let go_

_I wanna celebrate and live my life_

_Saying a-yo; baby let's go_

'_Cause we gon' rock this club_

_We gon' go all night_

_We gon' light it up like it's dynamite_

'_Cause I told you once_

_Now I told you twice_

_We gon' light it up like it's dynamite'_


	6. Something's Got a Hold on Me

A/N: Finally chapter 6! I owe a huge thanks to DarkAlley29 for this chapter. The song 'Something's Got a Hold on Me' by Etta James (but performed by Christina Aguilera in her upcoming movie Burlesque) does not belong to me.

* * *

'_Something's got a hold on me_

_Oh, something's got a hold of me right now, child_

_Let me tell you now_

_I got a feeling, I feel so strange_

_Everything about me seems to have changed_

_Step by step, I got a brand new walk_

_I even sound sweeter when I talk_

_I said a oh, oh, oh, oh!_

_I said baby, oh, it must be love'_

**July 16, 1981 2:21PM**

**Benson Apartment**

"I can't believe they just froze him like that," Olivia commented against Elliot's shoulder. Her eyes were glued to the television screen while she watched Darth Vader hand a frozen Han Solo over to Boba Fett. "I'd have been so pissed when I was finally unfrozen."

"If he's unfrozen. The next movie isn't coming out for a few more years," Elliot reminded her. He curled his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in tighter to him. She pulled the blanket up higher on her lap, her bare legs cold from the cold apartment air. She returned her hand to rest on Elliot's chest, snuggling up in his body heat. He glanced down at her and chuckled to himself. "Why don't you go put long pants on?"

"Because I don't want to move," she pouted, titling her head up to look at him. She had chosen to wear shorts but after so many hours inside, she was beginning to get cold. She had already put on one of Elliot's sweatshirts she had taken possession of a while ago. "I'm comfy."

"But if you're cold…"

"I'm not cold," she interrupted. "You're keeping me warm."

She snuggled up to him again, turning her eyes back to the movie. They had been watching movies all day in her apartment, enjoying the reprieve of air conditioning from the hot weather outside. New York was going through a heat wave with temperatures in the mid nineties all week. The breeze from the Atlantic wasn't helping matters any, not when the air was so humid it stuck to people's skins as soon as they stepped out of their doors at seven in the morning. Elliot didn't have the best air conditioning in his house so the minute Olivia called to say her mom had left for work that day, he had been over in no time flat.

"We should go star gazing sometime," Olivia randomly commented.

Elliot glanced over at the television screen where the light sabers were flashing brightly in epic battle. "Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker fighting with lightsabers makes you think of star gazing?"

Her felt her chuckle against his side. "No, I just think it would nice." She glanced up at him. "Did you and Kathy ever go star gazing?"

He paused to think. Were they really going to talk about his ex-girlfriend?

"Kathy and I didn't really do much of anything," he admitted, scratching the back of his head.

"You went out for three years and you never did anything? No fun dates, no nothing?" she said, looking up at him.

He shifted uncomfortably in his spot. "We did _things_," he emphasized, "but nothing I want to talk about with you."

She hummed noncommittal and turned her attention back to the movie. She didn't want to be reminded of his previous relationship with Kathy, but she was curious to know why they had even been together in the first place. Kathy was too girly for him, too preppy. Elliot was a jock through and through.

"You know, when I was little, I thought about becoming an astronaut," he said out of nowhere.

She looked at him with a grin. "You did not."

He nodded. "Yes, I did. I always thought it would be cool. I get to go into outer space and do missions."

"For some reason, I can't see you doing that. If you weren't going into the marines, I would have said you'd be going into pro football. Besides, I hate the space program."

He knitted his eyebrows at her. "Why?"

"Because the government spends hundreds of thousands of dollars to send men into outer space for what? To learn about space rocks? It doesn't make sense," she shook her head, not wanting to get too heated up about it.

"But they've also sent satellites into space so we can have advancing technology," he reasoned.

She sat there quietly before slowly nodding her head. "I guess you have a point."

Suddenly, he began laughing to himself. Olivia turned her head to look at him, her expression quizzical. "Sometimes I just don't get why we're together," he explained softly.

"What do you mean?" she asked slowly with an arched brow, a flush of nervous heat finding its way through her body.

"I love the random conversations we have," he said, soothing her fears that what he had to say wasn't depressing. "Kathy and I would never talk about random shit like this. I love how we can talk about absolutely anything and not think the other is crazy."

A pillow came up from her side and connected with the side of his face. "Don't scare me like that, you asshole!"

Elliot laughed even as she continued to pound on him with the small pillow. He brought his hands up to block her hits, eventually grabbing the pillow from her hands and throwing it to the floor. He rested his head against the back of the couch. Olivia moved to accommodate him, moving further into his side, her back aligning with the back of the couch.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "but it's true. I love our crazy topics."

She smiled. "That's because we both have crazy dreams and we just veer off after that."

He agreed and they both turned their attention back to the movie. He sunk further into the cushions of the couch. He had told her on numerous occasions that her mother had chosen the apartment furniture well. It was far more comfortable than the furniture at his house. He couldn't wait until he had a place of his own so he could pick out the best furniture and deck it out anyway he wanted. Unless he was living with Olivia and she wanted things to look a certain way.

"Hey, Liv?"

"Hmm?"

"Where do you see us going?"

She turned her head and rested her chin on his chest. "What do you mean? Like, in the future?"

"Yeah," he said. His eyes fell to the fringe on the blanket.

She found his hand and laced their fingers together. "I see my future with you right there by my side," she answered truthfully.

His eyes brightened dramatically. "Really?"

Her heart constricted from the insecurities he was feeling. "Yes, really. I love you too much to let you go for anything," she told him softly, her honestly seeping through with every word she spoke.

"So do you think we'll live together once you're done with college?" he smiled, his organs unclenching with relief from her answer. She nodded, a smile of her own covering her face. "House or apartment?"

"Um…It depends on where we live, I guess."

"Here."

"El, I really don't think my mom will want us living with her," she dead panned, glancing around at the small apartment.

He ran a finger down her nose. "You know what I meant."

She chuckled. "I guess it would have to depend on what our needs are. I know I want some kind of yard eventually during my lifetime so I can have a dog. I've always wanted a dog."

"I've always wanted a motorcycle," he confessed.

"So I'll get a dog and you'll get a motorcycle to go with our apartment or house here in New York," she summarized. She poked a finger into his chest. "But you have to teach me to drive the motorcycle."

He grinned. "Deal. But you have to get some kind of attack dog so it'll protect you when I'm not there," he tried to compromise. He knew she would certainly be able to take care of herself in nearly any situation but he would always be paranoid that something bad would happen to her the longer he was away.

"I'm not gonna get an attack dog," she protested.

He rolled his eyes. "Guard dog," he corrected himself. "It's the same thing."

She chuckled but didn't say anything. She understood where he was coming from; if the gender roles had been reversed, she would be worried out of her mind every time another mission came up and she had to leave the country.

"I see our relationship being even better than it is now," Elliot mused. She met his eyes.

"Then we should make sure we always keep things fresh and keep things spicy in the bedroom," she grinned at him.

He held up a finger. "We have to get to the bedroom first."

She giggled, something she noticed she only did when she was with him. "Doesn't make it any less true."

He agreed. If they were truly in it for the long haul, they didn't need to run out of topics to talk about or things to do in five years. They needed to always make an effort to keep the other guessing. They needed to be romantic and spontaneous, something that was going to be hard to be if he decided to be a career marine. Speaking of the marines…

"Why would you want to stay with a guy who's about to go into the marines?" His words took a serious turn. "I don't know what the future has in store for me and I don't know where I'll be able to live."

Her eyes opened wide from realization. "Is that what you're afraid of? That I'll leave just because you'll be in North Carolina and then god knows where?"

He sighed, his shoulders dropping when he realized his secret was out. He ran a hand over his face, afraid his insecurities were written all over his face. She cupped his face in her left hand and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"El, I'm going to support every decision you make but I'm not going to leave you if I don't like the choice you make," she assured, her fingers running across the stubble on his chin.

"What if I do decide to be a career marine, huh?" he proposed. "Will you wait for me?"

"Of course I will, Elliot. I'm not just going to decide I don't love you one day when you're away on a mission."

He grabbed her right hand and kissed her softly. When he pulled back, his loving gaze stared deep into her eyes. "I don't want to lose the best thing that ever happened to me."

A lazy smile spread across her face, her thumb increasing its pressure on his jaw. "You and those pick-up lines," she teased.

"Liv, I'm serious," he chuckled, looking down at their clasped hands. He didn't want her to deflect his compliments and heart-felt confessions with humor right now. Not when he was pouring his heart out.

"I know, El," she whispered. She moved her face close to his, resting her cheek against his. She whispered in his ear, "You're the best thing that's ever happened to **me**."

He moved his head until his lips found hers. They kissed languidly for several long moments, their lips barely touching at times. He could feel her warm breath puffing out from her nose against his face. He moved his free hand to her hair, mixing his fingers with silky strands of dark brown hair. She felt their kisses growing stronger, more passionate with each nip. Whether it was because of him or her, she didn't know. She had been feeling rather amorous lately, more willing to let Elliot cop a feel. She would find herself disappointed when Elliot put the brakes on their exploration, saying if they didn't stop then they wouldn't be stopping at all. Half the time, Olivia was tempted to tell him to keep going just to see what he would do. God knows she hadn't wanted to stop but they both knew it was the right thing to do at the time. It was probably just because she was getting her period.

He leaned them backwards, pushing her back towards the cushions. He brought his body to lie on top of hers, trying not to crush her with his weight. She cradled him with her body, one leg finding its way behind his calf and holding him to her. His forearms rested near her head so he could keep some of his weight off of her.

She pulled him closer, her arms wrapping around his neck while her legs wrapped around his waist. His lips moved to her neck, sucking lightly before moving to a new spot. He felt her fingernails scratching lightly at his T-shirt, sending his nerves on high alert and making his heart beat faster. He kept one forearm by the side of her head while his other hand skimmed down the expanse of her torso. His fingers found the hem of her sweatshirt and slid underneath, seeking out the warmth of her skin. The weight of her arms from his shoulders disappeared for a moment. He understood why when he felt her hands begin to tug the sweatshirt up and over her head, leaving her in only a thin tank top. His eyes watched with interest as she threw it to the floor and laid her head back against the cushions. Her eyes were glossed over and her lips were moist. Her chest was quickly moving up and down; her breaths were short and fast. It was the most beautiful sight he had seen.

"Stop it," those lips murmured gently. His eyes met hers. Her arms found their way around his shoulders again and pulled him down slowly, seductively, until their chests were flush against one another's.

"Stop what?" he wondered softly, his lips brushing against hers as he spoke. He brought his forearms to rest on both sides of her head again, his fingers finding her loose hair and playing with it.

"Stop staring at me," she explained with a grin. "You know it freaks me out."

"I can't help it," he reminded her just like every other time she told him to stop staring at her. He kissed the tip of her nose. "You're beautiful, Olivia. Every part of you."

She eyed him for a moment, narrowing her eyes at him playfully. She would always feel insecurities about her looks, no matter what Elliot and others said. But when Elliot told her these things in private, he made her feel like she was the most beautiful woman to ever walk the planet. Her heart would constrict with too much emotion, so much that she just wanted to burst out crying at how happy she was.

"Sweet talker," she teased quietly, brushing her lips across his.

He smirked against her lips. "You know it."

She nipped at his lips and let her hands run across his back and shoulders. She squeezed in places, caressing and massaging his muscles as she went. She often gave him massages to soothe the sore muscles he acquired from lifting weights and long workouts. His shoulders still acted up from the abuse they had endured during his years of football, too. Plus, the massages were a great way to induce heavy make-out sessions.

His trailed kisses down the side of her neck, stopping to lick at a spot at her clavicle first before moving on to her shoulder. He placed kisses across her shoulders, pushing her bra strap and the strap of her tank top off to the side. Her fingers found their way to his hair, humming with pleasure as she lightly scratched at his scalp. He traveled further down her body, pressing kisses over the fabric of her tank top as he trailed down her abdomen. A hand found its way to the hem, pushing it up slowly until he was kissing bare skin. She giggled when she felt his feather light kisses on her stomach.

"It tickles," she laughed. Her fingers curled around his ears and urged his head back up to hers. His mouth found hers urgently, his tongue snaking past her parted lips. She met his kiss with equal fervor, meeting every stroke his tongue had to offer. She felt his erection pressing into her shorts at the juncture of her thighs, causing a surge of desire to course through her body. She knew it had to be painful for him; her own desire was becoming achingly painful. She knew both of their frustrations were growing every time they did this. She definitely wanted to take that next step with him already. Maybe today was the day.

She wrapped her legs tighter around him and listened as he moaned at the feel of the tighter space. His hips thrust against hers involuntarily, wishing the layers between them didn't exist. She smirked against his lips and ran her hands down his muscled back. Her nimble fingers slipped under his T-shirt to press her hands flush against his heated skin. She always teased him that he was her own personal heater, he produced so much heat. She kneaded at his back, grabbing flesh and releasing it before smoothing her hands over the same spot. Her fingers played with the waistband of his jeans, dipping a few fingers in and feeling the edge of his boxer briefs. She debated on whether or not she should tug on his jeans to let him know exactly what she wanted.

The sound of a door closing and someone loudly clearing their throat answered her question for her.

Elliot pulled away from her harshly, his head shooting up to see someone he didn't know. Olivia leaned her head back to see what he saw and immediately shoved him off of her. He flew off of her as if scalded by hot water and ran his hand over his face. He debated on grabbing a pillow to conceal the growing bulge in his jeans before deciding it was best to not draw added attention to it.

"Mom!" Olivia exclaimed as she shot up off the couch and moved to stand in front of Elliot. She glanced at her watch. Serena was supposed to be teaching summer classes at Columbia from eight in the morning until six at night. "What are you doing home so early?"

Serena Benson set her purse and briefcase down on the chair next to the door. She took in the teenager's appearance in front of her. Their clothes were disheveled and her daughter's hair was mussed. Her eyes fell to her daughter's bra strap hanging loosely on her arm. She watched as she adjusted the hemline of her tank top, tugging it back to her waistline and twisting it back around to her front. The young man behind her shifted uncomfortably, his hands going to his hips while she heard him take several deep breaths. She had obviously gotten home just in time before her daughter made a foolish mistake.

"The Dean decided to let everyone out early because the air conditioning broke and maintenance can't fix it in one day," she calmly explained, folding her arms in front of her. She watched as her daughter smoothed a strand of hair behind her ear and focused her eyes on the ground. The boy behind her avoided her gaze just as well. "Who is this young man?"

Olivia glanced up at her mom, her breath catching for a moment. She knew this day had been coming. She just didn't think it would happen this way. She adjusted the straps that had fallen to rest on her arm and motioned behind her to Elliot. "This is Elliot Stabler, my boyfriend. El, this is my mom."

"It's nice to finally meet you, ma'am." Elliot moved to hold out his hand to her.

But Serena only looked at his hand with disdain. He withdrew it slowly.

"I think it's time for him to leave, Olivia," Serena said, the firmness in her voice clear. She wasn't just suggesting it, she was ordering it.

Olivia and Elliot nodded and both moved to the front door. Elliot made sure to stay behind Olivia's body. There was no need to give Serena a target. He picked up his shoes by the door as she opened it for him and let him pass through in front of her before stepping out to join him.

"Olivia," she heard from her mom as she shut the door. She paid no mind to her mother's veiled order and walked with Elliot down the hallway.

"You should really get back in there," Elliot suggested, leaning against the nearest wall and slipping his shoes on.

"Why? So she can yell at me right away?" Olivia said sarcastically. "No, thank you."

"You are going back, though, right?"

"Eventually. As soon as you leave, I will."

He took her hand and led them to the doors to the stairs. They walked down the four flights of stairs in silence, both of their hearts still racing furiously. Elliot's palms were still sweating from being caught. His pants were still tight but bearably so. He could feel Olivia's fingers running over his knuckles soothingly.

"I'm sorry you had to meet my mom that way," Olivia spoke when they got outside, her eyes glued to the ground, her voice meek and unlike her.

Elliot waved it off. "That's okay. At least I know this way she'll never forget who I am," he tried to laugh it off. He glanced over at her and noticed that she wasn't laughing. He stopped them once they got to his car, turning to face her. He lifted her chin up so he could see her eyes and understand her troubles. "What's wrong?"

"I'm thinking…" she took a deep breath and looked up at him through her lashes, "I'm thinking I should have told my mom about you sooner and maybe we could have avoided this embarrassing episode."

"Hey," he exhaled, his palm cupping her face. He leaned back against his car door. "Even if I had met your mom two years ago, her walking in on us was probably bound to happen sooner or later. Especially with the way our hormones are raging."

She grinned at his words. She knew he had a point, and he was hardly ever the rational one. It had always seemed like it was too good to be true that Serena hadn't known about Elliot. She got to live in her own world of perfectness with him while her mother was none the wiser. Her life had been how she had always wanted it.

"I just wish we had had more time together," she whispered, her eyes peeking up at him. "Just you and me. And that no one knew about us yet."

"Baby, we've been going out for nine months now and most of that was during school," he chuckled. "People were bound to know about us."

"I know." She leaned into him, hugging her arms to herself and flattening her palms against his chest. "I just want you to myself right now. I want to be selfish."

"Then be selfish. I feel the same way a lot of the time," he revealed. He rubbed his hands up and down her back, resting his cheek on top of her head. He swayed them silently, letting life pass them by on the sidewalks of New York. His eyes worked their way up the brick building, counting until he found her windows. The curtains were pulled back from the living room window but he didn't see Serena's face. It didn't matter; he knew she was watching.

"I'm still sorry you had to meet my mom that way," he heard her say against his chest. "But in case you were wondering, she's always like that."

"What, cold and detached?"

She nodded. "Pretty much. At least, she is when she's not yelling at me or throwing things at me."

He squeezed her tight. "Don't worry. Pretty soon, you'll be at college and we'll get to visit each other as often as possible and we won't have to worry about your mom. And then, after all of that, we'll be on our own together."

"Forever?"

"As long as life allows."

He felt her hum course through his chest. His biggest goal in life was simply to make her happy. They could both be poor and have the worst jobs in the world, a crappy home, but as long as he had the power to make her happy, he knew he was doing something right.

"You're still a sweet talker," she reiterated. She pulled back from his chest and smiled at him. She pulled his face closer with her hands. "And I love you."

She kissed him slowly and sensuously, though mindful she was in public. Neither one of them was big on public displays of affection but every once in a while they just couldn't help it.

"I love you, too," he said, punctuating his words with a kiss. "You gonna be okay here if I leave?"

She nodded. "I'll be fine. I can take her if anything happens."

He hesitated at the sound of that. "If you need me to stay, I ca.."

"I was joking, El," she chuckled. "I can guarantee that she's going to yell at me, tell me to be more ladylike, and she'll probably try to give me 'the talk.'"

He pointed a finger at her and looked at her seriously. "Now, you make sure you listen to her, young lady. I think you need to know all about the birds and the bees before you're really ready to take that next step in this relationship. So many times, I've had to ward off your advances."

She laughed loudly, causing some of her neighbors to look out their windows at the couple. She definitely had one of the most infectious laughs he'd ever heard. He laughed right alongside her, his loud baritone laugh filling the street.

"You're one to talk, horny." She pushed a finger into his chest. "I ward off advances from you, not the other way around."

His eyebrows rose. "Can you blame a guy for trying? Have you seen you?"

She just smirked and stepped out of his arms. "Goodbye, Elliot."

His mouth hung wide open and his arms stretched out. "Just like that, you're gonna make me leave?"

She nodded and took a step backwards. The smirk never left her face. He loved that teasing smirk.

"Okay, I see how it is," he said, playing along. "Will I at least see you this weekend?"

"If the witch lets me out of the dungeon," she joked but he knew she was serious. She waved at him from the stairs, a pouty look on her face. She would rather him stay with her than leave but when it came to the wrath of Serena Benson…She didn't think he was ready for that yet. Not when he had a temper he hadn't learned to control yet. And certainly not when Serena was already upstairs developing ammunition.

"I'll see you on Saturday," he called out to her wave. He rounded his car and opened the driver's side door. He looked back at her. "I love you."

Her face morphed into a beautiful smile. "I love you."

He waited until she entered the building before getting in his car. He always liked to make sure she was safely inside before leaving her, something she always grumbled about but did anyway to placate him. It pained him to leave her there alone but he knew his presence would only make things worse for her.

As he pulled out of his parking space, he saw the curtains flutter back to their original resting place.

* * *

Olivia walked up the stairs as slow as she could, trying hard to delay the inevitable. She dragged her feet on the steps and tried to ignore the nervous feeling running through her. Oh, Serena was going to have her ass with this one.

She stopped outside of her door, debating on turning the door knob. She could run and never look back but she knew her mother would come looking for her. Hell, she would probably say Olivia had been kidnapped by Elliot. Serena had chosen to care about her daughter lately, wanting to know where she was going and what she was doing every time she walked out the door. All her life, that was all Olivia wanted – a mother who cared enough to know where her daughter was, how she was doing, how her life was going. Of all the times for Serena to actually care, it had to be when Olivia wanted to run and never be found.

Taking a deep breath, she slowly opened the door. She was half expecting Serena to be standing right there in the doorway, arms crossed and a sour expression on her face. She was relieved to see none of that. Instead she was greeted with silence.

Olivia tip toed around the door, putting one hand on the frame and shutting it softly. Maybe Serena was in her bedroom thinking things over. Maybe she was going to give Olivia time before she had to explain herself.

"Olivia, please come here."

Olivia pressed her forehead into the wood door, shutting her eyes tight and holding back a few choice words.

Serena was sitting there on the couch where she and Elliot had been what now seemed like hours before. She had picked up the fallen pillows and Olivia's sweatshirt and placed them on the cushions. The movie had been turned off and placed back into its case. Olivia made her way to the couch, placing her hands on the back.

Serena patted the space next to her. "Over here, please. Sit," she ordered.

She did as her mother bade. She sat as far away as possible from her mother on the couch, sitting on the edge of it. This was freaking her out more than when her mother yelled and screamed at her.

"All the times you said you were out with friends, were you lying to me?"

"No, I was honestly out with friends," Olivia assured. "But yes, Elliot was there."

Serena nodded.

"How long have you known Elliot?"

Olivia blinked. What?

"Uh..since freshman year. We were lab partners. And then we became friends."

Serena nodded. "I see. And how long have you been dating?"

Olivia's eyes found her hands. "Since November."

Serena blinked at that. She hadn't been expecting either of those answers. She had clearly underestimated her daughter.

"I see. Is Elliot in your class?"

She shook her head. "No, he graduated this year. He's going into the marines next month."

Well, at least this Elliot was younger and much closer to her age than James had been. Elliot also had a career lined up already, compared to James who had slacked off more than not. Perhaps Olivia had learned from her mistakes. However, she still didn't like the thought of her daughter dating.

She cleared her throat and angled her body to face Olivia. She cleared her throat and shifted uncomfortably and asked, "You haven't…Have…Have you had sex yet?"

"No," she answered immediately, shaking her head. She chose to interpret that her mother's question was only referring to Elliot and not to men in general. Technically, she wasn't lying. Still, she felt like she was being chastised for being too young when in only a few months she would be eighteen and legally able to do almost anything she pleased. She knew she had a clear head on her shoulders. She knew she would never dive head first into anything, anymore at least, without thinking every detail through. "We have not had sex."

Serena nodded but had no clue what to say after that. She assumed her daughter had already been told all about sex in school. It would only embarrass them both if she began talking about it now.

Imagine her surprise when she had walked in this afternoon and seen the two teenagers on the couch oblivious to her presence. She had been frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do, but somehow she knew yelling wasn't going to be the best response.

Watching her daughter outside with her boyfriend had been eye opening. She had never thought of her daughter as a passionate young woman before. She still thought of Olivia as a young girl, not even old enough for a boyfriend yet. Her hair was still pulled back in braids. She was still a tomboy who liked playing dress up in her mother's clothes. She still slept with a stuffed dog Serena had gotten her on her third birthday. She was still an innocent child who didn't deserve to have an alcoholic mother.

She glanced over at her daughter. Olivia was staring at her feet, her fingers moving nervously on her lap. She bounced one leg up and down, a habit that normally annoyed Serena but she kept her mouth shut. Her baby girl seemed so grown up right now. She had turned into a gorgeous young woman. She had known when her daughter was still a baby that one day she would turn heads left and right. She was a woman who enjoyed sports and didn't mind getting dirty but she still cared about her appearance. Often times when she looked at her, she tried to pinpoint which traits she had gotten from her father. Her deep tan coloring, her dark brown hair, her height – she knew these things came from the man that had raped her. As much as she hated the man, she couldn't help but be thankful for her daughter. She hadn't always showed Olivia how much she loved her; she hadn't always handled her rape in the best manner. She needed to take the opportunity that had been presented to her. She needed to be a mother.

Serena gapped for a few moments before finding her voice. "Is there anything you need to talk to me about?"

Olivia looked over at her. Her expression was puzzled. "Like what?"

"Like methods of birth control and such," Serena fumbled out. Olivia jumped off the couch like she had seen a spider.

"Mom, please," Olivia begged her to stop, her face crinkling up with disgust and embarrassment.

"Sit back down, Olivia," Serena commanded. She was just as uncomfortable but she was determined to be a mother. Olivia did as she was told. "This is important, Olivia. It's imperative young people - all people really - be prepared."

"Um, not that it's any of your business but I'm on birth control," she confessed, still avoiding her mother's eyes.

"Since when?" Serena started, eyes wide and mouth gapping open.

"Since last month," Olivia revealed. If her mother cared enough to ask, it was either important or just another piece of ammunition. "I went to the clinic by Columbia."

Serena knew which clinic she was talking about. Students of Columbia were told to go there when they needed free condoms and birth control. No questions were asked and the clinic was happy to provide its services to the students. Since the students were going to have sex no matter what, at least they would be prepared.

"It's just a precaution," Olivia continued to say, "so there's no need for you to freak out about it."

She leaned back into the cushions, slipping her sweatshirt on before crossing her arms and her legs at the ankles. The last thing she wanted was for her mom to know about her impending sex life. She had sworn she was going to take the secret of using birth control to her grave. It was odd having her mother ask her these questions when before Serena couldn't even ask how her day was going. She leaned her head against the back of the couch, counting the lines on the ceiling in attempt to forget she was having a conversation about sex with her mother.

"I'm proud of you for that," she heard Serena speak quietly. She rolled her head to the side and looked at her mother. Serena met her eyes. "It shows a lot of responsibility on your part."

"Thank you," she said softly. Mother and daughter stared at one another for a long moment, both seeing the other in a new light.

"I take it you and Elliot are serious then."

Olivia nodded. "Pretty serious. We've already talked about living together when I'm done with college."

Serena's stomach did a somersault with that statement. While nervous to hear that they were already talking about living together, she was relieved to know it wasn't until after Olivia graduated from college.

"How much do you know about Elliot?"

Knowing her mother was fishing, Olivia decided to hold nothing back. "Pretty much everything. I know he's going into the marines but he's not sure if he wants to be a career marine or just serve the minimum. I know he hates his father but he still wants his approval but he doesn't want to be a cop like his dad is. I know he has an older brother who's pretty nice. I know he has a temper sometimes and he's overprotective but he's working on that. He makes me feel like I can be myself when I'm with him."

Serena listened to her daughter's voice become dreamy and thoughtful as she spoke of her boyfriend. It was strange knowing her daughter had such feelings. Serena had certainly never felt like that towards a man in a long while. Not since before the rape.

"It sounds like you love him very much," she spoke gently.

Olivia nodded and smiled to herself. "I do. Very much."

'_My heart feels heavy; my feet feel light_

_I shake all over but I feel all right_

_I never felt like this before_

_Something's got a hold of me and it won't let go_

_I never thought it could happen to me_

_Got me happy when I'm in misery_

_I never thought it could be this way_

_Love's sure gonna put a hurting on me_

_I said baby, oh, it must be love'_

* * *

Reviews are much appreciated and truly make my day!


	7. On Our Way

A/N: So sorry about the delay. College homework is a bitch. Luckily, chapter 8 is already well in the works so hopefully the wait won't be too long. Thanks so much to everyone who's still reading this!

The song is 'On Our Way' by Christina Aguilera. I wish I owned it but I don't.

* * *

'_Me and you – we're different_

_Don't always see eye to eye_

_You go left and I go right_

_And sometimes we even fight_

_That don't mean that I won't need a friend_

_You and me – we're in this 'til the end'_

**August 1, 1981 8:51AM**

**Benson Apartment**

Olivia groaned when she felt the rays of the sun peaking through her window, warming her face and brightening the room. She rolled over and pulled the blanket up higher to cover her face to block out the sun. She really needed to talk to her mom about some curtains for her room.

She snuggled her cheek into her pillow, closing her eyes tight and sinking further into her mattress. She had only fallen asleep six hours ago after a long night of talking to Lucy on the phone. Her friend had broken up with yet another boyfriend but she was second guessing herself. Olivia had spent most of their conversation reminding Lucy of what a jackass her boyfriend had been. Lucy had in turn broken down and admitted she actually had feelings for Shayne. Olivia told her to go for it, tell him how she felt; Lucy was too chicken to do it, though, and more of a traditionalist. She wanted the man to ask her out, not the other way around. And she was worried that Shayne wouldn't want to go out with a high school student since he was going to college.

Olivia rolled over again, checking the time on her alarm clock – 9:00AM. Another hour and Elliot would arrive to endure the brunch from hell. Her mother had actually insisted that Elliot come over for brunch so she could get to know him. Olivia had been hesitant, wondering what kind of game Serena was trying to play.

"It's been three weeks since I even found out about him, Olivia," Serena had argued. "I think it's about time the two of us sat down to have a chat."

Elliot had readily agreed when Olivia told him about it the following day. He wanted Serena to get to know him, to see that he wasn't a bad influence on his daughter, that he was in love with Olivia. Olivia had promptly looked at him like he was crazy but she understand his intentions.

Her mother had been acting strange ever since that day she walked in on them a few weeks ago. She had been coming home on time from work and sometimes a little earlier. She wanted to talk more about how their days had gone. She wasn't drinking as much.

It was nice to finally have a mother, but she felt like she had lost some of the freedom in her relationship with Elliot. Before, she had been able to stay out for hours at night by just telling her mom that she was hanging out with friends. Now, she felt like her mother's eyes were always watching her, always examining her. She felt like she was being judged, like every time her mother looked at her with a certain stare she was being told that it wasn't proper for her to be in love with someone. And she and Elliot hadn't even done anything yet!

A knock on her door caused her to open her eyes again. Her mother stood in the doorway, the door cracked open so she could peak her head inside.

"It's about time for you to be up, Olivia," Serena advised in a motherly voice.

That voice was another thing that was grating on Olivia's nerves.

"I'm awake, mom," Olivia told her, trying hard not to sound too annoyed.

Serena stepped further inside the room. "Well, how about you get up then?" she suggested, her eyebrows lifting. "You can help me with brunch."

Olivia couldn't remember the last time she had actually seen her mother cook. Ever since Olivia taught herself to cook, she had prepared most of their dinners and the occasional breakfast. The thought of Serena preparing brunch for them today was rather comical. She would have to make sure Serena didn't burn the place down trying to figure out how to work the stove.

"Give me a minute and I'll be out," Olivia conceded. Her mother nodded and disappeared from the doorframe. She threw the covers off and groaned when she put her feet on the ground. As excited as she was to see Elliot, brunch with her mom just wasn't worth it.

E

O

She stepping into the kitchen ten minutes later fully dressed and hair coiffed. She wasn't the type go for the giant hair like some of the other girls her age but she at least made a slight effort to fit in. For the most part, she was her own person. She didn't need the opinions of others to make her feel special or important. But every once in a while, her insecure inner being would pop out and proceed to make her feel the ugly duckling.

So every once in a while she would throw some make-up on and tease up her shoulder length hair, squeeze into skinny jeans and an outrageous top and let people compliment her as she walked down the halls of school. Of course, she would never shy away from sports with all of that on, though. It made her feel good to know other people thought she was attractive. A few years ago, she was walking down the halls with her eyes on the ground wearing baggy clothes. Now she didn't mind if she was seen. Her skin was hardly ever bruised and battered these days. There were no cuts on her arms. Just scars from fights of the past and even those weren't all that obvious to the unknowing eye.

"Did you actually make those?" Olivia blurted out upon seeing chocolate chip muffins on the counter. She hadn't meant to say that out loud with such a scoff but she couldn't recall ever seeing her mother bake anything.

Serena looked up from slicing some apples. "Yes, I did. Not from scratch but from that Betty Crocker mix. I hadn't realized she made so many different cake mixes."

Olivia chuckled. "You know the person that makes the mixes isn't actually a woman, right?"

"Yes, I know, but it's so much easier to refer to the company as a woman since they named it after one," Serena said, seeming to enjoy acting like a caring mother. She motioned over to the stove where she had some sausage cooking. "Does Elliot like sausage?"

Olivia nodded slowly. Serena was really taking this brunch thing seriously. "Elliot likes all kinds of meat and just about everything else in between."

Serena finished slicing fruit for the plate she was preparing and set it down on the table. The table that normally had all of her school papers on it. The table that was now clean.

"I was thinking about making eggs," she heard her mom say, "but I was going to wait until he got here before I did so."

"Why are you being nice all of a sudden?" Olivia couldn't help but blurt out. She mentally slapped herself but kept a straight face.

Serena straightened her back and turned to face her daughter. She had known her behavior would appear strange to Olivia but she wanted to let her know she was trying.

"I'd like to get to know this young man you spend so much time with, Olivia," Serena spoke deliberately. "He means a great deal to you and," here she took a deep breath, "I'd liked to be included in your life."

Olivia knitted her eyebrows, her face scrunching up with confusion.

"You're growing up now and pretty soon you'll be going away to college and forming your own life," Serena elaborated, a sad smile on her face. "And I was hoping maybe we could start building a new relationship; a better one."

Olivia's body posture crumbled a bit at that. Great, in other words, her mother thought she hated her. There were times Olivia had found herself cursing her mother's name, but she had to admit – she liked the new Serena. She liked the effort she was making to restore their broken relationship. She had been snappy and angry at her mom when all her mom wanted was for Olivia to give her a chance.

Serena looked at her daughter longingly. She wanted to hug her, to beg her to be given a chance. In some ways, her relationship with Olivia reminded her of her own mother's relationship with her. Her own mother had been distant, seemingly uncaring about her children. But back in the day, that's just how it was. She hadn't realized how much of her own mother's parenting had rubbed off on herself.

"You know, I haven't even met Elliot's mom yet," Olivia commented out of nowhere. It was her way of extending the olive branch. She moved over to the stove and turned the sausage links so they would brown evenly. "But I have met his brother and he seemed pretty interesting. I also know his uncle Frank. "

"Is his brother older or younger?"

"Older; he's twenty-four."

"Why haven't you met his mother yet?"

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know," was her answer, her tone light, her voice high pitched. "We don't really talk about it."

"Do you think you'll meet her soon?"

"Maybe, I don't know," she shrugged again. Elliot had given her grief for not introducing him to Serena but she had never really said anything about him introducing her to his mom. She'd have to make a note to give him hell for that later.

"Oh," Serena exclaimed, catching sight of the clock on the microwave, "I need to pick up croissants from the bakery down the street."

Olivia looked over at her mom. "I can run down and do it."

Serena looked at her daughter, surprised at her words. "You don't mind?" She went to her purse on the lone chair next to the front door.

Olivia shook her head and followed. "No, not at all."

Serena pulled some bills from her wallet and handed them to her daughter. "Get as many as you want."

E

O

Olivia halted her steps outside the apartment door. She could hear voices inside, voices that weren't there when she left ten minutes ago.

She opened the door to see Elliot standing in the entryway, talking to her mother who she assumed was still in the kitchen.

"It was nice but I prefer the city for some reason," Elliot was saying. Olivia could only assume her mother had asked him where he lived. He glanced over at her when he heard the door open and smiled when he saw her. She came up and ran a hand over his back, hesitant to kiss him with her mother present. He must have been, too. He kept his hands in his pockets but the look on his face told her he wanted to sweep her up into his arms.

"It was quite a culture shock when I moved to the city in the sixties for college," Serena was saying, moving around in the kitchen. "My parents were hesitant but they knew I would get a good education at Columbia."

Olivia looked at Elliot with a nervous expression, silently asking him if everything was going okay. He nodded everything was okay and took the bag from her hands. They walked into the kitchen, letting her mother know she was back. Olivia watched as her mom prepared eggs, slipping right into the domestic role with ease.

"How long have you been here?" Olivia directed at Elliot.

"Just a couple of minutes," he assured her, knowing she was fishing for any sign of distress. "Your mom and I were just talking about childhood homes."

Good. That was a nice, safe topic for them to talk about. Although, Olivia had the feeling her mom was saving the hard hitting stuff until their meal.

"I'm almost done here, Olivia. Would you mind setting the table?"

Olivia agreed and, with Elliot's help, set the table. She smiled at the sight of the centerpiece; it hadn't been there when she left.

"I thought your mom would like me better if I brought flowers for the two of you," Elliot murmured in her ear as he passed behind her. Inside the glass vase was a mixture of daisies and geraniums with a red rose here and there. She leaned forward to inhale the sweet scent of the flora, closing her eyes and praying that the brunch would go well.

A few minutes later, Serena set the casserole dish containing the eggs onto the table and they all sat down to eat. Serena sat at the head of the table while Elliot sat to her left and Olivia to her right.

"So, tell me Elliot," Serena started right in, "what do your parents do for a living?"

Elliot swallowed the bite of eggs he had just put in his mouth. "My dad's a cop with the two-three out of Queens and my mom has always been a stay at home mom. She does paintings and sells them along the New Jersey boardwalk during the summer, though. My uncle owns the summer house we stay at during the summer in Long Beach."

"Olivia was telling me about your uncle earlier. What does he do?"

"He owns a bar outside of Manhattan and he's been nice enough to let me work there."

Serena looked a little shocked. "You can work at a bar even though you're not twenty one?"

Elliot and Olivia smirked. "Well, it obviously helps that my uncle's the owner but I mostly clean the place up and help stock the deliveries. My uncle has a bad back so I take care of the heavy lifting for him. I mostly work during the day but I help cover other people shifts, too. I was looking into other part time jobs but my uncle said my first focus needs to be school and the marines right now."

Serena seemed surprised at that. She was expecting him to have a job at his local deli or grocery store; something easy and mundane like most boys his age, not be a devoted employee for his uncle. It said a lot about his character that he was willing to have numerous jobs just to save up money for his future.

"Yes, Olivia told me about the marines. What made you decide on that?" Serena continued to hound.

Elliot cleared his throat and set down his fork. This woman was sure making it hard to eat.

"Well, when I decided to enter the marines, I saw that as my only option," he explained to her. "My grades weren't good enough for college and I couldn't really see myself working at my uncle's bar for the rest of my life so I thought I would see what the marines had to offer me."

Serena nodded, her attention turning to her orange juice. She took a few small sips, her eyes lingering on Elliot who had resumed his focus on his eggs. She still wasn't quite sure how she felt about Olivia's boyfriend but she supposed Olivia could do much worse. She had seen some of the young people going to Olivia's school and their styles and attitudes left much to be desired.

Serena cleared her throat and braved herself for her next question.

"Elliot, Olivia tells me that she hasn't met your parents yet." Elliot snapped his head in her direction, pausing briefly to look at Olivia. "I'm curious as to why it's taken you both so long to introduce each other to your families."

"Yes, Elliot," Olivia piped in, a grin in her voice. She sat back in her chair and sipped at her orange juice. "Why is that?"

Elliot sent her a hard stare telling her he didn't appreciate the new line of questioning. He knew she hadn't set it up to ambush him this way, but he didn't think she would ever talk to her mother about personal topics they discussed when they were alone.

"I, uh, I…don't know. Just busy, I guess," was the condensed version he gave Serena. The safe version. He didn't want Olivia meeting his father because he was a no good jackass who depended on booze and violence to make it through his day. He didn't want her meeting his mother because he could never trust what kind of a mood she would be in day after day. It was just easier telling Olivia some other time. "I actually really don't want to talk about it, if you don't mind."

Serena had to nod at his polite manner, backing out of the line of questioning. Looking at the angry scowl on Olivia's face, she was sure her daughter would be questioning him about it in depth later.

He gripped at his napkin, debating whether or not he should bring up the topic that had been plaguing him since Olivia had first told him. He rubbed his palms on his denim clad thighs, hoping his nerves weren't obvious. The brunch was going smoother than he had predicted but he knew Serena could probably find ways to make his life hell somewhere down the road.

"Um, you work at Columbia, right?" he asked after a long, pregnant pause. Serena nodded that she did. "It must have taken a lot of courage to go back."

Serena looked at him wide eyed, stunned, in shock. Her fork paused midway to her mouth, her hands showing no sign of moving. Even Olivia paused, her body unmoving as she stared at him. He was beginning to think he royally screwed up when Serena spoke.

"Yes, I suppose it did," she murmured quietly. Her eyes turned towards the table. "I'm surprised Olivia told you about that."

"Yeah, she told me about that the first year we knew each other," he nodded.

Serena glanced over at her daughter, who was wisely keeping her eyes on her plate. She couldn't believe Olivia had told him of her rape. She couldn't believe Olivia would tell him of how she had come to be. It was something she considered to be so private, so personal. She hadn't told anyone other than her parents and here Olivia was telling her boyfriend and god only knew who else.

"I don't know that I would have had the courage to go back if that had happened to me," Elliot continued to speak. "I know I'd definitely want to beat the guy up but I probably would've moved and started my life over somewhere else. You're pretty brave."

Serena cleared her throat. "Thank you, Elliot. How old are you?"

"Uh, I'll be nineteen in October, ma'am." They had never talked about what he should call her, but Elliot figured he couldn't go wrong calling her ma'am.

Serena nodded but didn't comment. They both seemed so much older than their biological ages. She didn't know how Olivia had turned out to be so wise and knowing. When she was Olivia's age, she hadn't known what to do with her life. Her parents had all but forced her to go to college, telling her it would help her sort her life out. They were wrong; it hadn't. She had hated every minute of college after her rape, but her teachers had always told her she had a knack for English and writing. So she took their advice and became a teacher. She enjoyed it, but it wasn't what she had always dreamed of her life being.

She peered up at the teenagers from her lashes. They seemed to have an unspoken conversation going on between them. She saw Olivia smirk at Elliot, who in turn raised a brow at her. Olivia repeated his action and he nodded his head. Serena wondered what they were talking about.

"Hey, mom?" she heard Olivia call over to her. She turned to her daughter. She watched as Olivia glanced across at her boyfriend before speaking. "We were wondering if you would be okay with us going to his parent's beach house during spring break."

The look on Serena's face was priceless.

"It wouldn't be just us," Elliot rushed in quickly. "Our friends from school are invited, too. The plan's not set in stone, yet."

"Spring break is only one week," Olivia took over. "And we won't exactly be very far away. It's only about two hours away."

She was obviously outnumbered and the two had obviously thought this out. She could be mean and go with what her head was saying. Or she could try to act indifferent and go with what her heart was telling her.

"I'll have to think about it," she finally said. Elliot and Olivia glanced over at one another, knowing that was probably the best answer they were going to get out of her.

Silence fell over the table for the first time since they had all sat down to eat. The clanging of forks could be heard as they touched the bottoms of plates, scraping the remains of either eggs or sausage. Olivia was used to eating breakfast in silence so enduring the silence at the table was no great feat. Serena couldn't remember the last time she ate a breakfast that actually consisted of food and not coffee mixed with baileys. It was strange eating with her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend. Elliot was used to a hectic household every morning, although sometimes he and Olivia would eat meals in near silence. It was comforting when it was just him and her. It was an entirely different feeling eating with her and her mother. It had felt easier to endure when Serena was asking him question after question.

Finally, Serena set her fork down and asked the question the teenagers had been dreading.

"I have to ask, what are your intentions for my daughter?"

Elliot took a sip of his orange juice to ease the bread down his throat. "I'm sorry, what?" he asked her to repeat, glancing over at her.

"What are your intentions for my daughter?" Serena repeated. "Olivia tells me the two of you have already talked about living together."

"Mother, I told you we weren't going to do that until after I was done with college," Olivia reminded, her tone hissing. Why did her mother have to ruin what was turning out to be a very nice brunch? She felt her blood heating up.

"I intend to love her, ma'am," Elliot spoke softly before she could become too enraged. He glanced over at Olivia briefly before focusing his attention on Serena. "I know we're young but that doesn't mean that we don't know what we want."

E

O

**August 2, 1981 10:28PM**

**All Star Bowling Alley**

"Elliot, you gotta calm down, man," Shayne advised his friend, slipping his feet into his bowling shoes.

"I don't want to calm down," Elliot protested, cracking his knuckles. He glanced around the bowling alley. "I want to go back there and kick his ass."

"Dude, that's not going to accomplish anything," Kyle scoffed. "It's just going to get you kicked out of here and make Olivia mad."

"I don't care," he practically yelled. He spun around to face his friend. "No one talks to me like that!"

"He pissed me off, too, but there's nothing we can do about it without getting in trouble somehow."

"Is that him?" Elliot interrupted, standing on his tip toes to see around some people standing on the upper level. Shayne rolled his eyes but kept them on his friend. Someone had to be there to keep him from doing something stupid.

"Is there something I should know about, El?"

Both males turned to see Olivia standing there with Lucy and Melissa, bowling shoes in hand. Shayne's eyes bounced back and forth between Elliot and Olivia, waiting to see who would react first. To his surprise, he saw Elliot's posture slacken at the presence of his girlfriend, the fight fleeing him.

Olivia's brow was raised, a small smile playing at her lips. Elliot couldn't help but chuckle.

"No, we were just talking about something."

Olivia stepped closer, stopping to set her shoes down beside Kyle. "It didn't sound like nothing. I heard something about you looking for a guy," she recalled. She stood in front of him, tilting her head up only slightly to look in his eyes. "If there's something you need to tell me about the type of…gender…you like…"

"Shut up," Elliot stopped her, laughing. She laughed alongside him, stepping away to retrieve her shoes. She hadn't known specifically what had been going on before she got there but she could tell that his posture was stiff, agitated. Hopefully she had nipped a fight in the bud.

Kyle watched as his friend turned his back to the guy who had been causing them trouble. He looked over at Shayne. Shayne looked equally amused. Never had they seen Elliot back away from a fight, not even when he wasn't the one that started the fight to begin with. Kyle knew Elliot had a lot of pent up anger over dealing with his father and mother. Time at the gym didn't cut it half the time. He tried talking about everything with his guy friends but he held back a good portion of the details. Kyle knew he didn't want his friends making fun of him.

But Olivia…Olivia was like his therapy. The minute she stepped into the room, Elliot's stress level went down by ninety-nine percent. Even if he did get heated, like he often did when random strangers would hit on Olivia, a few simple words and touches from Olivia and Elliot went back to normal. It was like she possessed a magical spell that only she could use.

"So how are we doing teams?" Melissa asked, testing out a bowling ball. She swung it back and forth a few times before replacing it on the rack and grabbing another one. "Are we doing three teams of two like last time or two teams of three?"

"How about males versus females?" Shayne threw out there. He stood to select his ball.

"Yeah, that sounds good," Olivia agreed.

"We're going to kick your asses," Lucy taunted, standing next to Shayne. She stared at the back of his head, willing him to look at her. If only she had the courage to reach and touch his shoulder…

Shayne scoffed, oblivious to her stare. "Yeah, right. You're looking at pros here."

Elliot looked over at Olivia. "Can I trade you Shayne for Melissa? Shayne can't play worth shit."

Olivia patted him on the shoulder. "Sorry, buddy. He's all yours," she grinned at him. Shayne was probably the worst player out of them all but lucky for all of them, most of the time they only played for fun.

In no time at all, they were set up and bowling their first sets. Shayne and Lucy provided the heckling from the side when members from the opposite team were up to bowl. In the beginning it was easy to ignore, but as the game progressed and the boys found themselves short a good number of points, people became irritated.

"Lucy, if you don't shut up, I'm gonna hurl this ball at you," Elliot threatened angrily, trying to line up perfectly for a strike.

"Way to take it like a man, Elliot," Melissa teased, standing behind him.

His shoulders dropped as he turned to look at her. "I can't do this with all of you watching me."

Melissa held her hands up in surrender and stepped back. She snickered and sat down next to Olivia. Olivia grinned, understanding Melissa urge to burst out in laughter.

"You're just upset that a bunch of girls are beating you guys," Olivia commented. "If you don't get a strike here, we win the whole thing. There's no pressure, El."

"Don't let 'em get to you, Elliot," Kyle encouraged from the side. "We got this."

"But I will blame you if we lose," Shayne injected. Kyle punched him on the arm. Rubbing his sore arm and shooting a dirty look at Kyle he added, "But I have faith in you, man!"

Shaking her head, Olivia turned her head when she heard the bowling ball slam onto the lacquered lane. She held her breath watching the ball roll rapidly down to the end of the lane. She smiled when she realized what the ball was going to do. Elliot groaned when the ball only clipped three pins on the edge. The girls cheered while the guys groaned, knowing they were that much closer to losing to the girls. Elliot looked around for something to punch.

"Aw, come on, El," Olivia tried to soothe, "you can still come back from that."

He only glared at her. She tried smiling at him to get him to lighten up but he turned his back to her, waiting for the ball to return. She got up and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him from behind. She pressed a kiss to his shoulder through the thin cotton of his shirt. "You know it's only a game, right?" she murmured against his shoulder.

The noises from the bowling alley drowned out her words to anyone but him. There was a pro league practicing tonight. They had seen them before; sometimes after they were done with their set, they would hang around and watch the league practice.

He placed his arms on top of hers but didn't say anything. He was as competitive as they came. He hated to lose – in anything. But then again, so did Olivia. Maybe that was why they were so good together. Even if it was a small game like cards, Elliot would throw a fit if he lost. Most of the time it was comical but sometimes he would get that brooding expression, like now, and grow intensely quiet with anger.

"I know you hate to lose, but…"

"You're one to talk," he interrupted quickly. She squeezed her arms around him.

"But it's just a game between friends for fun," she finished.

"I don't want to lose to my girlfriend," he muttered.

"You're not losing to your girlfriend," she corrected. "You're losing to a bunch of girls."

He sighed. "Same thing."

She knew he was only complaining because he didn't want to lose in front of his buddies. He wasn't such a sore sport when they played sports alone together. He would moan and groan and pout about it for hours after a loss but he would proud of her all the same. But when he lost in front of Shayne and Kyle – the teasing was merciless.

She pouted her bottom lip, leaning around his shoulder to look at his face. "I'm not gonna throw the game just for you."

He nodded. "I know and I don't want you to. I just hate losing in front of them."

He squeezed her arms before leaning down to grab the red bowling ball. She backed up and went back to her seat. Melissa grinned at her, having heard a little of their conversation.

"He's not even the reason they're losing," Melissa whispered over to Olivia. "He has no reason to be upset."

"It's just the guy's teasing he's worried about," Olivia whispered back. "He loses at bowling to me all the time and he's never this bad."

Melissa smiled. She had never met a more adorable couple. Olivia and Elliot were rare. Too many couples were sickly sweet, their saccharine displays of affection making spectators nauseous and annoyed. Not Elliot and Olivia. While they did have their moments of public displays of affection, they were never so nauseatingly saccharine that people wanted to pelt them with food and newspapers. They never had to be all over each other every second they were together. They never had to be together every second of the day. They were their own people with their own lives but similar interests. They knew pretty much everything about each other and they never grew bored with one another. Elliot had toned down his rebellious streak he had had going on during his sophomore and junior years of high school. He had removed the earring he'd gotten one of those years, probably at the insisting of Olivia sometime before they even started dating. Olivia had come out of the shell she'd had since elementary school. She talked to more people now, had more friends, probably because people had finally noticed she existed once she started hanging out with Elliot. They were a perfect couple; a couple Melissa could look to as her example that not all relationships were bad.

E

O

"I swear, sometimes I just want to punch Shayne," Elliot was saying as he walked hand in hand with Olivia down the streets of New York. It wasn't too late that the streets were crowded with the seedy people who only showed their faces at night. "He is so…so…ugh, I can't even think of a word!"

"Oblivious," Olivia supplied. "Let him be. He's just a goofball."

"A goofball I want to beat up."

She squeezed his arm with hers and reached over to pat his arm.

"He's just being Shayne," Olivia tried to defend. Her voice was tired and she struggled to match her steps to his in her tired state. "He doesn't know any better."

Elliot remained silent, picking up her silent clues to drop the subject. He slid his arm out of hers and wrapped it around her waist. She smiled lazily when he drew her close to his body. He pressed a kiss to her temple, letting his lips linger at the edge of her hair. It was the simple moments like this she treasured more than anything. She didn't really have anything major to compare the little moments to, like a surprise trip to an exotic location or even sex, but she'd heard enough horror stories to know that if the little gestures dwindled down to nothing, the relationship was as good as dead.

But there was still one little issue that was bothering her. It was a simple matter of trust…

"Hey, El, why haven't I met your mom yet?"

Her voice was meek, quiet – highly unlike her. She was never afraid to voice her opinion around him or to tell it like it was. But she didn't want him to lash out at her like he had almost done the other day. Or like every other time she tried to bring up the subject.

Elliot shrugged his shoulders and refrained from sighing heavily. He was tired of her bringing it up but he knew he had no right getting mad at her. He had met Serena now; it was only fair she meet his parents. But so far he had made sure to sabotage every attempt.

"I don't know," he finally said. "We've both been really busy this summer."

"We haven't been busy every day for the entire four years I've known you," she snapped. She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and shrugged his arm off of her. "Why don't you want to introduce me to your parents?"

He huffed. "Damn, Olivia, I told you I don't know."

She paused, taking a step back when she realized why he could be hesitant. She swallowed, pretty sure it was audible to him.

"Are you embarrassed by me? Or where I come from?" she whispered. Her eyes were stinging from the familiar feel of tears but she wasn't about to cry. Not yet, at least.

His body posture softened, his shoulders dropping and his fists unclenching. "No, baby, that's not it at all and you know it."

She did know it. He wasn't ashamed that she was the product of rape. In fact, he was her biggest supporter. He had helped her realize she could turn it around into a positive. Still, she wanted a reason why he was so hesitant for her to be known to the rest of his family. She had finally given him what he wanted and endured brunch with Serena just to make him happy. The least he could do was at least tell his mom that she existed in her son's life.

"So introduce me, Elliot! Five minutes! Five minutes to let your mom and dad know that I exist!" she practically yelled at him. They were standing no less than ten feet apart but he had never seemed so far away from her as right now. "That's all I ask."

"It's not that easy!" he yelled back. He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled deeply through his nostrils. "My dad works a lot and when he's not working, he's boozing it up and flirting with all of the women in the secretarial pool at his precinct."

"Fine, so I won't meet your dad right now," she said impatiently. "You haven't met mine for obvious reasons so I guess it's only fair."

"My mom… my mom has…mood issues," he struggled to get out. "She has medicine to help her regulate them but she doesn't like taking it. I can't always predict how she's going to be from one day to the next."

He could still remember when his mother was his best friend, his partner in crime. They would build things together and go on adventures. But then he got a little bit older and realized that not everyone's mother would

"Why doesn't she want to take her medicine?'

"She says she doesn't feel like herself. My brother and I try to get her to take it but she never does."

"Come on, Elliot. If she doesn't want to take her medication, why are you trying to force her? She doesn't feel like herself when she's on it. Who's she hurting?"

"Me, Olivia! She hurt me!" he yelled out. The shocked expression on Olivia's face showed that he had scared her with his outburst. He hadn't meant for it to come out like that. He hadn't meant for it to come out at all. He took a deep breath and continued, "She broke my fucking arm when I was eleven because she wouldn't take her medicine. She got the urge to go out in a blizzard, decided to take me with her. She swerved on the road and drove straight into a lamp post."

The tears were stinging harshly at her eyes now. She wanted nothing more than to run up to him and wrap her arms around him but she wasn't about to do that. She didn't know what to say; it was horrible that it his mother who was the one that embarrassed him but it was no excuse to refrain from introducing her.

Elliot looked at Olivia, defeat in his eyes. He had no right to say what he had. He knew she had been through much worse, every day for close to fifteen years. Sure, he had it rough every time his father came home but his father wasn't even home that much these days. His mom had found solace in her art work and it had had a calming effect on her. That was nothing compared to the hell Olivia had been through – an alcoholic mother and a father she would never meet. At least he knew his parents and had a decent relationship with both of them. At least he had siblings to talk to. Olivia didn't have any of that.

When she finally spoke, he could hear the emotion in her voice. She never let anything get to her so to see her shiny eyes staring back at him with a hard stare, he knew he would have some major groveling to do in the future. If a relationship still existed for him to grovel for, anyway.

"I'm really sorry that happened, Elliot, but you still love your mom, right?"

He nodded.

"And you still talk to her every chance you get?"

He nodded again.

"And she still loves you and wants the absolute best for you?"

Again, he nodded.

"You can't force someone to be who they're not," she advised, her hand twitching at her side. "You can only love them despite their short comings."

"I know, but you don't know what it's like," he tried to say but she kept talking.

"I'm going to walk myself home now because, for some reason, I just really don't want to be around you right now," she spoke shakily. "Don't bother to call or come over until you're ready to tell me I can meet your mom. It doesn't have to be tomorrow or even the day after that. But I need a promise that you'll do it."

"I will," he choked out.

She nodded. "I want to believe you…"

She gazed at him longingly, a little piece of her telling her to stay and keeping hashing it out with him. But a larger part of her didn't want to look at him anymore that night. All her life, she had struggled to deal with her identity. She was always very aware that kids didn't want to be friends with a kid whose mom was a drunk. And their parents didn't want their children hanging around the child of a drunk. Every time Elliot told her he didn't know when she would meet Bernie, it was like her childhood all over again. She could practically hear the kids saying she 'wasn't allowed to come over and play yet, maybe tomorrow.' She'd hated the depressing and lonely feelings she'd had then and she wasn't any more used to them now.

She turned on her heel and steadily walked away.

Elliot could only stare at her retreating back, his hand reaching out for her but his voice unable to function. He tried telling his feet he wanted to move but they remained rooted to the ground.

Oh, yeah. He had a lot of groveling to do.

'_Together we'll weather many storms as family_

_That bond is forever_

_Bigger than most anything_

_The love I feel for you grows every day_

_The more we get to learn from our mistakes'_


	8. I Am

A/N: This chapter heeds a strong M rating. You have all been warned. The song in this chapter is 'I Am' by Christina Aguilera and does not belong to me.

* * *

'_I am timid and_

_I am oversensitive _

_I am a lioness_

_I am tired and defensive_

_You take me in your arms_

_And I fold into you_

_I have insecurities _

_You show me I am beautiful'_

**August 7, 1981 7:53PM**

**Benson Apartment**

Elliot stood outside apartment number 37 patiently, waiting for Olivia to answer the door. He stepped back away from the door, kicking his feet at the ground and listening for the sound of her footsteps. He could hear televisions playing faintly in the background, one from somewhere down the hall and Olivia's. The floor was surprisingly quiet for a Friday night. Most of the occupants were families but Elliot knew of a few single people that lived on Olivia's floor. Most of the time, he would hear children screaming or laughing and parents arguing. It was odd to hear virtually no noise for once.

He heard the locks click open before he saw her smiling face.

"It's about time you got here," Olivia said by way of greeting. "I was starting to get worried about you."

She opened the door wide enough for him to step through before shutting it behind him. She clicked the locks back into place one by one, knowing if she didn't do it immediately, he would. It was cute the way he worried about her safety but sometimes it was just downright annoying.

"I had a meeting with my recruiting officer and then I had to stock the bar for uncle Frank real quick," Elliot explained, removing his shoes by the door. "If I had stayed five minutes more, he would've roped me into working tonight."

Olivia shook her head vehemently. "No, he would not have," she guaranteed him. "I would've hunted you down and dragged you back here."

He grinned at her and said, "You wouldn't have had to drag me anywhere. I'll always follow you willingly."

"Corny," she muttered as she stepped past him. His grin only amplified. He followed her into the kitchen. "What do you want to drink?"

"Root beer, please."

She pointed to the fridge with a straight face. "You know where it is."

He chuckled and shook his head at her, his shoulders shaking from his laughs. He stepped up behind her at the counter to see what she was doing. In front of her was a bowl of popcorn, freshly popped. He dipped a hand in front of her vision and stole a handful of the popped corn, stuffing it in his mouth before moving away. He stepped over to the fridge, leaning down once he opened the door to find the root beer.

"Grab me one while you're in there," Olivia called over. He shot her a glance over his shoulder and was met with a pouty expression. With a sigh, he grabbed another root beer from the cold shelf and shut the door. God, he was so whipped.

"What time did it start?" he asked, motioning towards the television.

"At seven. You've only missed two episodes."

Olivia had invited him over to watch an I Love Lucy marathon all night. Her mother was away for the weekend in Connecticut at an English conference. Serena had made sure Olivia understood the rules – Elliot wasn't allowed over after dark, no drinking, keep the doors and windows locked at night. Serena had embarrassingly, albeit vaguely, explained to Olivia that if Elliot did come over, all body parts should remain to their respective owner. Olivia had smiled and agreed to placate her mother, telling her Elliot had to work all weekend anyway and so did she. That had been a lie, of course, but what her mother didn't know wouldn't kill her.

Elliot waited as she set their popcorn down on the coffee table and sat down on the couch before handing her root beer to her. He watched as she brought her feet up under her before covering her legs with a blanket.

"Is that the shirt I gave you?" he noticed, squinting to see the writing. She nodded.

"It's comfy and spacious," she told him. She brought a hand up to the cotton at her abdomen, holding it out so he could see the writing. When he had been recruited for the marines, he had received two shirts. He wore one when he worked out; seeing USMC staring back at him in the mirror made him push himself further. He gave the other to Olivia and told her to wear it and think of him. It was a size large, whereas she wore a size medium or small, but she hadn't cared. She mainly wore it to sleep in. "You need to get another one my size I can actually wear out in public."

"You can wear that one in public," he told her. He sat down next to her, popping open his soda can and taking a long drink.

She scoffed. "I don't want to look like a slob, El."

"You don't," he assured. He moved some hair away from her face. "You look sexy."

"Thank you," she smiled at him, "but I am still never walking out of the apartment like this."

He slung an arm over the back of the couch, his fingertips dancing across her left shoulder. She snuggled into his side, reaching for the remote to turn the volume back up. He put his feet on the coffee table, leaning back into the cushions of the couch, wincing when he heard a crinkle noise from the pocket of his sweatpants. Olivia brightened up next to him, her back going straight and looking at him with excitement.

"Did you bring it?" she asked excitedly.

He groaned and produced what she wanted from his pocket.

"I was really hoping you'd forgotten about it."

She snatched the candy bar from his hands, eagerly tearing into the Milky Way and taking a good sized bite. She moaned with pleasure as the chocolate, caramel, and nougat hit her taste buds, closing her eyes and enjoying the taste. Elliot sat back and enjoyed the show.

"I have been craving this all week. There's no way I'd forget about it."

"You're only using me for the chocolate," Elliot pouted teasingly. Olivia laughed and patted his leg.

"You finally figured it out," she teased, leaning over to kiss him before taking another bite of her candy bar.

He watched her chew slowly, her way of trying to make it last as long as she could. "Are you at least going to share?" he pouted teasingly. Half the time, he only asked to bug her. He knew she hated sharing chocolate, only did so on special occasions, but he loved asking. He thought of it as a testament of their relationship to see if she would actually give him some of her precious chocolate.

Since their fight earlier in the week, they had come back down to solid ground. She hadn't spoken to him for two days. Two very long days. But when he'd shown up at her work to pick her up one day, he'd whipped out his family photo album and went through it picture by picture with her. He'd explained he would introduce her to his mother soon, just not yet. Olivia's face had glowed when he told her he had told his mother about her existence in his life. She had told him that would placate her for the moment but she was holding him to the face to face meeting.

They had become stronger since the fight. They had never really yelled at one another like that before. Then again, they had never fought on such an emotional topic. They had disagreed on childish subjects, but they had never stayed mad at one another for longer than five minutes when they were fighting about which football team was better. Elliot now realized he couldn't hold things back from her. Perhaps he was too worried she was going to judge him or look at him differently if she knew the truth. In his heart, he knew she wouldn't. She would be accepting of his family the way he was accepting of hers. They both had a great deal of learning about the gives and takes of a relationship but there was time to figure it out together.

She glanced sideways at him, her jaw still working. She blinked at him several times, thinking intensely about the pros and cons of letting him have some of her candy bar. Finally, she moved the candy bar in front of him, offering him a bite. Only a small bite though, as he knew from past experiences. She watched intently as he leaned his neck down and bite off a small piece of chocolately, caramel goodness. He moaned seductively as he began to chew, closing his eyes and enjoying every second of torturing her.

"I hate you," she said, narrowing her eyes at him. She knew he only asked her for a bite just to get a rise out of her.

He chuckled. "Think of it as a buyer's fee," he mumbled with his mouth full and a grin on his face. "I bought it; now I want my payment."

Olivia bit back a few suggestive comments and resumed her focus on her Milky Way. "Shut up and watch the show."

E

O

"No one in their right mind would be able to eat that much cheese at one moment," Elliot commented, watching as Lucy sliced into her large block of cheese. He cringed when he watched Lucy and Ethel started cramming cheese in their mouths in their attempts to eat the entire thing before the plane landed.

"That's what makes it funny, El," Olivia explained. She popped another piece of popcorn into her mouth. She chuckled at the look on Lucy's face. "This show is so classic."

Elliot shook his head, reaching a hand for the popcorn. He shoved a handful of it in his mouth before fluffing the pillow behind his head. He had stretched out on the entire sofa, his legs resting over Olivia's lap and stretching all the way to the arm of the couch. Every once in a while, he would feel Olivia tap on his legs, signaling she wanted him to shift his weight. He had offered to move his legs but she had told him to stay put, saying she was fine and damn comfortable.

"Hmm, did I tell you that DJ's going to a party and he wants me to come?" Olivia announced, wisely choosing not to look at Elliot.

His posture straightened when his eyes snapped to her face. She continued to watch the television screen. "No, you didn't. When is it?"

"In a couple of weeks, right before school starts."

"Where is it?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I just know that his friend Andre is throwing the party."

"Have I met this Andre?" Elliot tried hard to keep the possessiveness out of his voice.

"Yes, you have," she nodded, glancing over at him. "He was at Columbus Circle last month when we went to see DJ dance."

He was quiet for a moment. He knew he had no say over whether she went or not but it still made him uneasy.

"I told him I'd go," Olivia murmured. "You'll be in North Carolina and DJ's my friend."

"I know DJ's your friend," he interrupted somewhat loudly, his tone defensive.

She looked over at him again. "Do you trust me?" she questioned him with a raised brow. She heard the nerves in his voice and she felt his muscles tensing up. They often liked to test each other, seeing how much the other would agree to before putting his or her foot down. Olivia knew she trusted Elliot with her life and she trusted him to behave himself and be faithful while he was away. But as possessive as Elliot was, she didn't know if he really trusted her on all levels yet. She knew he worried that she would cheat on him while he was away, a well founded fear put in place by his ex-girlfriend. But she was positive her actions told him she would never betray him. She hoped her future actions told him everything he needed to know about their relationship.

"Yes, I trust you," she heard him answer. "It's the guys I don't trust. A lot of guys don't like to take 'no' for an answer, Olivia."

"So it's a good thing I took that class at the gym," she pointed out, referencing the self defense class she took a few months ago.

"I'm just saying…" he faded off.

"And I'm just saying that I'm a big girl and I do have friends who are males." She stretched out next to his body, trying to tell him she wasn't starting a fight. Her legs slipped out from under his and one of them found its way on top of him. Her left arm sprawled out on top of his chest, resting her chin on her hand so she could see into his eyes. He grumbled his response, telling her wordlessly that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. He turned his eyes back to the television when he heard the theme song start up again. She rested her head on his chest and enjoyed the feel of his hand combing through her hair. It was probably the most soothing feeling she had ever felt. She could shut her eyes and be asleep within the next five minutes.

"Did I tell you that Kathy's pregnant?"

"Get out!" Olivia exclaimed, jumping up and resting her elbows on his abdomen. The smile on her face was huge.

Elliot nodded. "Yeah, I was out with my mom the other day and we saw her and her mom. Of course, my mom had to stop and talk to Kathy's mom and she found out that Kathy's four months pregnant with some guy's baby."

"You don't know who's?"

"No," he shook his head, "He's just some guy she's been seeing for the last few months."

"So it's not even the guy she cheated on you with?" The disgust was obvious in her voice.

She hated what Kathy had done to him. Even though they had been an on and off again couple for so long, it had still sliced Elliot's heart in two when he found out from half the school that Kathy was cheating on him. After a fight on the school's front lawn, though, Elliot had finally realized that she just wasn't worth it. Olivia had taken him out to eat that day, telling him she was sorry they weren't old enough to drink. Elliot had laughed and said he didn't need alcohol as long as he had her. In a way, that was their first date. Their friendship had grown one hundred times stronger after that.

"To be honest," she heard Elliot say, "I stopped caring about her a long time ago, before we even broke up. And it was nothing at all like what we have."

She trailed her fingers up his chest. "That's because we were friends first and before all of that, I thought you were an asshole."

"But I proved you wrong, right?" he asked, grinning like a fool. He felt her fingers running across the expanse of his jaw, touching lightly with her fingertips.

"Yes, but you still have your moments." Her fingers continued to roam across his face, rough and smooth altering in places. "What is this? Are you trying to grow a beard here?"

He rubbed his hand over his chin in a self conscious manner. "I'm not trying; I am. I wanna see what I look like with one. What do you think?" He moved his head to both sides, letting her get the full effect.

She inspected his hair covered face with a fine eye, her fingertips still grazing over a spot by his ear. It was different. She had seen him with his five o'clock shadow before but this was a little different. He definitely had a few days worth of hair growth started. It was kind of sexy.

"I kinda like it. It makes you look manly," she let out slowly. She examined his face again. "But you shouldn't grow it out too long. Keep it short just like this."

"I'll have to shave it off in two weeks anyway," he reminded her. "I just wanted to see how I liked it."

"Well, I think it's kinda sexy," she murmured, letting her lips graze his.

"Let's see if you think that when I really start kissing you."

He drew her body up to straddle his, his hands finding their way to the bottom of her shirt. His lips covered hers. She pressed her body close to his, her hair falling over them in a cascade of brown waves. She pulled his lower lip between her teeth before licking it to ease away the sting of her bite.

"It's just a little scratchy," she murmured in his mouth. "Nothing I can't handle."

She moaned when she felt his hands slide underneath her shirt. His hands pressed down firmly, massaging as his fingers skimmed across her vertebrae. She ground her hips down onto his as a response, swallowing his moan with her mouth. She could feel his erection pushing at the denim fabric of his jeans. For once, it didn't freak her out. She pressed her hips into his again for good measure, enjoying the sound of his strangled moan.

She trailed a path of wet kisses down his cheek. The scratchy feeling of his beard was different but she didn't hate it. His hands pushed her shirt up higher on her torso. Her right hand found the fabric of his shirt and twisted it around her fingers. She could feel his fingernails lightly scrapping against her skin, giving her chills up and down her body. She pulled back to allow him to lift the shirt from her body, exposing her bra-clad form to him. She watched with hooded eyes as he tossed it to the floor without another thought. She felt only slightly self conscious as she towered above him. She didn't flinch now when his hands met the bare flesh of her hips. His thumbs rubbed small circles right above the waistband of her jeans. With slight pressure from his fingers, she brought her body down to cover his again.

His hands roamed the expanse of her back when her lips met his. She ground her hips into his, her desire growing by the second. He allowed his hands to travel further south, running over her backside first before moving to her thighs. He squeezed the flesh there, her sweatpants allowing him to grip more flesh than he knew her jeans would. He felt his heart rate increasing when she slipped her tongue past his lips, tasting more of him. The things she did to him, he couldn't even explain. He often found himself getting excited about her just thinking about her during the day. Her voice was all the encouragement he ever needed.

So what if he was just imaging her level of readiness? She seemed ready; her actions were screaming it. But they had been in this boat before.

With all the power in him, he hesitantly pulled away.

"No, don't stop."

"Olivia," he said warningly.

"I'm serious. Don't stop," she repeated, staring into his blue eyes. Her hips involuntarily bucked against his, trying to make him aware of her desire, too. Too many times they had put a stop to their needs.

Tonight, she wanted to listen to her needs.

She stood slowly, her eyes keeping contact with his. She grabbed his hand to pull him up, too. He went willingly, his breath coming in heavy pants. Step by step, she led them down the hall. Toward her bedroom, he realized in the back of his mind.

Was she serious? Was this actually happening right now? Elliot fought the urge to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming but his limbs felt paralyzed. Well, most of them at least. He was amazed he could even put one foot in front of the other; his excitement level was increasing by the second. He told himself to take a few breaths to calm down a little. His brother's words were in the back of his mind. He didn't want to get too excited too fast. Otherwise, this would be over before it even began.

"You know what you're doing right now, don't you?" he asked her once they entered her bedroom. He had only been in here a few times and not for very long each time. The blinds were closed, making the dark blue paint on the walls look black. She reached down to turn on her bedside lamp before straightening in front of him.

"Yes, Elliot, I know what I'm implying right now," she chuckled. She watched as he shut the door behind him, part of habit more than necessity. He leaned against the door and just stared at her. She glanced at the floor quickly, suddenly very aware that she was topless. She heard his faint footsteps come closer to her, his bare feet coming into her view under her curtain of hair. He used a finger to lift her chin up so he could look at her.

"Are you sure about this?"

She smiled brightly in the dim room. "Yes, El, I'm very sure about this. I would tell you if I wasn't."

"I just…" he paused, grabbing her hands and lacing their fingers together. "I just don't want you to regret this if it's still too soon."

She melted a little at the sincerity in his voice. She would have thought he would ready and eager to move on to that next level, hardly stopping to think about it along the way.

Instead of answering him, she wrapped a hand around his neck and brought his mouth crashing down on hers. Her lips smoothed across his slowly, erasing all doubts from his mind. His hands found their way around her waist again. She couldn't help but squirm a little when his cold thumbs pressed into the warm skin on her pelvis. Her hands trailed down his sides lightly, bunching up the fabric of his shirt before drawing it up the length of his torso. She didn't want to be the only one who was naked from the waist up, although she did still have her bra on. She had no doubts that he would take care of that problem soon, though. Their lips parted long enough for her to slip the shirt off over his head and throw it to the floor. Her palms immediately fell to his chest, her fingers running over the contours of his muscled abdomen.

His arms tightened around her as he picked her up on a whim. She squealed with surprise, her lips flying from his. She laughed at the look on his face.

"I take it everything finally sunk in, huh?" she guessed.

"A little bit."

He walked the few steps to the bed before laying her out on the red comforter. Her arms fell to the side above her head. She was a little self conscious being so exposed to him but she managed to keep her arms where they were. Elliot loomed over her, placing his arms on either side of her body. They stared intently at one another, unsure of who should make the next move. Olivia decided for them by reaching up and capturing his lips between her own. She felt light fingertips dancing across her palms before lacing through her slender fingers one by one.

He pulled back after a second when a thought occurred to him.

"I don't have any condoms on me. I really love you, Liv, but I do not want to be a father right now," he said, looking straight into her eyes. He could see himself having children with her one day, but he was far from prepared for it now.

"El," she looked at him pointedly, "I'm on birth control."

Slowly, a grin crossed his face and he nodded in remembrance. She slipped a hand out of his to tug at his jeans. She stared him in the eye as she undid the buckle on his belt, her heart thundering loudly in her ears. Her pulse was going a mile a minute; she could swear he could see her chest moving from the rapid thump of her heart. She popped the button of his jeans open before he stood and removed his jeans altogether. She kept her eyes on his face, not knowing whether she should look elsewhere just yet. She had seen a man naked before but she had also been more than a little drunk at the time. This felt different. She wanted to know what he looked like, how he would feel. And he hadn't even taken off his briefs yet. She wasn't expecting it to hurt as much as it did the first time but she knew it would hurt a little.

Elliot crawled on top of her and put his hands on the waistband of her sweatpants. His eyes seemed to be asking her for permission, which she happily granted. He slid the gray pants off slowly, his eyes watching his every move. His breathing grew shallow when he dropped the pants to the floor, suddenly very aware of what they were about to do. He ran his hands up over the smooth length of her legs. She grinned when she realized he was trying to get her accustomed to his touch on other parts of her body. Sitting up, she grabbed his shoulders and drew his body over hers. She kissed him roughly and wrapped her legs around his waist. He grunted when her lower body collided with his, causing friction on his erection. Unconsciously, he ground his hips into hers. Her moans of encouragement filled the otherwise silent room.

Taking the initiative, Olivia reached behind her and unclasped her bra. She tossed it to the side, forgotten. She chuckled when she saw Elliot's expression, his mouth hanging open with astonishment. She pushed his mouth closed with finger, the butterflies in her stomach disappearing with every passing second.

"You're beautiful, Liv," Elliot murmured softly near her ear. He nipped at her lobe before trailing kisses down the side of her neck.

"You're just saying that," Olivia tried to play off. Her arms gripped his biceps; her nails scratched lightly at the surface.

He shook his head. "No, I'm not. You're beautiful in every way possible, Liv. Inside and out."

Grinning like a wild woman, Olivia settled deeper into the mattress. It was still hard for her to accept compliments, but when they came from Elliot, he made her feel like the most beautiful person to ever walk the planet.

Slowly, he worked his way down her body, her legs falling from his waist. He suckled at her neck, careful not to put too much pressure in one spot. He could feel her hands sliding across his shoulders, moving up through his hair. His lips moved past her collarbone and he peppered kisses down her cleavage. Hesitantly, he pressed his lips to her breast. This was a new step for them. Before, they had stuck to above the clothes, hardly daring to go near body parts covered by undergarments. When she didn't protest, he placed more pressure behind his kiss. His lips covered her nipple, suckling gently at the sensitive bud. Her moans of pleasure were more than enough encouragement.

After lavishing attention on both her breasts, he moved further down her body. He pressed sweet kisses to her flat stomach, years of athleticism keeping her figure svelte. His fingers trailed down her body until they reached the waistband of her underwear. Looping an index finger under them, he slowly began to pull them down. His fingers were skimming over her thighs when she squirmed under him. He immediately stopped what he was doing.

"No, keep going," she assured, laughing faintly. "It's ticklish."

Chuckling, he continued on his mission. With her underwear free of her body, he could smell her arousal in the air. Not wanting to scare her, he started kissing his way up one of her legs. For so long he had dreamed about doing this and now his dream was finally coming true. He had Olivia naked and waiting for him, waiting to take their relationship - their love - to the next level. It was the ultimate level of trust as far as he was concerned. Olivia didn't take any action lightly. Everything had its meaning. So for her to come to him and say it was the right time showed she really did trust him and love him as much as he hoped.

His palm cupped her calf as he kissed a spot by her knee.

"Elliot…" Olivia groaned, letting him know her impatience. She lifted up to lean on her elbows, looking at him with an impatient stare. He couldn't help his wandering stare that flitted to her breasts, enjoying the show she was offering.

"I want to explore," he simply said. "You can explore next time."

With a huff, she flopped back onto the mattress. He chuckled at her before returning his attention to her leg. With one hand palming her calf, he allowed his other hand to run up and down her other leg. Spreading her legs a little further apart, he traveled upward. Gripping one of her thighs with one hand, he pressed his lips to the inside of her other thigh. She squirmed beneath him, suddenly very aware she was completely naked under him.

"I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to do," he assured her. "Just let me know if you're uncomfortable and I'll stop."

Taking a deep breath, she nodded. "I trust you."

Nodding, he pressed his lips more firmly against the flesh of her thigh. A million thoughts were running through her head. Were her legs still smooth from shaving the other day? Did she look normal down there? Was she groomed well enough? Did he care if she had hair or not? Was he turned on just from looking at her? All of these questions, she would never ask him in a million years but she would think them until he told her otherwise. She felt his teeth graze her flesh before his tongue came along to soothe. She closed her eyes and enjoyed his touch.

He kisses grew closer and closer to her center. He glanced up over her body and saw her chest heaving quickly up and down in anticipation. One of her hands was gripping a handful of the comforter. He couldn't help but smile to himself at how beautiful she looked. Deciding to go for it, he latched on to her clitoris, letting his teeth graze it before running his tongue over the sensitive spot. Her back arched up off of the bed, a strangled gasp escaping her lips. Encouraged by her response, he did it again.

"How's that feel?" he whispered to her.

"Really, really good, El," she panted, her back slowly falling back against the bed. He moved up her body but kept a hand at her center, his fingers running over her moist folds.

"Open your eyes," he murmured. She did as he asked, immediately finding his eyes in the dim lighting. Her eyes were darker than normal, desire glazing them over. He could imagine his eyes looked similar. He swept her mouth with his, his tongue brushing against hers. She could taste herself on him and that just made her want him more. Her hands found their way around his neck, holding his body close. She threw a leg over his, one hand sliding down to the waistband of his briefs.

"I want these off," she murmured into his mouth. He obliged to her wishes, wiggling his hips and pushing at his briefs until they were discarded onto the floor. He pushed a finger through her folds, inserting it and testing her readiness. She moaned with pleasure, her fingers pulling at his hair. A hand traveled down until she gripped his penis in her palm. He grunted and jerked his hips into her hand. She slowly ran her fingers over the length of him, testing the feel of him. She had never touched him here before, or any man for that matter. It was different but not all that unpleasant. She pulled gently to see what he would do. She smirked against his lips when he thrust against her again. Wrapping her leg over his again, she pulled his body on top of her. She could feel him pressed against her center.

"Are you ready?" he asked, brushing feather light kisses to her lips. She nodded, opening her mouth to him to deepen the kiss.

With his penis at her entrance, he slowly pushed the head in. He stopped when he felt resistance. She tensed in his arms and inhaled sharply.

"Keep going," she murmured breathlessly, her panting breaths landing on his face.

"Baby, I'm hurting you," he cautioned, not liking the idea of causing her pain. But she chuckled in his face.

"El, I have done this before, once. I remember what it's supposed to feel like. Besides, it won't hurt as much as it did the first time."

At least, she hoped it wouldn't.

Her arms wrapped securely around his neck, she forced herself to relax when she felt him move again. He pushed a little more, inserting most of himself in her in one swift move. He pressed his lips to her shoulder, wishing she didn't have to feel any pain at all. He could feel and hear her breathing heavily as she got used to the width of him. Her grip around his shoulders was painful but he figured he deserved it for the pain he was causing her.

He waited there until her grip loosened some. She pressed kisses to his cheek, silently telling him to move. Trusting her, he began to move, sliding out slowly before thrusting back in. He kept that pace for a while, enjoying the sounds of their moans filling the room. Her lips collided with his chin, nipping and licking her way across his chin and up to his lips. Her tongue slipped past his lips, allowing his mouth to swallow up her moans. She explored the realms of his mouth, air puffing out harshly from her nose as she focused on everything that was happening to her body. The pain had lessened greatly, now only a dull feeling being faded out with every thrust of Elliot's. Her heart was racing quickly and she could feel a different type of butterfly swirling around in her stomach. She did not remember her first time being like this. Her first time had been fast and all over the place. It was nice but she hadn't known why people were always making sex out to be such a big deal.

Elliot reached down to hook one of her legs around his waist, trying to make his thrust go deeper for her pleasure. He could feel her warmth surrounding him, making him somewhat glad he wasn't wearing a condom. He had worn a condom every time with Kathy and it never felt quite like this. Actually, it was never anywhere near this. Her arousal coated him with every thrust, making it easier and more pleasurable for her. She moaned loudly when his next thrust hit her even deeper. She followed his example and wrapped her other leg around his waist. She sighed softly when she felt his penis rub up against her clitoris.

She opened her eyes, unaware she had even closed them, when she felt his lips at her breast. She put a hand on the back of his head to hold him there, thoroughly enjoying the attention he was paying her. His rhythm increased slightly, his thrusts coming faster and a little more erratically. He could feel his orgasm building and he knew this wasn't going to last as long as he wanted it to. He could only hope she wasn't far behind.

"Are you close, baby?" he uttered, his eyes closed as he continued to lavish attention to her upper body.

"Just a little bit longer, El," she managed to get out. She bit back a few sighs when he rubbed up against her clitoris a few times. She was close but she knew he had to be closer. He gritted his teeth and did his best to bring her up to his level. Her hands moved down to the small of his back before slipping down to his ass. Her fingers applied some pressure to encourage him to move faster. He granted her wish.

He tried his best to hold back, keeping his thrusts coming fast and hard. His lips found their way to her nipples again. His teeth grazed over the tip of one before deciding to bite down gently. She inhaled sharply at the sensation. She could feel pressure building in her abdomen, the feeling becoming almost painful. Elliot's thrust grew quicker and his grunts grew louder and soon she felt a warmth spread throughout her as his semen emptied inside of her. His hips kept moving, pressing harder against her until soon the pressure insider her was released in her own orgasm. Her nails clawed into his back until she came down from her high. Her limbs hugged him to her, not wanting his warmth to leave her. He whispered that he should move, that he had to be crushing her, but she was adamant in her actions.

His lips moved over hers, silently thanking her for letting them take that next step. He took his time, letting his lips move on their own accord. He wasn't in any rush.

E

O

"I thought I'd feel different."

Elliot looked over at Olivia from the doorway. He tossed the wet wash cloth into her dirty clothes hamper and returned to her side in bed.

"What do you mean?" He slid in next to her, wrapping her up in his arms and keeping her warm.

When he had gotten up earlier, he had pulled the comforter out from under her and covered her up with it. The sweat had cooled from their bodies, making them both cold in the air conditioned room. He had slipped his briefs back on and handed her his shirt that was lying on the floor before disappearing into the bathroom to grab a washcloth to clean them up. He was happy her mom was away until Sunday –two whole days away. This way, he could enjoy sleeping next to her in bed peacefully without the worry that her mother might barge in at any second.

"I don't know, just different," she shrugged. She nuzzled her cheek against his bare chest. "You always hear from everyone how sex makes them feel different afterwards. Melissa said she felt closer to Jack after they had sex for the first time."

"But Melissa and Jake broke up five months ago," Elliot pointed out. "And they knew each other for a month before they started dating."

Olivia shrugged. "I'm just telling you what she told me. I don't think he really loved her to begin with, though. I think he was just dating her so he could sleep with her and then dump her when the next girl came along."

"That's the way most guys are," Elliot said, feeling like he was revealing the secrets of men but not caring.

She hummed noncommittal and let her fingers trace invisible lines on his forearm. "Maybe we didn't need sex to be closer to each other. Maybe we're already close enough without it."

"But the sex is still a very important part," Elliot was quick to add. "Don't you think so?"

She laughed and ran her index finger across his bottom lip. "Yes, I do. Don't worry; we're not giving that up just yet." She replaced her finger with her lips and caressed his slowly.

He tightened his arms around her, a hand making its way to the bare flesh of her thigh. He gripped her thigh and brought her leg up to wrap over his hip. She curled her foot around his calf, keeping him intimately close. It felt good to feel the weight of him pressed against her, both almost as naked as the day they were born. She did feel a little different, she supposed. Maybe a little freer. Like she could now fully express her feelings and no one could tell her she wasn't allowed to feel the emotions she was feeling.

"I am not doing it again already," she laughed against his lips, feeling his erection prodding at her leg.

"Hey, the more we practice, the better we get at it," he joked. He smoothed her hair back from her face and kissed her forehead. Softly, he said, "Ignore it. I can't help it."

"Aren't you tired?" she questioned. She rolled over to glance at her clock. "It's almost two in the morning."

"I'm never tired when I'm with you," he murmured, kissing her forehead again. "I could stay up forever."

"Well, I'm sleepy." She curled up into him, her arms held tight into her chest to keep her warm. She nuzzled her nose against his chest, smiling to herself at the bizarreness of the moment. She hadn't planned to 'seduce' him; it just happened. But she didn't regret her decision in the slightest. She had listened to what her heart was telling her. She didn't want him to leave in a couple of weeks without knowing how much she was willing to commit to him.

He rested his head on top of hers, letting his hand run lazily up and down her arm. He had never felt so relaxed before. He focused on breathing slowly, matching his breathing with hers. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears growing slower and more relaxed by the minute. Maybe he would be able to sleep if he just closed his eyes and focused on the sound of her breathing.

"I don't want you to go."

He opened his eyes at the sound of Olivia's quiet voice. He tilted her face back so he could look into her eyes.

"I don't have to leave until your mom gets back on Sunday," he promised.

She shook her head. "No, I mean, I don't want you to go to North Carolina."

"Baby, I have to go."

Her eyes avoided his for a moment. "Would you stay if I asked you to?"

He hesitated, his mouth opening and closing with no words coming out. He didn't know what to say. If he said yes, he would never get to see if he could handle being in the marines. If he said no, he ran the risk of making her possibly hate him. It was a no-win situation but he had to be honest.

"I have to go, Liv," he admitted. "I made a promise and I can't back out it. Besides, I don't know what all the marines can do for me yet. I don't know where my life is going but the marines are going to help me figure everything out."

She buried her face in his chest. "I know, I know. It's a good opportunity for you and I want you to do it but I'm not ready for you to leave me." Her words were muffled by his skin but he got the gist of it. "I don't want to be alone."

"You won't be alone," he assured her, rubbing her back. "We can write each other and I can call every once in a while when I'm allowed. You have Lucy to keep you company and I know you have about a million friends at that school now."

She looked up at him with sad eyes. "I don't want anyone but you."

"Baby," he said, running a hand across her cheek.

"No, just let me feel sad right now."

"I don't want you to feel sad. I want you to be happy," he told her. "This is only gonna make us stronger, Liv. You know that, right?"

She nodded against his chest, having buried her face there again.

"I'll be counting the days until I come home," he continued, pressing a lingering kiss to her hair. "I won't even be gone that long."

"El, the longest we've been apart in three and a half years was when you couldn't go to school for a week because you had the flu," she pointed, one eye glancing up at him. "I was worried sick the entire time."

"Hey, I called you," he defended himself.

"Yeah, four days later!" she practically yelled at him. "You're going to be gone for thirteen weeks."

He shushed her and cradled her head to him. She quieted immediately, the fight disappearing from her. She knew she was just being silly. He was only going to basic training. She would see him before she knew it. Hell, she was even going to his graduation. Everything would be fine. But she hated that she had to be alone for the next few months. Alone to face the world by herself until he returned for however long.

"Are you staying all weekend?" she asked in a tiny voice. Her fingernails played across his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles.

"Until your mom comes home and kicks me out," he promised.

She was silent for a moment. She listened to the sound of his heartbeat in her ear, pressing her ear flat over his heart to hear it better. It was soothing; a sound she often used for comfort when she was sad. She focused on the beat and his presence, instead of the unpredictable future. She tried to slow her breathing to match his heartbeat, counting the beats and taking a few deep breaths to calm herself. She pressed herself closer still, savoring the warmth of him.

"I love you," he whispered in the dark.

Smiling, she whispered back, "I love you, too."

'_I am temperamental and _

_I have imperfections and_

_I am emotional_

_I am unpredictable_

_I am naked _

_I am vulnerable_

_I am a woman_

_I am opening up to you'_

_

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_

Let me know what you all think!


	9. Without You

__

A/N: Sorry it's been so long! College life has taken over worse than last year but finals week is still upon me. Plus, I was trying to get a few more chapters under my belt, but so far I only have one. Anyway, huge, major, infinite thanks to DarkAlley29 for ALL her help!

Disclaimer: The song in this chapter is 'Without You' written by Christina Aguilera. And the additional song that I recommend everybody listen to is 'Shotgun' by Junior Walker and the All Stars.

* * *

'_Have I been blind?_

_For the first time in my life_

_I feel I've opened up my eyes_

_Since you're arrived_

_Like an angel from the sky_

_I'm on a spiritual high_

_So don't you ever go away_

_I could never face_

_Losing you would kill my faith _

_In a higher place'_

**August 17, 1981 9:47pm**

"I said shot gun. Shoot him 'fore he runs now. Do the jerk, baby," Olivia sang along quietly with the radio, looking out the window at the passing scenery. The world outside was dark, the city lights growing further and further behind them as they drove.

Elliot chuckled to himself in the driver's seat. "I can't believe you like this song."

Olivia turned to look at him. "I can't believe you don't like this song," she countered with a grin.

He shrugged. "I just don't," he offered weakly.

"That is such a sad explanation," she chuckled, turning her eyes back to the window. She leaned an elbow against the door frame and cupped her head in her palm.

"It's not sad; it's just how I feel," she heard him mumble. Keeping her smirk to herself, she focused her eyes on the passing street lamps. They weren't too far outside of the city now – less than an hour - but they were far enough that when she looked up into the night sky, she could actually see stars twinkling back. She could smell the ocean from her open window. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, the salty smell filling her nostrils and surrounding her body. It was nice and warm out but the breeze from the ocean made the air a little nippy.

They were traveling to Long Beach, New York. Elliot had said he had wanted them to look at the stars and walk along the beach one last time before he left. He was cutting it close, though. He was leaving early in the morning.

"Are you sure we can get onto the beach?" she asked, glancing over at him. "We were about five seconds away from being arrested last time."

"That was only because we were on private property and the lady who lived at that house was a little crazy," he reminded her. "Even the cop said she called them for every little thing she thought looked suspicious."

"It didn't help that you were shirtless and my shirt was about two seconds from being torn in two. We could've been arrested for indecent exposure in public."

"But we weren't," he again reminded, glancing at her, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. "Don't worry; we'll be fine this time. My uncle told me about this stretch of the beach that's open to the public."

"It better be because I am not getting arrested because of you," she threatened, her tone serious but her smile telling a different story.

"Yeah, you would," he grinned cockily.

"No, I would not. I would let you take the fall and then I would come bail you out."

"You would not. Besides, if I got arrested, your mom wouldn't let me see you anymore."

"Well, she definitely wouldn't want me seeing you anymore if we were both arrested." She pondered on that for a moment. She knew she would never let him solely take the fall for something they were both responsible for but it was fun teasing him. "But all in all, I think my mom likes you for the most part."

"Yeah?" Elliot grinned happily.

She nodded. "She never really says anything bad about you and she hasn't really said anything about the amount of time we've been spending together lately. She actually understands and we talk a lot more."

"Yeah? I'm glad."

"Although, every time I leave to meet you, she does tell me that our hands are supposed to remain to ourselves," Olivia shared with a grimace.

"Does she even know we've had sex yet?" he wondered, glancing over at her quickly before turning his eyes back to the road to make his exit.

"No and she never will," she said succinctly, turning her eyes back to the road. Mumbling mostly to herself she added, "I don't think either one of us could handle that talk."

"She's not gonna think you're still a virgin once we move in together," he pointed out, pulling into a parking space by a wooden railing. "And especially not once you get pregnant."

"Whoa, what?"

Elliot looked over at her and almost laughed at her expression. She had a hand up in a stop motion and her mouth was hanging wide open. Her eyes were wide and he could see a bit of shock in them.

"Not anytime soon," he assured soothingly. "Somewhere far down the road when both of our careers are established."

Her hand dropped and her mouth closed slowly. He chuckled as he got out of his car, reaching in the back to grab a blanket before shutting the door. She scrambled to follow.

"Wait, so you definitely want kids one day?" she asked slowly, the words sounding strange coming from her mouth.

He shrugged, taking her hand. "Eventually. One day. I think we would have pretty cute kids, Liv."

She grinned, trying to picture a miniature Benson-Stabler running around. Dark brown hair and blue eyes danced around in her head.

"What about you?" she heard Elliot continue. "I thought all females wanted children."

"Not all of them," she corrected, "but I'm not really sure if I do or not."

He glanced down at her. She was wearing her flip flops so she was just a little shorter than normal. He knew she would be a fantastic mom, but she had too much doubt in herself.

"Can we talk about this later?" she begged off, her hand fidgeting at her side.

Silently agreeing, he led her down the sandy beach. Two steps in, Olivia kicked her flip flops off so they wouldn't slow her down. They walked in silence for a while, content to enjoy each other's company and listen to the roaring sound of the ocean. It was a clear night on the dark beach. A few house lights were scattered around along the length of the beach but the strength of the lights wasn't enough to see by. Luckily, the moon illuminated a pathway for them.

"It's so peaceful out here," Olivia murmured.

"Could you ever see yourself living out here one day?"

"Maybe, but you know I'm a city girl through and through."

"What about one day when you're so sick of the city but you don't want to move too far away from it?"

"Hmm, maybe. Maybe you could build it."

"What?" he laughed.

She looked over at him. "You love to build. You loved building those stools for Frank last month."

"I can't build a house, Liv. I don't even know how."

"So you can take some classes somewhere or talk to someone and find out how," she persisted. She was remembering when he had told her how much fun he always had building anything and everything he could out of Lego's. She could just picture him now – his face serious with concentration as he added Lego after Lego in the exact spot it was destined to go in on his mega structure. "Why didn't you go into architecture instead?"

He shrugged again. "I was never any good at math and you kind of need to be when you're building a house."

"I could've helped tutor you with math," she offered, hoping he would take her olive branch.

He glanced over at her with a pointed look. "We tried that, remember? I think I failed that test you were supposed to be helping me study for."

"That was not entirely my fault," she defended, giggling. "You kept looking at me with those eyes of yours."

"I'm sorry," he laughed, "I'll try not to look at you with those eyes anymore."

"No, I like those eyes," she said, her voice softening and her body curling in closer to his. "Even more so now that they lead to other things besides kissing."

"Yeah?" he leered, grinning down at her with those same eyes she was just praising. He leaned his head down to kiss her but was stopped when she put a hand to his chest.

"Oh, no. Don't you dare look at me like that now," she warned. "There are people around."

"Where? It's pitch black out." He backed up and gestured around with his arms, moving them in a circle around himself. "Nobody can see us."

She shook her head. "I don't think so, Elliot."

"Fine," he huffed. He dropped his arms but he kept his eyes on her. "But I still want my kiss."

"What if I don't want to give you one?" she said, playing hard to get.

"Then I'll have to chase you down until I get one."

She knitted her brows in confusion until he took a step forward, his face clear with determination. With a squeal, she took off down the beach running as fast as her legs would take her. She knew she wouldn't outrun him; she could already hear him closing in on her. But it was fun to try.

She felt strong arms grab her around her waist, hoisting her up in the air and spinning her in a small circle before she felt herself being lowered to the ground. Elliot's warm body pressed against hers. She still had a large grin on her face, as did he, when he moved to kiss her again. This time, she let him. She moved her lips against his slowly and savored the feel and taste of him. She could feel the soft sand on her back, still warm from the day's sun. The blanket had bunched up when he brought them both to the ground so it was pressed into her right side. She moved a hand from around his neck to push the blanket away. Elliot moved away instead.

"No," she whined.

"Relax," he chuckled, rocking back on his knees to spread the blanket out beneath them. He brushed the sand off his feet before crawling onto the blue blanket, lying down and pulling her close into his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his body, her head resting on his chest. "You cold?"

"No, I feel fine." Her voice was soft, gentle, sad. Reality was seeping into her mind. She wasn't ready for him to leave her. He was the only person who had ever really understood her – her other half. She felt comfortable around him. Safe. Loved.

"See those stars up there?" She saw Elliot's hand stretch out from above her right shoulder. She followed his pointed finger. "That's the big dipper right there so that means that we are facing east."

She looked over at him, her brow furrowed. "How do you know that? It's pitch black out."

"Because I know that when the big dipper is on my left side and I face my body this way that I'm facing east. It's a little trick I taught myself."

"What other tricks with the stars do you have?"

"Uh…that's really the only one I have," he admitted sheepishly. His eyes lit up in remembrance. "I do know that once every ten thousand years, the north and the south pole switch places."

She looked at him for a moment. "I know. I was in class with you when we learned that," she said, slapping his arm. They laughed together at his forgetfulness. She rested her head against his firm shoulder, her arm wrapping around his waist and keeping him close. Her laughs quieted, making the night seem so loud.

"I'm going to miss you so much," she murmured against his shoulder, rubbing her fingers across the fabric of his jacket.

He tilted her face up to his and ran a thumb over the smooth skin of her cheek. "Hey, we promised we wouldn't get sad."

"I'm a girl; I can't help it."

He chuckled. "Yes, I'm aware you're a girl. It's one of the things that attracts me to you."

This time, she chuckled. "Why me?"

"Why you what?" he asked, his brow knitted in confusion.

"Why did you pick me?"

His smile lit up the darkness. "Because I knew you were special. You're not like other girls, Liv. Every time I look into your eyes, I see this honesty there. I know I can trust you with anything. You don't try to act like someone else; you stay true to yourself. You've been through so much and yet you ask so little. Everything about you has always amazed me." He paused, looking from eye to eye. "I can go on and on if you want me to."

She grinned insanely. "No, I think I'm good for now but I may ask again later."

He rubbed his knuckles across the top of her head, causing her to squeal and swat his hands away.

"Not the hair!" she threatened, pulling his hand away. He only laughed harder and did it again. He was going to miss moments like these.

E

O

**August 18, 1981 7:44AM**

**Elliot's Car**

His car had never been this silent before. He would turn the radio on but when he tried that earlier, Olivia had turned it off five seconds later. She had been staring out the window ever since. He had taken hold of her hand about five minutes ago and she had had a death grip on it ever since.

"Uncle Frank told me if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask him," Elliot said, trying to strike up conversation. Olivia remained silent.

"My mom's excited to meet you," he continued on, glancing over at her quickly. "I told her about you a couple weeks ago and she's been bugging me nonstop since."

Still nothing. Huh, he thought for sure that would get her attention.

He wasn't used to her being so quiet. She had her moments, sure, but she was always…lively. This? This was just depressing. Being a female, they had both realized that statistically she would be more likely to be severely depressed on this day. But she was so strong. He honestly didn't think it would hit her as hard as it was.

He could see the airport on the horizon now, the large structure standing out in the early morning sky. His heart dropped just a little.

Frank couldn't help but smile when he saw Olivia clinging to Elliot's arm as they walked down the terminal. Elliot had his large duffel bag slung over one shoulder and he was wearing his marine T-shirt. Even from the distance he was at, he could see the tears in Olivia's eyes threatening to spill over.

"Is that her?" Bernie said from his left.

"Yep, that's her. That's Olivia."

"She's very beautiful. What's she like?" Bernie had been curious ever since her son told her about his girlfriend. He hadn't told her a lot about this Olivia but she had seen the way his eyes lit up with love when he spoke of her. That told her all she needed to know.

"She's a godsend," Frank summarized. "And she has her head on straight and a heart of gold. She's just what that boy needs to keep focused. Much better than that Kathy was."

"How long have they been dating, again?"

"Uh, almost a year I think," Frank tried to remember, beginning to walk towards Elliot to help him with his bag. "Good morning, you two."

Olivia glanced up at him, letting him know with her death stare that there was nothing happy about this particular morning. Elliot happily handed his bag to his uncle and faintly smiled at him. Bernie came closer to the group. Elliot moved closer to give his mother a hug.

"Morning, ma."

"You were gone by the time I woke up," Bernie commented, wrapping her arms tightly around her son.

"I know, ma. I went to pick up Olivia." He pulled back to pull Olivia forward. "Mom, this is my girlfriend Olivia. Liv, this is my mom Bernie."

Olivia held her hand out. "It's nice to finally meet you," she cordially greeted. She sniffled a few times and blinked to clear away any tears. "I've wanted to meet you for the longest time."

Bernie took her hand and pulled the younger woman closer. "It's so nice to meet you, dear. Tell me, how did someone as beautiful as you end up with my Elliot?"

"Ma!"

Olivia chuckled. "There's just something about him," she vaguely answered. She looked down at her hand, which was still being held by Bernie. "He's my best friend."

Bernie patted Olivia's hand. "Well, I'm glad he has you. You seem simply lovely."

Frank came over and put his hands on Bernie's shoulders to get her attention. "What do you say we let these two say goodbye?" he suggested, catching the look on Elliot's face. Pulling Bernie away a few paces, Elliot took Olivia in his arms.

"I don't want you to go," she told him, her voice muffled by his chest. "Can you change your mind?"

"No, baby, I can't," he chuckled. He rubbed his hands up and down her back, trying to soothe her. Her shoulders were heaving from the stress of trying to choke back her sobs. He pressed a kiss to her hair and whispered in her ear. "I'll be home in no time at all. Thirteen weeks is all it is."

"It just seems like a really long time."

"I'll be home by Thanksgiving," he reminded. "It'll only make us stronger."

She nodded that she remembered their conversation not so long ago. He knew the separation was going to be harder on her no matter what. He was going to be pretty busy getting his ass kicked every day but she only had school to keep her distracted for eight hours every day. He could only hope her mom wasn't going to relapse back into her old ways once Olivia was home more often.

"Are you gonna behave yourself?" he heard her mutter.

"Yes," he promised. "I'm gonna have all the marines watching me. Are you gonna behave yourself?"

She pulled back and gave him a pointed look.

"What? You ask me and I can't ask you?" he asked, his New York accent coming through full force. She smirked at him

"Of course I'm going to behave myself." Her fingers tangled in the fabric of his shirt as her eyes took him in. "You look so handsome."

He grinned cockily at her. "Thank you. I know."

She moved to slap his chest but his hand caught hers. He brought their hands to his lips and kissed them lightly. Her eyes melted at the gesture.

"I'm going to miss you so much," she whispered, tears shinning in her eyes.

"I know the feeling." He reached into his pants pocket to search for something. "I have a favor to ask you."

"Anything."

He held up his car keys for her to see. "Take care of her while I'm gone?"

Her mouth dropped open. "I thought your brother was going to take it?"

"You think I would trust my brother with my car? He can barely keep a girlfriend." He folded the keys into her hand. "I want you to take care of her. I trust you."

"Now boarding for the military flight 754 to Raleigh with continuing service to Savannah, Georgia," an announcement sounded, its loud and booming voice reigning over them all. Slipping the keys in her pocket, a strangled sob slipped past her lips. Her head fell against his chest.

"You better head over there now, Elliot," Frank said, startling them both with his presence. Nodding, Elliot tried to gently pry Olivia from his arms. The faster he did this, the less painful.

Hopefully.

"I love you," he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers.

"I love you," she smiled tearfully. "Make us proud."

With one last kiss, Elliot hoisted his bag onto his shoulder and stepped over to join his fellow marines. Olivia pressed a hand to her mouth to keep her sobs back. Bernie put her arms around the younger woman and tried to comfort her the best she could. Elliot did his best not to look behind him until he boarded the plane. He needed to keep his head clear for the mission ahead of him.

He had to put aside the fact that he was leaving his heart behind.

'_Beautiful boy_

_How on earth did I do something worth deserving you?_

_My better half_

_How I cherish through and through every part of you_

_I do_

_Loving you's made me whole_

_Now I belong_

_I found my heart_

_Promise me we'll always stay_

_The way we are today'_

_

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_

Sorry it's so short but it felt like the right place to end it! Let me know what you all think and I promise chapter 10 will be up shortly.


	10. Contigo en la Distancia

A/N: Okay I know this chapter is short but I'm trying to lay ground for future chapters and relationships. Chapter 11 is in the works, though!

Disclaimer: The song is 'Contigo en la Distancia' by Christina Aguilera.

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'_No existe un momento del dia  
En que pueda apartarte de mi  
El mundo parece distinto  
Cuando no estas junto a mi_

_No hay bella melodia  
En que no surjas tu  
Ni yo quiero escucharla  
Si no la escuchas tu'_

**August 20, 1981 11:01 AM**

**New York City Tour Service**

"Hey, Liv, come on. I know it's our last day of work together but you could at least be a little happy."

Olivia ignored the sound of DJ's voice, tuning it out along with the sounds of the city around her. She was still in a daze from Elliot leaving. It was as if a vital piece of her was missing. It was hard to get out of bed every day knowing she wouldn't be seeing Elliot for another three and a half months. She didn't think she would get out of bed at all if not for her mother reminding her of her obligations at work.

Every minute at work seemed to be drawn out, passing by slowly until Olivia was ready to go crazy. DJ made it a little better. Once she let his voice break through her fog, at least.

"Liv, are you still with me?" she heard DJ speak again. She turned her head to look at him. Instead her eyes stared straight through him. Even his goofy grin couldn't bring her out of her funk.

DJ continued to stare at her. He knew the Olivia he knew and loved was in there somewhere but he hadn't figured out a way to get her to come back to him yet. He wasn't used to this side of her. He was used to her bubbly personality and her effervescent smile bringing joy to his days. He was used to them making each other laugh during work. No sir. A depressed Olivia was an Olivia he didn't know how to deal with.

_She must really love her boyfriend to be this sad_.

DJ sat on the seat next to her. She was supposed to be cleaning the bus for the next tour. While DJ was almost done with his side, Olivia was still working on the back.

"Olivia, it's not the end of the world," he murmured to her, leaning into her so that their shoulders touched.

"Then why does it feel like it, D?" she asked tearfully. "Why does it feel like my heart's been ripped into two and I'll never see the sun again?"

"Because it's the first time the two of you have been away from one another," DJ said, revealing nothing new to her. "It's only gonna make you stronger. Now you'll both know whether this relationship is what you really want or not."

She looked up at him, her eyes finally focusing on him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean now you guys will know if the two of you are really meant to be together or not. Before, you guys lived in the same area and knew the same people and had the same interests. Now you'll both get out there in the world and experience different things separately. Hypothetically, if you weren't thinking about him at the end of the day and wishing he was there to experience everything with you then that tells you maybe the relationship all you thought it was. The same could be true for him."

"But I do wish he was here with me and experiencing everything I'm doing," Olivia reasoned.

"I know," DJ couldn't help but chuckle. "That was just hypothetical. I can see how much you love him, Liv, but it's not going to do either one of you, or me for that matter, any good being depressed until he comes home. You both have lives to live and separate missions to accomplish. He's just going on his journey a little bit sooner than you."

Olivia eyes flitted to the chair in front of her. He had a point. No one had really put it into that perspective before. Olivia knew what she wanted out of her life and that was to be a cop. It was only a matter of time until she traveled that path on her own without Elliot's help. He was traveling his path now. And if he became a career marine, she'd have to get used to him being gone much longer than thirteen weeks at a time. Provided they did actually stay together during all of this. She knew they could. Everything in her told her she was going to be with Elliot for the rest of her life but she knew anything could happen. They could grow apart. They could realize their lives were too different. They could meet other people. But she was determined to keep their relationship fresh and exciting.

"No one has had the guts to say that to me before, DJ," she told him. She grinned at him. "Thank you."

He put his arm around her and patted her shoulder. "No problem, ma. I don't like seeing you depressed. It makes me depressed. And when I'm depressed, I can't dance. You don't want that do you?"

She shook her head. "You would be unbearable if you didn't dance while we're at work."

"Plus, it's our last day of work together. Was that what was making you so depressed?" he joked. He put a hand over his mouth. "Did I misread your depression?"

"Oh, yeah, that's why I'm so down today. I don't know if I can go on without seeing you five days a week. However will I live?"

DJ glared at her. "Okay, see, what I said was believable. I had the right expression and..and infliction of the voice. Yours was just mean. Were you trying to hurt my feelings? What, you want me to be depressed with you?"

She pushed his head to the side, laughing all the while. He always put a smile on her face, no matter what.

"Shut up, you dork. Don't you have cleaning to finish?"

"At least I'm almost done. You're still back here," he fired back, flashing his pearly whites at her. He walked back up to the front of the bus. "I think my grandma moves faster than you."

"I'm just sad because it's our last day together," she covered up. She picked up the trash from the floor in front of her and slid out of the row. "The longer I take, the more time I get to spend with you."

"You know we could just call each other and hang out like normal people. I know you've been after my number since the day we met."

"I thought you knew I was stalking you in my off hours," she said innocently, her expression wide but her smile giving her away. She tried her best to furrow her brow. "I thought I was being so careful."

"Yeah, you wish you were stalking me," he mumbled loud enough for her to hear. He turned the radio on and flipped through the stations until he found a good one. When he settled on a station they both liked, he returned his focus to cleaning. He glanced back and saw Olivia bobbing her head to the music.

It was good to have her back.

E

O

**September 7, 1981 9:55AM**

**Washington High School**

Olivia walked down the halls of her school, her eyes on the paper in front of her. She had successfully made it through two classes without Elliot's presence. She hadn't seen Lucy yet, but she wasn't broken-hearted over that detail. Lucy loved to talk about the fact that Elliot was away until mid November and how Olivia was feeling with him away for so long. It got old fast and Olivia had had her fair share of Lucy's definition of good conversation. She wished Melissa hadn't graduated yet. She could really use some adult conversation.

"You're gonna run into the wrong person if you don't watch where you're going."

Olivia looked up, an insult on the tip of her tongue when the breath left her lungs.

"Oh, my god! What are you going here?" Olivia exclaimed, excitement taking over her body. She embraced the person in front of her. "I thought you moved for good this time."

"My mom decided to move back. She missed the city too much and so did I."

Christina Alvarez stood before her, a familiar face still after two years apart. Christina had been her best friend until she moved to the suburbs of New York two years ago. They met in middle school and quickly bonded over their similar backgrounds. Her mom had decided she'd had enough of the city two years ago and moved Christina and her sisters just outside the city limits. Both girls had been devastated but managed to keep in touch through few and far between phone calls. Their last phone call had been quite some time ago, though. Christina had no clue about the latest in Olivia's life.

Olivia put a hand over her mouth as she stepped back to take in Christina. Her long dark hair had remained the same. Her brown eyes were still glowing with mischief. Her dark skin still held the color of her Puerto Rican ancestors. Her clothes were still as loud as ever.

It was wonderful to see a familiar face.

"I am so happy you're here," Olivia commented. "You have no idea how badly I need a friend right now."

"What are you talking about? You have tons of friends."

Olivia shook her head. "None of them understand me the way you do, Chris," Olivia confessed, already returning to the use of her friend's nickname. "None of them give it to me straight like you do."

"Girl, I've only been gone for two years," Christina laughed. "What has this school done to you?"

Olivia sighed. "I'll explain later. Right now I have to get to economics."

E

O

**August 18, 1981 3:48PM**

**Camp Lejeune, North Carolina**

"Say goodbye to your mommies, boys. You're playing with the big boys now."

Elliot stood at attention, staring straight ahead with an intent stare. He had been at boot camp for four hours now. Everyone's heads had been shaved and all of their phone calls had been made. His mom had been relieved to know he had arrived safely and he was glad to talk to her, but he wished he could have called Olivia to see how she was doing.

"Later today we'll get into some training but for right now, there's paperwork and vaccines to undergo."

Elliot struggled to focus on the man in front of him. He hoped she was okay. She was still crying by the time he got on the plane. He had seen his uncle Frank put his arms around her as they all waved goodbye to him.

"Private, you listening to me, boy?"

"Sir, yes, sir!" Elliot immediately barked. His drill sergeant stared in his eyes for a few moments before moving away. Elliot mentally breathed a sigh of relief. Surely he could focus long enough to make it through these next thirteen weeks. Olivia was rooting for him.

E

O

Elliot hissed quietly when he took off his boots. His feet had never been in so much pain before. It didn't feel humanly possible. Luckily, he wasn't the only one in that boat. He looked around at his fellow boot camp students and saw that most of them had the exact same look on their faces.

"Oh, man, this hurts like a bitch," someone said from his right. Elliot looked over to see a man about his age sitting down next to him. "I did not think my feet would be the one's suffering from this experience."

Elliot chuckled. "Yeah, tell me about it."

Elliot went back to massaging his feet. He knew he should probably make friends; it would make boot camp go by faster. But he couldn't stop thinking about Olivia.

"I'm John," the other man said, holding his hand out for Elliot to take. Elliot looked at him for a moment before grabbing his hand.

"Elliot."

John nodded. He was a decent looking guy. His brown hair was shaved similar to Elliot's and his clothes matched what he was wearing, too. He had kind of a dopey expression on his face, but he seemed like a decent guy.

"So what brings you to the marines, Elliot?" John tried to make conversation.

"Felt like I had no other options and I wanted to push myself. What about you?"

"All the men in my family have been in some form of military. I'm just completing the cycle."

Elliot chuckled and focused on his feet. "I gotta tell you, man. That would be one reason why I wouldn't go into the military," he spoke honestly.

"Yeah, I thought about not enlisting, but I wanted to see if I could actually do it," John admitted. "So where're you from?"

"New York City, born and raised. How 'bout you?"

"Atlanta, born and raised," he grinned.

Elliot chuckled to himself and muttered, "This should be interesting." He stood and limped over to his cubby. He hadn't a chance to put the rest of his belongings away earlier and his bag was still lying idly on his bed. He didn't have much with him; he was advised to bring mainly toiletries and only a few changes of clothes.

"The marines will supply anything else you need," his recruiter told him.

He took his clothes out of his bag and threw them into the cubby, not noticing when a piece of paper floated gently to the ground. John came around to pick it up, a flash of color on the paper catching his eye.

"Hey, she's hot, man. This your girlfriend?"

Elliot spun around quickly, ready to tackle the man for even looking at the picture. Olivia had given it to him the night before at the beach. She had told him it was so he wouldn't forget what she looked like. He had told her it wasn't possible; he would see her every night in his dreams.

"Yeah, that's my girlfriend," Elliot said, trying to control the tone of his voice. The guy was just making conversation and he wasn't leering at Olivia like so many other guys did. "Her name's Olivia."

"She's pretty," John said again, handing over the small photo. "Better looking than all the girls in Atlanta."

Elliot did smile at that. He looked down at the picture of him and Olivia. Melissa had taken it at one of their group get-togethers at the park. He was giving her a piggyback ride, the one she always demanded of him whenever they were at the park. Their faces were shining bright with smiles and laughter.

"Yeah, she's…she's something special."

'_Es que te has convertido  
En parte de mi alma  
Ya nada me consuela  
Si no estas tu tambien_

_Mas alla de tus labios  
Del sol y las estrellas  
Contigo en la distancia  
Amado mio estoy'_

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Let me know what you guys think! Reviews ease the soul :)


	11. I Really Miss You

A/N: So sorry it's been so long but homework and lack of inspiration struck me. I was thinking about deleting this chapter all together but I decided to post something so those of you still with me wouldn't be left hanging. I promise the next chapter won't be so far off. Most of it's written, but I thought I'd provide this chapter as a little filler for right now.

Disclaimer: The song 'I Really Miss You' is property of S Club 7. Oh, I miss those days.

* * *

'_I called you today just to hear you say  
You were not around  
When the message was through, though I wanted to  
I couldn't make a sound  
I wanna tell you the things I've seen  
I wanna take you to where I've been  
And I wish you were here with me  
Don't you know'_

**October 22, 1981 9:39AM**

**Benson Apartment**

Olivia waited anxiously by the phone, biting her thumb nail with impatience. She hadn't bothered to dress for the day yet; she was on fall break anyway. She was looking forward to her four day weekend but not as much as she was looking forward to the phone ringing. Elliot was supposed to call her. It was his birthday and he promised he'd find a way to call her even if it was only for five minutes. They had only talked on the phone once since he'd been gone and it was really starting to show. Olivia had had a short temper with everyone lately from her mom to Lucy and Christina. She wasn't used to Elliot not being by her side and she was positive now that she didn't like it.

She hadn't realized how much time they had actually spent together, whether it was in person or on the phone. She depended on him to keep her laughing. Keep her happy. Keep her sane. She missed having him there to tell him about her day or her week. She missed their odd conversations that always got off topic.

She missed his arms around her keeping her warm. She missed his soft kiss against her forehead when she was sleepy. Even though they had only slept together a handful of times, she missed being pressed intimately to him afterwards, knowing no harm would come to her as long as she was with him. She missed having that connection with him.

She stood from her bed and started pacing the floor. She kicked aside some of her dirty clothes. She really needed to clean her room. She had let a lot of priorities slip lately. She picked up a note from Christina. They had been passing it back and forth in history class this week. She chuckled when she read some of the Spanish on the page. Christina was helping her brush up on her skills but their conversation on paper had quickly gotten off topic. It was nice to have Christina around again. She was a great friend to talk to and she always helped Olivia keep a clear head. She was also a wonderful friend who was always eager to lend a shoulder whenever Olivia wanted to cry about Elliot.

She jumped when the phone finally rang. She darted to the phone in her room on her bedside table, leaping across her bed and picking it up before it even rang again.

"Hello?" she said somewhat breathlessly.

"Liv?"

Her grin widened until she felt like her face was about to split into two.

"Oh, my god, you have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice!" she squealed into the receiver.

"Probably about as happy as I am to hear yours," Elliot responded, the grin obvious in his voice. She loved the fact that she could picture the exact look on his face.

"Happy birthday, El. How's it feel to be nineteen?"

"About the same as it feels to be eighteen." He chuckled on the other end of the line.

"Do you have a little while to talk?" she asked, holding her breath that he would say yes.

"I have about ten minutes. It's all I managed to get out of my drill sergeant. I'm on his good side so I'm lucky I got time at all," Elliot explained her. He leaned his body against the wall next to the phone. Nobody was around him at the moment and it was nice being able to listen to her breath without twenty people behind him waiting for the phone. "How are you?"

She rolled over onto her back on her bed. "I'm missing you like crazy," she admitted honestly. "But I'm fine other than that. It sucks here without you."

"How is that possible? You're in New York City," he joked.

"It's boring without you," she clarified, laughing. "I need you to get me through every day. I miss talking to you about how my day went."

"I know," he sympathized, his voice growing softer. "So do I. Other than that, how are you? How's everything going?"

"Everything's fine. Lucy's getting on my nerves more and more. School's fine but I'm so ready for it to be over and for Thanksgiving break to be here."

"Don't worry, baby. It'll be here in no time and you'll have me all to yourself," he assured.

"Do you know for how long yet?" she asked.

"Well, I get ten days leave but I don't know if I want to continue with the marines full time yet."

"So, in other words, for at least ten days," she summarized. "I can live with that. I just want you home already."

Elliot closed his eyes as he listened to her soft breathing on the other line. It was nice to hear a feminine voice for a change. He had never been around so much testosterone at once. At times, it was overwhelming. He clashed with many personalities but he was glad for the brotherhood he was a part of. He and his own brother had never really got along when they were growing up; it was only once his brother moved out that they started talking on a regular basis. And he had never really been close to his friends on the football team during high school. Olivia was the only one he felt like he could really talk to about anything and everything. Now he had friends that were going through the same experiences he was. Sometimes, when the lights went out for the night, he and John found themselves talking about random moments from their childhoods. It was nice to have a friend like that.

But he missed talking to his best friend. She was the only one that really understood him and never judged him.

"So do I get my birthday present when I get home?" he wondered, a leer in his voice. She laughed loudly. Leave it to him to return to his normal, goofy self.

"If we get some alone time, you bet," she played along. "I'll even gift wrap it for you."

He paused, looking around to make sure he was still alone. He lowered his voice and asked, "Wait, are we still talking about the same thing?"

"Well, I'm talking about sex and I'm fairly positive you were, too," she confirmed, lowering her voice as well just in case her mom was listening.

"Yeah, I was. Just wanted to make sure we were on the same page."

"Leave it to you, you perv," she laughed. "So are you making friends there?"

"Yes, mom," he answered sarcastically. "I'm making plenty of friends; don't worry about me. I'm more worried about you."

"Why are you worried about me?"

"Your mom," he said simply as if that explained everything. He tapped his fingers against the pay phone and leaned against the wall.

Olivia lay back against her pillows and clutched the phone tighter in her hand. "My mom is fine. She's not drinking as much as she normally does and she hardly ever drinks the hard stuff. You don't have to worry about me, El."

"I'm always gonna worry about you, baby. Always," he reminded her softly. "I just know how your mom can be and I know it isn't easy for you to make friends because of that."

"Hey, I told you Christina moved back. She's all I need. She understands me."

"Still…a few more friends couldn't hurt."

"Don't worry; Christina brings out a side of me I didn't know existed."

"Wait, what's that mean? Am I gonna recognize my girlfriend when I get home?" he chuckled nervously.

"Yes, El, I haven't changed," she assured teasingly. "Although, Christina is taking me to a spa sometime before I come down to pick you up."

"Really? Gonna get all dolled up just for me?"

She grinned against the mouth piece. She was glad to hear the surprise in his voice. She was never one to focus on her looks. When she woke up in the morning, the most she did was brush her hair and put on some lip gloss. She had started making more of an effort when her and Elliot had entered the 'like' stage and started flirting with one another. He had called her on it, though, and told her she didn't need make up to look beautiful. She noticed she still found herself getting dressed up to go out on dates with him, though. She loved the look he would get on his face when he saw her all decked out.

"Yes, I am. I have to look good for my man."

"Baby, you always look good. You know that."

"I know; you tell me that all the time. But I still like to get all dressed up for you." She heard someone in the background telling Elliot his time was almost up. "I guess our time is up for right now, huh?"

Elliot winced as he turned away from his drill sergeant. "Yeah, it is. I don't know when I'll be able to talk to you again. I probably won't before graduation time."

"Do you know when that is yet?"

"Sometime right before Thanksgiving," he recited. "That's all I can remember right now."

He sounded distracted now. "I'll let you go then. I love you, El."

"I love you, Liv."

"I can't wait to see you again."

"Won't be long now. Just a few more weeks and we'll be together again."

They hung up after a few last words to one another. Olivia let her hand linger on the receiver, wishing she could have more time to talk to him. She had written a few letters but she always forgot to ask him if he'd gotten them. She wrote in a diary every day, writing down her day's events so she could tell him about it when he got home if it seemed relevant enough to her. It was more for herself, however; a therapeutic chore that tricked her mind into thinking she was actually telling Elliot everything that went on in her life in the thirteen weeks he was away.

She was excited to go pick him up. It was going to be a long drive with his mom and uncle, though. She knew Frank well enough to know they had numerous topics they could talk about so she wasn't nervous about him. His mother on the other hand… She didn't know his mother at all. She was nervous about anything Bernie might ask her. She didn't know what all Elliot had told his mom about her but she wished he had told her what he told his mom!

"Olivia?" came a knock at her door.

"Yeah?"

Serena opened the door and poked her head inside. "I take it that was Elliot on the phone?"

Olivia nodded, laying her head back against her pillows. "He only had a few minutes to talk before he had to get back to his duties."

"It must have been nice to talk to him again. How much longer until he comes home?"

"About two and half weeks."

"That's not that long. It'll be here before you know it."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah," she agreed, "but I still miss him like crazy."

Serena pressed her lips together and tentatively sat on her daughter's bed. She rested her arm on Olivia's blanket covered leg and gently leaned into her. "Well, I can't do anything about that but I can try to help you take your mind off of it," Serena offered.

Olivia perked up. "What?"

"You could come into work with me for a few hours. I need to get some grading done and I could use some company."

Well, that sure beat the hours Olivia had planned to spend doing nothing around the apartment.

"Okay, let me get dressed."

'_I'm writing to say I had a wonderful day  
Hangin' with my friends.  
But the memory dies as the sun reach the skies  
I'm alone again.  
I wanna tell you the weather is fine  
When the night comes around you were on my mind  
And I wish you were here with me  
Don't you know'_

_

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Let me know what you guys think. I promise the next chapter will be along shortly. Spring break is a lovely incentive to sit back and write. So are reviews :P


	12. Home Sweet Home

Disclaimer: The song is 'Home Sweet Home' by Carrie Underwood.

* * *

'_You know I'm a dreamer_

_But my heart's of gold_

_I had to run away high_

_So I wouldn't come home low_

_Just when things went right_

_Doesn't mean they were always wrong_

_Just take this song_

_And you'll never feel left all alone'_

**November 19, 1981 11:12AM**

**On the road**

"Are you warm enough back there, dear?" Bernie called back to their passenger. "I can turn the heat up if you'd like?"

Olivia smirked to herself. "No, I'm all right, but thank you." She could see Frank's head shaking in the rearview mirror and smirked at that, too.

They had been on the road for six hours already. They had left at the bright and early hour of five thirty in the morning. Since they were going to spend the rest of the day driving to South Carolina, they would arrive around eleven that night. Frank was going to do most of the driving and Olivia would take over when he got too tired to drive any further. It was an unspoken rule among the two that Bernie simply wasn't allowed to drive. They were driving Frank's station wagon, which would be a big contrast for Olivia. She was used to driving Elliot's car; she still did occasionally even with Elliot gone. Even though she had his car keys, it felt weird driving without him.

"Are you hungry, dear?" Bernie questioned her again.

"Leave the girl alone, Bernie," Frank interfered before Olivia could say anything. "We'll stop for something to eat soon enough."

"Well, I just want to make sure she's well taken care of," Bernie defended, throwing her hands up and looking towards the front window. "God forbid she tell people we didn't take care of her on this trip."

"She's not going to say that. I've known Olivia for a long time now and she's nothing if not grateful," Frank defended his nephew's girlfriend. He caught her gaze in the rearview mirror and winked at her. She chuckled at her hosts.

She was glad Frank was going on this trip, too. She knew him the best out of Elliot's family. She had met Elliot's dad briefly that morning but he hadn't said much and Olivia didn't really have much of an opinion of him yet. Elliot was always very reserved about him and never really spoke of him so Olivia couldn't help but feel a little resentment toward the man.

"How long have you been seeing my Elliot?"

"Um, just over a year last week," she recalled fondly.

Bernie turned to look at her. "Aw, and the two of you couldn't even be together on your anniversary," she said in a sad voice, a frown on her face.

"It's all right," Olivia assured with a smile. "We'll see each other tomorrow, though, and we can celebrate sometime when we get home."

Bernie clasped her hands together and smiled wildly. "Oh, how sweet! I think I might just have to get the two of you a reservation at someplace nice."

"No, you don't have to do that," Olivia insisted. "Besides, Elliot and I aren't exactly the most conventional couple."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, our usual idea of a date is a picnic in the park or a trip to the bowling alley or just driving around looking for things to do. Plus, we're both saving the majority of our money for the future. We probably couldn't afford a dinner at a fancy restaurant."

Bernie waved her off. "Nonsense. I'll take care of everything."

"No, really…"

"Her mind's set, Olivia," Frank stepped in. "Just smile and nod."

E

O

Olivia turned the light off on her way out of the bathroom, her toothbrush in hand. She made her way over to her bed where her bag was lying open.

"I hope you don't mind sharing a room with me," Bernie said from her place next to her own bed.

Olivia smiled over at her and slipped her toiletries back in her bag. "Not at all. I kind of thought this would give us a chance to talk more and get to know one another."

"Oh, that would be lovely. I was hoping you'd say that."

Olivia couldn't help but smile at Bernie's giddiness. She was excited to have a chance to talk to Bernie without having Elliot freak out or try to run interference. She wanted to get to know the woman and she wanted to be liked by her. She planned on being in Elliot's life for a long time and it would help if she had the woman's approval.

Olivia put her bag on the floor out of the way and slid into bed. She was paranoid about sleeping in a tank top and shorts in front of her boyfriend's mom. She didn't want to be thought of as a floozy, but there wasn't much she could do about it now.

"So what is your life story, dear? Elliot hasn't told me a great deal about you even though once I found out about you, I hounded him nonstop."

Olivia chuckled. "We're, uh, both kind of similar in that respect. I don't really tell my own mom a lot about him either. But I think my reasons are a little different than his."

Bernie slid into her bed as well and turned on her side to look at her roommate. "Well, why don't you talk to your mom?"

Olivia chuckled uncomfortably. "Well, um, we've had issues with each other for many, many years. Or, I've had issues with her for many, many years. She, uh, she likes alcohol. A lot. Sometimes I think she likes alcohol more than she likes me."

Bernie's face fell with sympathy for the girl. "Oh, now that can't be true."

Olivia nodded and continued to pluck at the fabric of her blanket to avoid looking at Bernie. "Yeah, it is. While I was growing up, she would rather drink than pay attention to me. I took care of her more than she took care of me."

"Have you tried talking to her about it?"

"She won't exactly listen," Olivia chuckled. "I've tried asking her to quit drinking but she always lets me down. She's actually better now than she was and I'm thankful for that."

"Well, now, that's good at least. You know, when I was growing up, no one had the guts to say anything to someone who enjoyed the sauce a little too much. They just let them be and never said anything when they got a little too rough or violent or mouthy. You seem like the kind of girl that wouldn't be able to just keep her mouth shut, though."

"No, I'm definitely not," Olivia laughed. "Once I was old enough to speak my mind…"

Bernie pointed a finger at Olivia. "You know, you remind me of myself when I was younger. Oh, I was a spitfire. I couldn't hold my tongue no matter what. I was a wild thing, always running off to be spontaneous and adventurous. Elliot used to be like me."

"What happened?"

"He grew up, had to take on some responsibilities, his father got to him. I miss the old Elliot, the Elliot that wasn't afraid to go on crazy adventures with me or build amazing sandcastles."

Olivia smiled wistfully at the look on Bernie's face. "He still goes on crazy adventures, but we haven't built a sandcastle with me yet. He's a different person when he's with me, a better person. When he's around his guy friends, he always tries to impress them and be tougher than them, but when he's with me that all disappears. I can tell you taught him well."

"I tried," Bernie said modestly. She grew quiet and smoothed a finger across the smooth surface of the sheet. "They always said I was different when I was raising him and his brother. I was too ambiguous and adventurous to stay in one place long enough to give those boys a solid upbringing. My mother stepped in often to try to raise them for me but I always yelled and screamed at her to leave. Joe, their father, was always yelling at me to be a better mother. He always got me so flustered I couldn't think straight. I tried to be a good mother."

"From what I've seen so far, you have been," Olivia assured the doubting woman. "I know we haven't known each other long, but I can tell how much you love your sons. I know you were always there for Elliot and John. All my life, I wanted a mother to be there and support me the way you do for your children."

"Thank you," Bernie mouthed, her eyes red and stinging with tears. She sighed shakily. "I think it's about time for bed now, don't you think?"

Olivia nodded and reached over to turn the light off. The room was cast in darkness except for the faint light shining in through the top of the window. The sound of shifting could be heard from both women, both trying to find a comfortable position to sleep.

"Thank you for letting me come on this trip, Bernie," Olivia's voice floated through the darkness. "It means a lot to me."

Bernie smirked in the dark room. "I wouldn't want to be responsible for keeping two lovebirds apart from one another any longer than necessary."

"I always wanted a daughter," Bernie commented out of the blue a few minutes later. "A daughter-in-law would be just as nice, though."

"Is that a hint?" Olivia smirked to herself.

Bernie grinned. "Maybe just a small one."

E

O

**November 20, 1981 7:30AM**

**Parris Island, SC**

It was bright and early in the morning, hours before Olivia would've normally woken up to start her day. It was the perfect sunny day for family day at the base. The weather was much warmer here than it was back home being it was November. It was the marine's last day before graduation. After tomorrow, they were released into their family's care for ten days before returning for Marine Combat Training.

Olivia's heart started to race when she saw Elliot in the group that was running past them. They were yelling their cadences as they circled the base that morning. Frank had told her it was their way of showing off to their families. Someone at the base had told her it was simply a motivational run to inspire the almost-Marines.

She watched alongside Bernie and Frank as the Marines stopped their run at the parade deck in front of them. They hadn't gotten there as early as other families so their place was further away from the deck than she would've liked. But as long as she got to hold Elliot in her arms soon, it really didn't matter to her.

"He looks so handsome," Bernie commented from her left.

She nodded in agreement. "Looks like all of his preparing paid off. He conditioned himself for months."

"Is that what he was doing?"Bernie seemed surprised. "I thought he was just starving himself. The boy hardly ate anything when he was home."

"He ate all the time. What are you talking about?" Frank butted in.

"We ate out with friends a lot and he ate over at my apartment a lot, too," Olivia assured Bernie. She added with a chuckle, thinking of Elliot's voracious appetite, "Trust me, he was never starving himself."

"Atten-hut!"

Everyone's eyes snapped to the front as the leading drill sergeant made his presence known. The crowd listened as the drill sergeant spoke to his charges in a loud, commanding voice. He was a tall man, his tan skin shining in the morning's sun. His hat was kind of funny so Olivia couldn't help but let a snicker through her closed lips.

"Hoo-rah!"

The noise startled Olivia as she looked up to see the Marines no longer standing tall and in a straight line. They had obviously been dismissed to their families for the day.

"Do you see him?" Bernie asked Frank who had only a slight height advantage on the women.

"Uh, not yet," he reported. "Don't worry, Bern, he'll find us."

Olivia spun around a few different ways to try and spot Elliot faster. All of the recruits were wearing the same thing—hairstyle, clothes, and all! Most of them had short brown hair just like Elliot. There was roughly an equal mix of races so she quickly scanned past those that weren't Caucasian. She could see many families had already found their sons. Mothers all over the small field were hugging their sons after a long thirteen weeks apart. Olivia grew anxious to find Elliot so she could follow in the mother's examples.

She spun around to her left. There! She knew that smile anywhere. Her own smile blossomed on her face in a nanosecond as her feet took off running. Elliot's strong arms caught her with ease as she flung herself at him. He spun them around in a circle, his arms squeezing her tight to him.

"Oh, my god, I missed you so much, baby," he whispered in her ear. She pressed her face close to his and closed her eyes. She wrapped her arms tight around his neck. She inhaled his scent. His clean, manly scent that she had missed for the last thirteen weeks. It had almost worn off from the sweatshirt she had stolen from him before he left.

"You have no idea," she told him. She pressed a kiss to his ear lobe. "Never leave me again for so long."

"You know I have to," he reminded her.

"I know, but let's pretend for a little while that you're not going anywhere ever again," she wished. She pulled her face back so she could look in his eyes. "Okay?"

He nodded and closed his lips over hers. "Okay," he murmured against her lips. She met his kiss with equal fervor. Her lips glided over his with ease despite their absence. His body felt strong and muscular against hers. It was familiar and yet new.

And Elliot… Oh, how he had missed the feel of her against him. Too long he had been surrounded by men. Sure there were female recruits to look at but not that many. And besides, he wasn't that type of guy. He knew what he had waiting for him at home and he wasn't about to jeopardize that for anything.

The fact that he could also get thrown out of the Marines for fraternizing with a female recruit was also an incentive to mind his own business.

He debated between deepening the kiss and letting her go when he heard a throat clear from beside him. They pulled apart slowly and looked over to see his mom and uncle standing there with smiles on their faces.

"Mom, Frank," he greeted in a way he hoped sounded enthusiastic. Olivia slowly slid down his body until her feet touched the ground. She let go of him long enough for him to hug his mother and uncle. Bernie took a long hug from her son, swaying him back and forth for what seemed like hours instead of less than a minute. Frank got a brief hug from his nephew. Being they were both men, they kept the hug brief. As soon as he parted from Frank, Elliot's hand sought Olivia's and clasped it tightly after interlacing their fingers. His eyes met hers and they smiled at one another.

"I can't believe you graduate tomorrow," Bernie was saying. She laughed. "Seems like just yesterday, you left for boot camp."

"I'm ready to graduate tomorrow. It feels like it's been longer than three months," Elliot said matter of factly. He looked over at Olivia again and pulled her body closer to his. She wrapped her arm around his waist and cuddled into his side. "Come on. I'll show you around the base."

E

O

**November 26, 1981 12:12PM**

**Stabler Residence**

"Are you sure they don't have a problem with me being in here?" Olivia asked Elliot, walking around his room looking at his things. They always spent time at her apartment. She'd only been to his house a handful of times in the year they'd been dating. He always said it wasn't as homey as her apartment. She knew he was just making excuses. Not that she minded, though. Her mom was gone a lot with work so that gave them plenty of time to spend alone together.

"Well, Uncle Frank kinda distracted mom so she doesn't actually know we're up here together," Elliot informed her, lying back on his bed. "And my dad is waiting for football to start so he could care less about everything."

She looked over at him. She didn't know why he had such a rough time with his father. He never really spoke of him. The impression Olivia always got was that the guy was a complete asshole who was never there. At least he had a dad, though. At least he had someone to lay blame on.

She walked over and lay next to him. She rested her arm on his chest and looked up at his face. He kept his eyes turned upward; his hands remained clasped behind his head.

"Why don't you watch football with him?" she suggested, her fingers running across the buttons of his shirt. His mom had insisted he look presentable today. He had appeased her by wearing a dark blue button down shirt with some khaki pants. Olivia had wanted to look nice for his family on Thanksgiving so she'd worn her favorite red sweater with black slacks.

"Because he would ignore me the whole time, just like he does every other day," Elliot told her somewhat bitterly.

"Why don't you ever talk to him about that?"

Elliot scoffed. "We're guys, Liv. We don't talk about our feelings."

"You do with me," she pointed out.

He glanced over at her. "You're my girlfriend. That's different."

She rose up on her elbow. "It's not different. Just because I don't have a penis doesn't mean it's easier to talk to me."

He just sighed heavily. Why did she always have to be so difficult? "It's not that simple, baby."

His hand reached up to touch her dangling necklace. He grinned at the sight of it. He wanted to do more spontaneous things for her but she hated when he spent money on her. Sure, in her eyes it was fine for her to splurge on something for him but she's practically yell at him if he did it for her. Obviously, he did it anyway and the yelling was always worth it as soon as she saw whatever it was he bought her. Like the necklace he had brought her from South Carolina. She hadn't yelled at him for buying it; hell, she'd told him to get her something. No, when he'd whipped out the gold necklace that said 'Abhaya' in Sanskrit, he would have sworn on her grave that she was going to cry her eyes out right then and there. That was last week. Today, she was still wearing the necklace and she had vowed to never take it off for the rest of her life.

"It should be that simple," she told him. Her hand found his and tangled their fingers together.

"Did you talk to your mom about changing her attitude?" he countered.

"Yeah, I did," she answered matter-of-factly. "And our relationship is a lot better because of it. So if you'd just talk to your dad like I talked to my mom, maybe you would have the same results."

"Baby…"

"I know, I know," she interrupted, laying her head down on his chest. "You don't want to hear it right now. But you need to do something about it. Do you realize I've never even said more than five words to the man?"

He moved to get up, clearly annoyed with the topic of conversation. "I get it, Liv."

She heard the anger in his voice and she didn't like it.

"Okay, I get it. I'll drop it," she promised. She patted the spot next to her where he was just lying. "Come back and keep me company."

He paced for a few steps before looking back at her. He never could refuse her for long. Or stay mad at her.

He understood what she was getting at but he was sick and tired of the subject. He didn't want to be best friends with his father. The man wasn't worthy enough. Plus, he didn't want Olivia to meet his dad. He didn't want her opinion of his family, and of him, to be tainted.

Slowly, he lay on the bed next to her. "I know you have a point, but I really don't want to talk about this ever again."

"You can't never talk about it again. What if we have kids one day? They should know their grandparents."

He raised a brow at her. "So now we're having kids?"

She laughed at the surprised tone of his voice. "Don't change the subject."

She curled up in his strong arms. Boot camp had changed his physique, but for the good in her opinion. His arms felt stronger, more muscular. His chest was bigger; his shoulders broader. He was fit before boot camp but now…Now he was all man.

"I'm not changing the subject. You changed the subject. When did you decide you want kids?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know that I do, but I know I like kids."

His eyes grew soft as he looked at her. He chuckled to himself when he felt her legs tangle with his. He could feel her sock clad feet on his calves, her toes moving about like they always did. He pulled his pillow closer and rested his head on it.

"You'd be a great mom, Liv. I know it."

"But how do you know it?"

"I don't know, I just do," he shrugged. "I've seen you with kids and I just know you're gonna be great at it yourself."

She snuggled her head into his chest. "You say that now, but you don't know it for sure. Besides, I'm young and I'd like to enjoy that before I even start thinking about becoming a mom."

He rested his head on top of hers. He inhaled deeply through his nose, the scent of her shampoo swirling through his nostrils. "So what do you want to talk about instead?"

"Well, we could get back to the subject you avoided earlier."She felt him shake his head rapidly and laughed. "Then you should tell me what to expect from today. From my readings of books and watching television shows, I know something is bound to go wrong today."

He rolled over onto his back, bringing her with him. "Hoooh, what won't go wrong today? Let's see, last year mom managed to burn the turkey, she didn't bake the rolls, somehow the green beans got thrown outside. Don't ask me how that happened. Dad got into a yelling match with me and my brother, Uncle Frank almost got slapped by my mom, and the night ended with my mom running upstairs crying. So to sum it up, everything is bound to go wrong today."

"Oh joy," she said sarcastically. While that sounded like a lot of drama to her, it still sounded like a better Thanksgiving than she experienced every year. It was certainly better than sitting in a silent apartment with her mom, neither ever saying more than two words to the other. She tilted her head back to look at him. "Will your brother be here today?"

"He should be but I don't think he's bringing his girlfriend. He's too afraid for her to see the family already."

She chuckled. "I don't think I've met her yet. We should go out to dinner with them sometime," she suggested. She clamored on top of him, pressing alight kiss to his lips. "How's that sound?"

He brushed a kiss of his own across her lips. "Good but you gotta remember that I don't know when I'll be back from MOS."

She dropped her forehead down to his shoulder. "Ugh, do we have to talk about that right now?"

He rubbed his hands up and down her back. "I just need to make sure you remember it, Liv. I could be gone for a really long time or I could be gone for a short amount of time. It all depends on what program I decide to do."

She picked her head up and found his blue eyes with her brown ones. "Have you decided what you want to do yet?"

"No, not yet. You should see the list, Liv. I can be anything I want. There are so many choices. I don't know how I'll be able to pick."

"How long is MOS?"

"Twenty-nine days; I'll decide when I'm there."

She nodded and dropped her lips to his. "Can we not talk about it anymore now?" she wondered. She continued to pepper kisses against his lips, trying to get him focused on something other than conversation. He caught on fast. While she wasn't looking to have sex while his parents were in the house, she wasn't against a little fooling around. And she knew Elliot would never turn that down.

He flipped them over so he was on top. He contemplated shutting the door but decided it would take too much time and then it would make it really obvious that the two of them were up there alone. He wanted to be able to hear incoming noise so they could play the innocent act when they were busted. And with Uncle Frank in the house, he was positive they were going to be busted.

He trailed kisses down his neck, his lips coming into contact with the cold metal of her necklace. It sent a little thrill through him knowing she never wanted to take off the necklace he got her. He could feel her arms curling around him, holding his body close and keeping him nice and warm. Her hips ground into his, soliciting a moan from him. He returned the motion, bringing about a moan from her.

"You know we can't have sex right now, don't you?" she murmured in his ear, a smile evident in her voice. He felt her teeth nip at his lobe, an act he loved.

"I don't know, it might be a while until dinner's ready," he reminded. He pulled back to look at her. "We might have plenty of time."

"Elliot, I am not having sex with your parents in the house," she laughed. He smiled at the sight. He loved it when she laughed full on like that. No one had a sweeter laugh than her.

He grinned. "Why not?" he teased. "It could be really fun."

She pressed her forehead to his. "Because it's wrong on so many levels," she smirked. Despite her words, she pressed her lips to his again. She took her time. There was no need to hurry. She slipped her tongue past his lips, meeting his before retreating. She caught his bottom lip between her teeth and gained another deep moan from him.

"Elliot, I really don't want to move my hand from eyes, but your mother is looking for you," came Frank's voice from the doorway. Elliot and Olivia looked up to see Frank with a hand covering his eyes. They both chuckled at the sight. Just when Frank started to move away, he stopped and faced them again. "Oh, and dinner's almost ready."

His retreating footsteps were heard as he moved away and down the stairs. Elliot and Olivia looked at one another only to promptly burst out into laughter.

E

O

Olivia clung to Elliot while they were downstairs waiting for everyone to get together around the long table. She kept her hand in his and her arm touching his. His mom had insisted there was nothing she could help with, saying that she had everything under control. One look at Frank had told her to pick her battles and she'd chosen to return to Elliot's side.

"Is this where stuff starts getting messed up?" she whispered to him.

He nodded. "Just smile and answer their questions," he suggested. "Maybe everything will go smoothly this year."

"All right, everyone! Take a seat!" Bernie exclaimed coming out of the kitchen. She carried a bowl in each hand but the contents were unknown from Elliot and Olivia's point of view. "John, get your father from the den."

Elliot looked over as his brother left to fetch his father. He couldn't blame John for not wanting to bring Rachel. He wouldn't have brought Olivia if she hadn't of practically begged to come. Okay, so she didn't really beg. He remembered her once saying that she'd never experienced holidays like normal families. As soon as he'd mentioned who was coming over for Thanksgiving, she'd got this look on her face. Next thing he knew, he was asking her if she wanted to come over for dinner.

He didn't want to expose her to his family, though. His mom was harmless enough in the long run. Olivia had made him see that. His father was moody, violent, absent nine times out of ten. John and Uncle Frank were the best family representatives, though.

Sometimes, he got to thinking that he was no good for Olivia. She was the perfect woman. He could never find any faults with her, except for maybe some self doubt every now and then. He saw all the faults in himself. He was terrified he was going to end up like his father. He didn't want to become so obsessed in his work that he never came home. Or so depressed with his work that he turned to booze and slept with dozens of random faceless women. He didn't want to abuse his wife and children. He didn't want to be his father.

"El?" he heard from his left. He turned to see Olivia smiling at him. "Where'd you disappear to?"

"Just thinking," he said, shaking his head. He led her over to the table, pulling out a chair for her before seating himself next to her. He reached over to clasp their hands under the table, feeling the need for her level headed strength during their dinner.

"What's everybody still standing up for?" Joe Stabler wondered while walking into the room. "Sit down and let's get this dinner on the road."

"How's your team doing?" Olivia wondered, trying to start a rapport with the eldest Stabler. She felt Elliot squeeze her hand but she ignored the warning.

Joe looked over at her, a slight scowl on his face. Elliot prayed he wouldn't say anything horrible to her. She didn't deserve that.

To his amazement, the look on his father's face disappeared. "They're losing but there's still the second half," Joe answered politely.

John and Elliot looked at one another, surprised at their father. He hardly ever said anything decent or nice to anyone. His answers were always gruff and left the recipient regretting ever speaking to him.

Then again, Elliot wasn't surprised Olivia had gotten that kind of response from him. No one could ignore her.

'_Take me to your heart_

_Feel me in your bones_

_Just one more night_

_And I'm comin' off this long and winding road'_

_

* * *

_

A/N: The next chapter is underway but I'm not sure exactly when I'll get it posted. Make sure to review though! :)


	13. Syrup and Honey

A/N: So finals are upon me but all of my homework is done. In other words, I finally have time to write again! And it was a review from Anna Maria that inspired me to finish this chapter.

Disclaimer: The song is 'Syrup and Honey' written and owned by Duffy.

* * *

'_Don't you be wasting all your money  
On syrup and honey  
Because I'm sweet enough  
Don't you be using every minute  
On making a living  
Because we've got our love  
Listen to me_

_1,2,3  
Baby, baby, baby  
Spend your time on me'_

**December 21, 1981 10:56AM**

**Streets of New York City**

"So what's your family doing for Christmas?" Olivia asked her friend sitting across from her.

"Oh girl, we're having a whole get together at my house. It's nice for about the first hour. Then I just wanna kill myself," Christina chuckled. She sipped at her coffee, her eyes taking in all those around her.

Olivia chuckled with her. "I would say you can join me but you'll still want to kill yourself with all the silence."

"You know, I bitch about my family but they're good people," Christina mused. She looked over to her friend. "I wish you could have the same thing."

"You and me both," Olivia agreed. She sipped at her own coffee. "But I've come to terms with my life and it's made me who I am."

Christina just stared at her friend. She had grown so much since the last time she'd seen her so many years ago. She used to be the shy kid who never spoke to anyone unless they spoke to her first. She used to hate herself because of her mother. She was never particularly outgoing but she played sports to keep herself out of the apartment. She would wear baggy clothing so people wouldn't notice her athletic, blossoming figure.

Now she was a whole new Olivia. She wore more fashionable, form-fitting clothing; paid for with the money she earned doing her various part time jobs. She talked to everyone now, just random little quick conversations with random New Yorkers. She didn't hate herself anymore. At least, Christina was pretty sure she didn't. She smiled more than she used to and her eyes had a sparkle to them. She was pretty sure she had Elliot to thank for her friend's transformation. Underneath it all, though, she was still the same Olivia. She was still the same kind, caring, loving Olivia Benson that Christina had grown up with.

Christina had been beyond ecstatic when her mom told her they were moving back to the city. She'd hated it when they moved; the suburbs had sucked immensely. She'd missed the constant action of the city. She even missed the sounds of the police sirens and fire truck horns. But she hadn't been ready for how much she missed her best friend. She would have called numerous times every day to talk to Olivia if her mom hadn't started bitching about the phone bill. So she and Olivia had cut back their phone calls to once or twice a week. Eventually they both got busy with their own after school activities and their own lives that the phone calls got pushed back to once every month. If they were lucky.

She never thought she'd be friends with someone who wasn't Puerto Rican. Her mom only hung out with other Puerto Ricans and she wanted her daughters to do the same. It wasn't that they didn't like other races. It was just that Puerto Rican personalities clashed with others so much that it was just easier sticking to what they knew. But Christina could just tell from looking at Olivia in gym class in the sixth grade that the girl had needed someone tough to stick by her side. A Puerto Rican was the best defense a girl could have. That was when she'd discovered that Olivia would never have trouble getting along with anyone, no matter their color, religion, ethnicity, or sports team. And New Yorkers were passionate about their sports teams.

"I can't believe this is the first time I'm meeting your boyfriend," Christina commented. She let her eyes wander to the glass windows of the coffee shop. She had seen pictures of Elliot so she was fairly positive she could identify him.

"I know. I was hoping you'd be able to meet him when he was home last month, but now he's home for good and I can finally relax."

"Explain that to me again."

"He went to MOS in November after his leave. MOS is where he decides what he wants to do in the Marines. He told me they had a ton of choices but he kept coming back to the one that would let him get his college degree first and then go back in the service. He said he didn't want to regret not having a college experience and if the Marines wanted to pay for it, that was fine by him," Olivia laughed.

"That's how I'd do it. Shoot, they can pay me. I'm the one risking my life, the least they can do is pick up the bill for school," Christina informed, her Puerto Rican accent flaring up. Olivia couldn't help but laugh harder when she even got a finger wag in there, too. "Does he know what school yet? Is he gonna try for Siena with you?"

"He'll probably apply because in his mind it's what I want him to do but Siena doesn't have a football team," Olivia thought through.

"And what do you want him to do?"

"I want him to go to a school where he's going to be happy, and that will most definitely involve football."

"You don't want him with you?" Christina sounded surprised.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "I do but at the same time, I think we'll continue to have a strong relationship if we try new things separately and then spend twelve hours on the phone filling each other in," she said with a light laugh. "I don't know. I feel like we'll only be stronger and we'll realize how strong we are as a couple if we try living separately for long periods of time. For the next few years at least, not our entire lives. I definitely want to live with him as soon as possible."

Christina squealed. "Look at you, talkin' 'bout spendin' the rest of your life with this guy," she cheered, slapping her friend on the hand lightly. "You better hope I approve of him or I'm gonna shoot your plans to hell."

"If you don't, I guess I'll just have to get a new friend then," Olivia back talked with a grin.

"Don't toy with me, girl," Christina warned with a smile of her own and a finger pointed at the brunette. "You know you're already on thin ice 'cause you're not Boricua."

"You know you love me," Olivia reminded with a grin. She nudged her arm. "I'm the best friend you have."

Christina wouldn't outright admit it now but Olivia was right. She knew Olivia would have her back no matter what, more so than some of the people that she called friend.

So rather than admit it, she stood up and tried to stall. "Yeah, whatever. I gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute."

Olivia nodded and continued to sip at her coffee. She knew what Christina was unable to say; she felt the same way. Christina would come to rescue any time. With her fiery Puerto Rican attitude, Christina was sure to win any fight.

She turned her eyes back to the large glass windows of the coffee shop. It wasn't too far from her apartment, just a couple blocks away. Once she turned seventeen, she started drinking coffee occasionally after Melissa introduced her to it. With all of the part time jobs she held and an increase of homework during her senior year, now she drank coffee regularly. Her mom still looked at her like she was crazy in the morning when they were both drinking coffee at the table. Her baby girl was showing signs she was grown up and Olivia didn't know if Serena would be able to handle it much more.

She watched people walk by outside. Everyone was bundled up against the cold. It had hardly snowed so far but winter had just barely started. As long as it snowed a little by Christmas day, Olivia would be happy. While she generally hated the cold, she loved seeing the snow fall around Christmas time. Serena had never really drank much during the holidays, especially Christmas, and that was the one time of year Olivia could consistently remember being happy. Even though she didn't have the type of family like other people had, somehow seeing the snow transported her into a make believe world where all was always right.

She didn't see any familiar faces walk by the window. Sometimes she saw people she knew from her building stop by for a quick cup of coffee. But she didn't see Elliot either. She glanced down at her watch, checking the time. He had said he was going to meet her after his interview but she thought he would've been done with that by now. It was going on fifteen after eleven. His interview had been at ten fifteen. He had said he needed another job for the next eight months so he could save up enough money before the start of college. He hadn't applied anywhere yet but he had applications for a few of the schools closest to home. He also had one for Siena but she knew he wouldn't find anything there that interested him. It was more a formality to her, at least in her opinion it was.

The room got dark around her as someone put their hands in front of her eyes. Thinking it was Christina, she sighed loudly. "Is this your idea of scaring me?"

"No, it's my idea of surprising you," said the deeper, baritone voice of someone who was not Christina. She started for a minute at the sound of a man's voice but relaxed when she recognized the familiar tone of Elliot's voice. The hands removed themselves and she spun around to look at him. He didn't look upset but most of the time he was really good at keeping his moods close to the vest.

"So how'd it go?" she wondered, referring to the interview. She pulled him down into the chair next to her. He scooted it closer to hers, planting a kiss on her before answering.

"I got the job!" He didn't bother making her wait it out like he normally would. He didn't have the patience today. He was too excited.

"That's great!" She threw her arms around him. "When do you start?"

"Well, that's the bad news." He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at her sheepishly. He even winced as he spoke, "I start tonight."

Olivia's face fell. They had plans for a movie night at her apartment tonight. She reminded him of such.

"But El, we have plans," she whined. Wait. She whined? She didn't like the sound of that in her voice.

He held up a hand to stop her. "Baby, I know, but it's money and I need to save it up. I have to make money, Olivia. I have to support myself because no one else is gonna do it."

He felt himself growing a little testy, his anger trying to get the best of him. He wasn't going to get that big of a paycheck from the Marines right now, not until he was on active duty. He was lucky they would pay for his schooling but he wasn't going to go in without having some more money saved up first. He didn't want to ask his uncle for a larger paycheck when he only worked there a few days a week, but he also didn't want to work there full time. He wanted to explore his options. Sometimes he was jealous of Olivia. She had so many different types of jobs she held down at various time s of the year. She had so many unique stories. All he had were stories of drunken men and poker games gone wrong.

"El, I know, but it's just really short notice," she reminded. "You couldn't have started tomorrow?"

He gave her an exasperated look that told her it was time to drop the conversation. Listening to the echo in her head, she didn't like the words that had come out of her mouth but it was too late to take them back now.

"El, I'm sorry," she apologized before he could even say anything. She waved her hand back and forth. "Just forget I said that."

A brief awkward silence fell over them. Elliot tried to understand where she was coming from. He'd probably be upset too if she'd just announced that her new job started in nine hours even though they'd had plans made. No, he wouldn't be upset. He'd be pissed.

"It is really short notice but it makes me look better if I start today," he tried to reason and understand. "We can reschedule, though. The club is closed during Christmas time. We can have a nonstop movie marathon then."

She smiled. "You want to have a movie marathon with my mom in the same apartment as us?"

"Well, it's not ideal," he realized, grinning sheepishly, "but I'm still working on her realizing I'm the only one for her daughter."

"Oh, and look at that. You just talked your way out of a fight."

She tapped him lightly on the cheek a few times. He couldn't help but grin and lean closer to her.

"I'm getting better at this smooth talkin' stuff," he mumbled before his lips connected with hers. Her hands wrapped around the back of his head, keeping his lips on hers until someone interrupted them or they turned blue in the face.

"Don't you guys have a room somewhere you can do that?"

Christina always had such terrible timing.

"Hey, why don't you jus…"

"Lovely timing, Chris," Olivia interrupted Elliot before he continued to yell at her friend for interrupting them. The two had never met before and Elliot was always more of an act first- think later kind of guy.

"I try." Christina returned to her seat, eyeing Elliot across from her. "This must be the boyfriend. The one that was about to cuss me out."

Elliot didn't bother to look sorry about his actions. "Sorry about that. You must be Christina."

Christina took in the man in front of her. Like the rest of them, he was bundled up in winter clothes so she wasn't able to take in much except for his face. He wasn't exactly the type of guy she had pictured Olivia falling for but she could definitely see why she was interested in him. She was sure Olivia wasn't with him solely for his looks, but since Christina had only known the man for a minute, it was really all she had to base him on.

Just by looking at them both sitting next to each other, she knew right away that any kids they had would be gorgeous. They both had the dark brown hair, but Elliot's bright blue eyes would trump Olivia's dark brown eyes.

They looked adorable together, though. She guessed they were almost equal height but she couldn't really tell. Elliot's arm was tossed across the back of Olivia's chair but his posture wasn't entirely possessive. Although, Christina was positive he could be very possessive at times.

"And you must be Elliot." She tried to make her look firm and mean. She wanted Elliot to know she meant business. If he hurt Olivia, he would have to deal with her. And she had cousins that could take care of him. She turned to Olivia. "Girl, he does not look at all like I thought he would."

Elliot looked puzzled while Olivia busted out laughing.

E

O

"Why's it so cold?" Olivia complained.

Elliot chuckled. "Because it's winter."

"Well, winter should stop." She stuffed her face further into the collar of her coat and shoved her hands further into her pockets.

"I'll tell it that but I can't make any promises."

She tried to kick him with her foot but she missed him by a mile. "Smartass."

He hooked his arm though hers to pull her closer to him. If there was something he would always get a kick out of, it was her distaste for cold weather. He did his best to warm her up but Olivia wouldn't be happy until she was inside and warm under piles of blankets.

"What time do you start work tonight?"

"I have to be there by six so they can go over the basics with me."

"So then we have…about five hours together until you have to leave," she mused. "This is not how I saw the day going. I mean, I figured you'd get the job but I thought you wouldn't start until after the holiday."

Elliot only shrugged; there was nothing he could really say. With his modest paycheck from the Marines, he planned on saving it up until he had enough to buy a place for himself one day. With the rest of the money he earned from working for his uncle, he would only have enough money for a meager grocery bill. He needed this other job to provide him with money to keep him clothed and able to keep his date fund flowing. Even though he knew Olivia was fine with just going to the park and hanging around for hours just talking, he liked to be able to take her out on dates every now and then. He liked being able to surprise her with small gifts. He loved being the reason for the smile on her face.

"We're just starting and ending our movie marathon early, that's all," Elliot spoke, looking at it in a positive manner.

"But El, chances are my mother will be there so it's really not going to be like I thought it would."

"So we can talk to your mom, too."

She looked over at him, her face showing confusion. "About what?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. But I figure if she knows me better, then she'll let us be alone more often or at least let us shut the door part way."

Serena would only allow them to be in the living room alone together or Olivia's room but the door was to remain wide open at all times. Once, Olivia had shut it for about twenty seconds so she could look for something in her closet and Serena about had a stroke.

Olivia laughed, "Face it, El. I need to go away to college already so you can visit me and we can find alone time that way."

"No, what we need to do is find an apartment and move in as soon as possible," he corrected.

She shook her head. "That won't be happening for a few more years so don't get your hopes up too high."

"Just wait. I'll get a nice apartment, no roommates. We can be alone all the time and finally know what it is to be on our own."

"Keep dreaming, El."

"No, it'll happen, Liv. I don't know when but it will."

She didn't doubt him but she didn't want him to get ahead of himself either. Their plans were similar: move out of their houses as soon as they were done with college or sooner. Olivia was pretty much saving all of her money she'd made in the last three years working her numerous jobs. She had her money stashed in her room, hiding on the top shelf of her closet behind some old books of hers. She planned to put it in the bank soon now that she was old enough to have an account of her own. She had a nice little fortune that she hoped would be enough to get her started after college. It probably would considering she hadn't even started college yet and had another four years of working numerous jobs to make even more money for her future. She just wanted to know that she would be secure after exiting college, not broke and struggling like her mom had been. Of course, her mom had also had a newborn baby to take care of, too.

"I know it will," she said after a while, "but for now we need to take what we can get."

E

O

This had to be the most awkward time Olivia had ever spent with her mother. Her mother sat in the easy chair while she and Elliot sat at opposite ends of the couch. She had tried to get Elliot to move closer to her but he couldn't be budged.

This was definitely not how Olivia wanted to spend her day.

Even though her mom was grading finals, a job Olivia thought the kitchen table would be better suited for, Serena had insisted on watching movies with the two teenagers. That was four hours ago.

Elliot knew Olivia was frustrated with him since he wouldn't move closer to her when she tugged at his sleeve at the beginning of the first movie. He was still trying to get Serena to like him. He would never tell Olivia, but he wanted Serena's approval of his presence in Olivia's life. He planned on being with Olivia for the rest of his life. He couldn't see ever walking away from her willingly.

Serena, however, didn't like to make things easy.

Against the voice in her head telling her to go to the kitchen to grade her papers, Serena remained in the living room when Olivia arrived home. It was easier still when Elliot invited her to watch movies with them. She'd had to stifle a smile as Olivia shot Elliot a look of distain.

It was eye opening to watch Olivia when she was around Elliot. She had learned more about her daughter in the last five months than she had in eighteen years.

"Do you want something to drink, El?" Olivia offered, getting up from the couch and making her way into the kitchen.

"No, I'm okay. I have to leave pretty soon anyway."

"Oh? You mean you have plans with someone other than Olivia?" Serena teased.

Elliot chuckled. "No, I got a new job today and I start tonight."

"You don't work for your uncle anymore?"

"I do, I just need to bring in some more income for college and my own place one day."

"May I ask where you're working?"

In the kitchen, Olivia rolled her eyes at her mother. Ever since she found out about Elliot, she had done nothing but try to understand every aspect of their lives.

"I'm working at the club on East 14th street. I'm their new bouncer," Elliot shared proudly.

"A bouncer? Really?"

Elliot nodded.

"He'll be good at it," Olivia joined in, "but if any of the girls hit on him, I'm kicking their asses."

"Olivia!" Serena chastised.

"Butts, I'm kicking their butts," Olivia corrected herself in monotone. She returned to her seat with a glass of water in hand. She took a sip before offering it to Elliot. He accepted and Serena couldn't help but smile at the two of them._  
_

'_Don't you be out all night long  
Leaving me all alone  
Because I need your love  
Don't you be spending every day  
Working away  
Because I'm waiting for you  
Listen to me _

_1,2,3  
Baby, baby, baby  
Spend your time on me'_

* * *

Reviews keep me going :)


	14. Chapter 14

Hello people! It's me! So I'm not dead but I'm nowhere near updating. A long chain of events has prevented me from writing.

At first, I was finishing out the school year and studying for finals. Then I had to put my best friend of fourteen years, my dog Princess, to sleep in May. The holiday rolled around and family was over. I got a new puppy and to top it all off, my computer crashed and I had to get a new hard drive.

Right now, I don't have in my possession the current chapter to For Once in My Life. My data is still being backed up but hopefully I'll have it soon. I wasn't that far along with it to begin with so I may end up having to start from scratch.

I just wanted to let everyone know that I haven't abandoned the story. I have every intention of finishing it but it may take some time. A HUGE thanks to everyone who's still with me and excited to see what comes next! You guys make it more fulfilling to write for such a great fanfic!


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